Romans 8:28

All of these things happened this week.  And as each absolutely typical thing happened, I was filled with overwhelming gratitude and the breath-bating knowledge that life could have looked very different.  

You see, some of the dearest people in the world were walking through a very dark and deep valley, one whose end on the other side offered no assurances of life here on earth. Everlasting life, yes, but the selfishness of humanity is putting off the everlasting life of those whom we love in order for them to remain.  No one wants the people you love to go to Glory, even if Glory is the Very Best.  

And so the day after life-saving surgery came and the Lord chose in His mercy to preserve my friend, I canned salsa thinking about how I was canning tomatoes with joy, not desperation.  Not weeping tears of sadness, but joy and gladness and gratitude.  I was not making a meal for a family in mourning but making it for one healing.  Not wracking my brain with how to ease the suffering of these people I love but anxious only to hug them hard.  Not wondering how ten children would overcome their grief.  Not worried for a husband left split in two.    Not angry with God and angry with myself for being angry.    

Adele' perched atop a Papa project with a quiet heart.  Dew jewels sparkled and my tears didn't drown my vision.  A calf was born.  Dinner was made.  Tomatoes preserved.  Laundry was done. 

But it was all done... differently.  

It was surreal to see inside the alternative, safely, through the window of the mind and heart but not living and walking its' corridors.

God's ways are always good and bring about glory. We must believe this.  (Romans 8:28) If the alternative had happened, and my friend joined her Sweet One into the arms of the Lord, the Lord would be have been good in that too.  But it would be the kind of good that would require all of our shattered hearts to piece themselves together out of sheer and faithful truth-telling and that is harder than it seems. Oh, we of little faith.

But praise God for His mercies and His answered prayers and the rejoicing that comes after the valleys.  

The gratitude is ever present... it's even right there in the salsa.

Sunflowers and the State of Things

This is the state of my life right now:

I made the executive decision to tackle cleaning out our Granary.  I didn't want to.  What I WANTED to do was ignore it forever.  (Possibly burn it down.)  

But when your entire families' fall/winter clothes are in there, buried under 4 feet of STUFF and the air is turning brisk and the leaves are beginning to blush, you know it simply must be done.

It was in a shameful state.  

I worked on it every day last week and this week will be consumed by it as well.  I am essentially bringing every.single.thing out of the Granary.  Washing it up (it's disgusting).  Sorting out things to burn, things to trash, things to donate, things to give to others, things to save.  Packing it all back away in a more thoughtful and organized way.

Every.single.thing is being touched.  Quite a few times, in fact.  It's been an exhausting time of sweat, dust, cobwebs, rodents, nastiness and lots and lots of heavy lifting.  It's also been an emotional rollercoaster.  Sorting through baby bins and memories and once upon a times can be hard.

And all under the watchful eye of travelers driving along our road.  (It's mortifying watching the people slow down to gauk.)

But here is the thing!  It is going to be GREAT when it's done.  SO, so great.  

I even have hopes that it might even stay that way.  If I get rid of enough stuff, right?! (I know.  Wishful thinking.)

I've wanted to blog all summer.  I have loads of photos to catch up on.  But as with homeschooling, the clothing switcheroo, and even sometimes meals... everything must wait until THE GRANARY IS DONE.

But I thought I would just pop on here quickly to say hello to the few faithful readers of ye olde blog.(Hello Corynn!  I love you!!)  And while I am here, I figure why not plunk up a bit of sunshine while I am at it?  We all could use some! 

(These photos are from a nearby farm/creamery and taken on a day I got together with my Mom and some sisters.)

 

We all have our own trenches this week to be in.  We might be covered in dust, grime, sweat and mouse guts (or maybe that's just me).  Or maybe you find yourself in the trenches of loneliness, despair, homeschooling, overwhelm, pain and suffering, financial ruin, empty cupboards, hurt feelings or pining for things the Lord has chosen not to give.  Or wondering at the things that Lord has chosen to give that feel like they are breaking you.

Hard and messy things are hard and messy... but they are also often the things that produce the most fruit.

Gratitude is the antidote to so many of the problems in our lives.  If not the antidote, certainly a strategy that the Lord has given His people to strengthen us to endure and overcome.

 I'm thankful for sunflowers.  They aren't in my life today... but they were.  And it was beautiful.  

I need to be more thankful for things that were.  

And now- I need to get back to the Granary so I can bear more fruit.  😁