And lean not unto your own understanding,
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your paths.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your paths.
Today is so gorgeous! I was a regular grumpalump yesterday until about 2:30. Then it started to rain and the temperature lowered to a more reasonable and livable temp. After that, I got a burst of energy and so was able to do things that I hadn't done in a while. I dusted, furniture polished, freshened the couches and chairs, washed glass in picture frames and doors, sorted through old magazines to keep or sell at the yard sale, did laundry, did dishes, tidied the back room and cleaned off dining room table, paid bills, and took out garbage. I sure was glad I did do all that, because when Matt came home, he was a major grumpalump too-and if he would have come home to the house pre-2:30, I would not be here today to talk about it!
Because I got so much done yesterday, nothing was very 'pressing' for me to do today so Corynn and I went to a local 'tourist farm'. It is a pumpkin farm, greenhouse, store, playground, and petting zoo all in one. They are super nice there. Each fall, during pumkin time, they clean out the greenhouse and make it into a HUGE store-and they take crafts from vendors. I went to see how I could become involved in that. It looks like I am in! They require 25% commission (ouch!) but no rental fee and I know from experience-it is a HIGH traffic place. If my things don't sell there, I don't think they WILL sell. I have to bring in some items for her to look over in mid-AUGUST, and then, per her approval, will bring the rest of my stuff to be set up. I have wanted to get in this place for a few years now-just never DID it. After I spoke with the lady, Corynn and I enjoyed the animals and playground and stuff.
I am struggling today because Matt struggled so yesterday. I know what is in his heart. I know what he longs for. I know why he keeps trying to talk himself out of the one thing that will make him truly content. He wants a farm-he has since he was a little boy. He told me recently, the one thing he wanted that he never got as a child, was to live on farm. For various reasons, he puts it out of his head-one of which, is me. I am sure he doesn't know if I could handle it. He doesn't know if I would really like it (especially since it seems I am allergic to cows!). I hate to be a stumbling block for him-even if I am just one of the many. I want more than anything for him to have his farm and for us to work together to make it a success. I am not sure how to encourage him in this area, since my outlook on such a dream is grim too. Realistically, it doesn't seem that it would ever be possible. Farms take a LOT of money, especially starting from scratch. Money that we just don't have. I don't foresee us ever getting enough money for a HOUSE-let alone a farm. He won't be content in life until he is able to do what the Lord has placed on his heart to do, and the time he is wasting trying to convince himself otherwise is just setting us back. I pray fervently that the Lord will open doors for us in this area. Until those doors start opening, I am desperately trying to discover ways in which I can help out financially. That is why I am so excited about the Pumpkin Farm, that is why I so long to set up my own website, that is why I have been trying to sell things on ebay, and that is why I don't buy expensive clothes or food. We need to start saving more money-it just isn't happening! So far, my attempts have failed. Ebay has proved to be a waste of my time, time and time again. Craft shows vary year to year. All the time you spend making things, all the money you spend being there, all the time and energies put into set-up and take-down, and an entire day working, only produce modest profit (if any.) It makes me wonder, how did Martha Stewart do it?!?!?!
5 comments:
Sweet Rebecca
May I suggest that you don't give up on your husbands dream. Anything is possible with the Lord and if it is the Lords will for you to have a farm you will.
We found a farm that we didn't think would ever be possible either and here we are getting ready to move into a farm house next month.
All things are possible to those that love the Lord and I know you love the Lord. When we believe with our husbands in their dreams and in the things that don't seem possible it makes it that much more amazing when it happens. Where there is a will there is a way and if your husband sees you positive and hopeful he can and usually will find a way to make it happen because you believe in him. There is something magical about a wife believing in her husband even during what seems to be an impossible task. He is driven when he knows you believe in him especially during a time that the task seems impossible. So stay positive and stay hopeful and believe in your man. You will be glad you did! Blessings to you and your man. My prayers are with you.
You are always welcome to come visit us on our farm when we move and get a feel for the life :)
Combining the desire to farm and the idea of Christian community leads me to one conclusion. Move to Nanticoke.
On a completely serious note (although it would be amazing to see those two work as one on one farm), I encourage you to continue trusting in God's provision. Hang on to your knowledge that even when you're longing for something so deeply, God is good and will give you the desires of your heart. Those desires will be granted if they are aligned with God's will, and, if they're not, may He give new wellsprings of desire! :) (Which is something I tell myself as I sit in town. And you know what? Every week, it seems, He gives me something from town that puts splashes of color in my life even as I miss the country.)
On another note, you've once again given me a fine example of household bustle-bustle to emulate. The past week, other than cooking, mopping, and regular cleaning, I've not done much of anything. Onward, ho!
I can't remember if I asked this already, but have you read The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery? I picked up a copy for you and will mail it if you'd like. It's a neat little book.
And the answer to your final question? She's an extra-terrestrial, of course...
One last thing. You can join Enfamil and other Similac groups on their web sites to get free coupons for their formula and re-sell them on Ebay. Lots of people sell these coupons (along with Gerber and diaper coupons), which we wouldn't normally use, anyway. It wouldn't give you much cash, but every time I was sent formula coupons when Annie was little, I made about $7-10, and the shipping was a breeze!
Rebecca
I wanted to share something with you. Do you remember in my blog about one of my posts on my pregnancy? I talked about that I had doubts in the pregnancy because of past miscarriages but my husband believed in this pregnancy. He kept on telling me he thought everything was fine. I let go of my fears to believe in him and his input on the pregnancy.
It was a rare thing for him to give input about a pregnancy. He reassured me over and over in the beginning that everything was fine. Even at the last ultrasound he said there would be a heartbeat but when they looked they couldnt find one. At first my husbands heart and face sunk because he so strongly believed in the pregnancy and I could tell he was confused and broken. But I told him I still believed in him even though he made a mistake and was wrong. He didn't understand why I still believed in him. But the fact that I did still believe in him even though what he said didn't happen made him stronger inside. It made him strong because his woman believed in him regardless of the situation. No matter what they still wish to impress you like they did when they dated you. They still want to have you admire them and believe in them like you did back in those days. So just by believing in them whether they are successful in things or a flop makes a world of difference.
Just dream with him about the farm and you may one day find yourself living on one or you may find yourselves old still talking about it. But no matter what it is just loving him through it all and letting him know you believe in him that will make the world of difference and help him to be happy and cheery instead of a grumalump.:) Stand by your man during his dreams and you will be glad you did.
Sorry I feel like I have gone on and on about this topic but I wanted to share that with you because it seemed like such a deep sore heart issue for you both and it doesn't have to hurt that much. I hope I helped even if it was just a little bit.
In His Love
Brenda
Hey Rebecca
Just so you know, I wrote my blog about being grumpy and controlling our emotions the day before I read your blog about being a grumpalump :) So it was not in reference to your post.
We all have our moments and our grump days as I stated in my blog. So I just wanted to let you know that.
Have a sweet night
Brenda
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