Disappointing Discrepancies

Upon publishing the last church newsletter, I was very excited to read a book review submitted for the book “Parenting in the Pew”. It seemed to me it was high time there was something in our library on such an important topic-and one that we as a church surely need some instruction on! “Finally!” I thought… “Some encouragement for the minority!”
Well, upon reading the book, I am very disheartened. First of all, though Presbyterian, the writer is not Reformed in any sense of the word. She talks about going to church in bare feet and t-shirts, “Atomic Praise choirs” for teens, and children’s church. So as not to leave anyone out, she even encourages Pentecostal and charismatic practices such as laying on of hands and speaking in tongues, for those who believe in those things!
But most importantly, her book is full of contradictions! It is a shame! She has made some wonderful points and then a paragraph down manages to screw it all up again. Here are just a few…

Good Point #1~Children are not excluded from worship-God, in fact, uses a child as an illustration of true faith. God delights in children being a part of the worship service. “Children can infringe on our worship experience. I know more than a few parents who have resented the distractions ushered into the pew by the presence of their children. Many just give up. However, children do not have to interfere with God’s experience in worship! Worship is first a blessing to God, and he values the presence and praise of children (Matthew 18:14; Mark 10:14; Luke 18:16). (page 24)

Antithesis of Thought #1~She says the above but then gives a timeline for when children ought actually to be left in the sanctuary during worship!
“Older infants and toddlers up to two and a half or three years old do well in the nursery. Nursing infants and older toddlers do well in the service about half the time. Three-year-olds and some younger children, can be trained to participate in worship that includes the creed, Scripture readings, music, and offering. In most Protestant, evangelical or charismatic congregations, this is a little more than half of a service. By about the fourth year of age, children can be in a service of worship for the entire time.” (page 59)

What happened to who cares if a child squirms-what matters is that God is glorified by having ALL of His children worshipping Him? ALL of his children are only four and up?

Good Point #2 “Worship-as-entertainment will not accelerate the spiritual growth of our children. Worship needs to be the one realm in our culture that refuses to accept the world’s addiction to be entertained in order to learn.” (page 55)

Antithesis of Point #2~Strewn throughout this book, she talks about the Praise bands, special services of music, and revivals.

Good Thought #3~ She recommends a certain devotional called Youth For Christ because it does not dumb-down the content for children. (page 91)

Antithesis of Thought #3~ She speaks of her church’s practice of “a sermon just for younger children is included after hymns, readings, choral anthem and creed.” It goes on to say that this is helpful because it teaches just “the main point of the adult sermon in a shorter, more anecdotal way.” In short, dumbing it down.

Good Point #4~ “Sundays are special. Children know that there is a difference between a birthday cake and an any-day cake. Birthday cakes are planned, designed in a special way and focused on the person being celebrated. A birthday cake is the person’s favorite; the frosting is sweeter, and the anticipation is so thick you could cut it with a knife. An any-day cake can be eaten without much introduction, but a birthday cake is eaten after candles and songs and ceremony.
Technically, cake is cake…
Worship is loving the Lord with an attitude. We love the Lord every day, but Sunday is God’s favorite flavor and the frosting is sweeter.” (page 44)

Negation #4~She speaks of not having a dress code for Sunday worship…anything to be comfortable. “They can dress as they like…as long as it is ready by Saturday evening.” (page 47) She also just makes sandwiches on Sundays…now, I know I am stretching it here and making mountains out of mole hills, but I just can’t see how these things are setting the day apart from any other day. How we dress can be glorifying (or not) to God just as how we act can be glorifying to God (or not). Personally, to me, Sunday is a day where the food is more abundant, dessert is made, good dishes and tablecloths are used, and (you know me!) candles are lit… A day set apart, a feast for our King.

Now certainly, not all of her points are antagonistic…there is certainly good to be gleaned from the pages of this book. Unfortunately, however, I tend to like books that are consistent throughout and are well thought out. So I guess, until I find a good book on the topic of children in worship-I will just have to go with my gut.  Hey! If I want it to be written, maybe I should write it! Hehehe.