More than a bit on Home-keeping...You might have to take this in parts! :-)

I have been asked recently by a friend, for some pointers on home-keeping. At first I planned to just respond to her individually but in just the last few weeks I have been made aware by comments people have made, that people are putting me on some sort of pedestal, thinking I am like the ‘yoda of home-keeping’ or something. I decided to post this publicly on my blog for two reasons.

1) I want to clear the air. I am NOT a yoda of home-keeping! I do not deserve to be elevated to such esteem nor do I want to be! And so-I want to ‘expose’ my weaknesses in these areas and hopefully, put myself back in my rightful place- among all the other ladies who work diligently to serve God in their homes. I am not where I want to be as far as home-making goes-or in any other area of my life. I need work, just like EVERYONE else.

2) To share the ways that I work in the home so that whoever is struggling might be encouraged and be able to glean information off of the principals I present. I admit, MY way may not work for you as each person is different and needs different things. But perhaps if you think on the main principals, you can adapt them to your own lifestyle. More than anything, I hope to be an encouragement to get the ball rolling for those of you who are feeling despair over the state of your homes and feeling guilty over shortcomings you have. If you REALLY REALLY want to change and you REALLY want to do better-the only thing you have to do is… START.

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BUT FIRST:
Things to Avoid like the Plague:

~Comparing yourselves to others in an unconstructive way. It tears you apart, makes you feel guilty and discourages you to the point of not even trying because you know you will never measure up. The worst part is-you are comparing yourselves to an ‘ideal’ not a something ‘real’.

~Don’t elevate other people to a pedestal just because they are gifted in one area. You are believing a lie. Looking upon someone in their most gracious times means nothing. We only see small portions of peoples’ lives-the things they want us to see, the things they tell us, or the things they have prepared for us to see. Seeing the ‘admirable’ aspects of people should not make us believe ALL is admirable. We as Christians KNOW that no one person is perfect in every area of life-but no one person is perfect in ANY area of life either-which is something we often forget. Even someone who is an excellent housekeeper STILL is not perfect, she still needs improvement in some areas.

~Do NOT assume. Don’t assume that when you visit a person and their house is immaculate, that their house is ALWAYS immaculate. They probably tidied it up to prepare for your visit! Don’t assume that because a child is naughty and they deal with it in a godly manner while you observe, that they NEVER make mistakes!

***What you NEED to do is to respect people for their gifts but do so REALISTICALLY and CONSTRUCTIVELY. And most importantly, imitate their strengths- NOT the person.


Glorifying God in the Way you keep your home requires you to realize several things.

~It is a JOB. It is WORK. It REQUIRES work. It involves planning, preparation, forethought, and motivation. Many people downplay it to just a chore-but if you are to truly manage your home-you have to work at it. Organizing your cupboards, laundry, creating a pantry that is stocked for any occasion, using your finances wisely, keeping the windows clean and the house dusted, the rooms tidy and the meals ready are all things that require PLANNING.

* Most of you all know how I like schedules and lists and organization. That is my personality and that is what helps me. Perhaps it would help you too. You don’t have to go gung-ho, but having something tangible to check off can make you feel and SEE your accomplishments while it also serves to guide your day.
For the last several months, I have had a VERY hard time focusing on the tasks at hand and found myself searching frantically for SOMETHING to tell Matt I did that was productive that day. I was tired and unmotivated (still am, actually) and found myself sitting on the couch pondering what I should do or where to begin. I was spending more time THINKING about all the things I should do than actually doing them! That is when I started writing down all I wanted to accomplish the night BEFORE and then prioritizing them. By doing this, I was able to get right to it the next day without wasting precious time, I was motivated to get started so I could check things off, and I already had them prioritized so I was given the precious gift of GRACE in nowing that I probably wouldn’t finish them all, but tomorrow was a new day and I could pick up where I left off. MY goal was to complete only the IMPORTANT things and then get to the other, not so important things if I had a chance. You know what? I checked off quite a bit of ‘little’ things too!

~We are EXCELLENT procrastinators and excuse makers. We need to see that before we can STOP ourselves.
I am the QUEEN of motivation when there is something to be done that I am excited to do. On the other hand, I am the Queen of procrastination when it comes to things I am not wanting to do. That is a sin. We can put things off forever. We can put things off for seemingly valid reasons. We can make excuses until we are blue in the face and have everyone fooled (maybe) or have yourself convinced (doubtfully, which is why there is guilt.) but it is still wrong. My latest and very believable lie is “Well, I will wait until the weather is warmer. It will be much more enjoyable then.” Very true. It WOULD be more enjoyable to wait to do that project until it is warmer. But will I? Or will I want to enjoy the sunshine and the warmth? Will I put it off for a different project, one that pleases me? After all, I can always wait for a rainy day…
I will tell you right now. Stop the procrastinating and you will see results immediately. Even in the smallish stuff…ESPECIALLY in the smallish stuff. If you see cobwebs in corners of the room-take care of them RIGHT AWAY. Don’t say, “Oh-I will do that when I dust later in the week.” Not only might you forget to add that to your list, but you might forget where they were and in the meantime you are putting up with them and making your to-do list even longer. Do something when you think of it! My biggest BIGGEST challenge in home-keeping is doing the dishes. I HATE them. With a passion. I look forward to having children old enough to take over the job-but alas, that is years away. Sometimes I will avoid doing night dishes and say I will do them the next day so I can spend time with hubby. How is THAT for a wonderful excuse?!  But-the next day, the food is CAKED on and dried making my job THAT much more difficult. If I would have done it the night before, not only would my job have been easier-but we wouldn’t have to walk around it all night, I wouldn’t have to wake up to it in the morning, and Matt wouldn’t have to have THAT be his last image of home as he leaves for work. That is one of the struggles that I am working on now. Of course , I admit also, that Matt most graciously relieves me on my nightly dish duties once or twice a week often. That that is a blessing is no understatement. Apply the same principle to any number of things: Cleaning the stove. It is much easier to clean the stove right after you have cooked, then to wait to cook it on some more. Doing laundry. It is much easier to tackle a few loads that are already sorted into darks and lights than to do so with a mountain of clothes. Keeping the microwave clean: clean up the mess before it is baked on in there, for goodness sake! You will see, procrastination leads to nothing but MORE WORK!

Another excuse that seems believable is “Well, I wasn’t brought up that way.” It could be true. You may NOT have been brought up to keep your home orderly and clean-but if you know that a home SHOULD be orderly and clean and you WANT it to be-then it is no longer a reason but becomes an excuse. All you need to know it that is SHOULD be clean in order to do it. If you can see that the floor needs to be swept, then do it! You don’t need training to sweep a floor.

“Well, I have more _____________ than you do!” (substitute in the blank any of the following or your own creations: animals, children, things, or a bigger house, etc) That is an exuse because YOU were in charge of putting those things there. If you have animals in the house-be prepared to clean up after them. If you have so many children that the house is a wreck-you should have taught them from the beginning to respect their home. If your home is too big for you to keep up with-then get a smaller one. If you have too many things-declutter! Don’t use those things as an excuse. If they are important to you-do what you must to maintain them. If they are not-discard them (and you had better not be discarding any children!!!)

“There just aren’t enough hours in the day!” This is another one of my personal favorites. But even I don’t believe this one because I know that I have time to check my blog and the blogs of friends nearly every day. I have time to sleep until 6:30 or 7:00 most mornings. There IS time-unfortunately though, I can waste it.

Everyone has excuses (there are LOTS more than I have mentioned here) and everyone procrastinates-though some do so more frequently and more creatively. Try to recognize your excuses and get rid of them. They are holding you back from your true goal and focus.

~It is a job that God gave YOU! The Lord commanded our husbands to go outside the home and to work with his hands and by the sweat of his brow. And so it goes. In the same way, he told us to be the helpers of men. What I always remind myself when I feel myself getting lazy is this: While our husbands are working so tediously and tirelessly day after day for US-we should be doing so also for THEM. When my husband comes home from work-he should know that I value HIS work and have done my own bit for him. He should feel HELPED. He should feel like you are supporting him not burdening him with laziness and drudgery. Not only are we pleasing God, but we are offering our husbands a gesture of LOVE. That realization always gets me going again.
Here are some ways I show Matt I love him through keeping the house. (Of course, this is MOST days-not all. I fully admit to slacking off occasionally-not every day is everything perfect. Why? Because I am not perfect!)

1) He walks into the kitchen when he comes home from work. If no other area of the house is clean, I make sure to have that room clean. That means the dishes are WASHED, the counters and stove are clean, the floor is clean and uncluttered. He hates seeing dirty dishes. So you see, even though I hate dirty dishes, I do them to please Matt. ( I do so, praying for a dishwasher, though! hehehe)
2) I put his slippers by the door. He likes to have warm feet on this cold floor.
3) I make sure all the toys are cleaned up and the house is tidy, if not clean. It was an adjustment being married to Matt at first. He is kind of OCD (obsessive/compulsive.) He LIKES things clean and notices things most people would not. It was hard for me to adjust in the beginning-but if it is important to him it is important to me. YES-there are toys strewn about during the day! Yes. Corynn DOES play! She CERTAINLY doesn’t sit with her legs crossed on the couch, twiddling her thumbs all day! Do not believe for one second that my house is always immaculate. But I DO clean my house up to show my respect to those who enter. Matt especially, but also when we have guests. I fully admit that when I have company come over, I take extra strides to make sure all is clean, orderly, and welcoming. Candles are lit and the atmosphere is cozy. By taking extra care in the house when company comes, I want them to come in and feel as if they are VALUED and WELCOMED. WORTH the extra time it took to keep the house clean and the atmosphere bright.

~Whatever we do-we are conveying a message and Little bodies have big eyes!
Realize that no matter what we are doing, we are conveying a message to people. Knowingly or unknowingly. And not only to strangers but our CHILDREN. Are we teaching them to respect and be thankful for the gifts the Lord has given us? Or that all we have is disposable and needn’t be treated with care. This is an important lesson for THEM and it has hidden blessings for you! You see, if you teach your children young the importance of taking care of the things that God has given you-you will have HELPERS not destroyers. I have to admit, I have it EASY. I have one child and she is only two years old. But already, at two years old she is HELPER and not a DESTROYER. She puts the caps on each marker after she finishes using one and before she grabs another and she doesn’t write on walls, furniture, or anything else ‘naughty’. She sets her cup on the table, she CLEARS the ENTIRE supper table of glasses, silverwear, and ceramic plates (except the pans with food in them!), she cleans up her toys before naptime, she puts her books away when she is finished reading them or having them read to her. She is already learning to straighten her sheets on her bed when she gets out of them, to put her pajamas under her pillow, and to eat carefully so as not to spill food on the tablecloth or placemat.

All this for a two year old you ask? Yep. Because from the time she was born-I taught her that cleanliness and care is a good thing. When I fed her mashed up food, I would hold her hands down with my left hand while feeding her with my right. The whole time she thought I was just holding her hands because I loved her, and while that is TRUE, I was also teaching her NOT to grab the spoon, to cover her mouth or to smear food everywhere. From the time she started using a sippy cup I reprimanded her when she threw it down and encouraged her to set it gently. Matt thought I was nuts telling a nine month old to set a cup down gently-and told me so a number of times. And then, in a few weeks, she was doing it and no more spills. He was in shock and STILL marvels at that one. Even as a BABY-the epitomy of ‘takers’ she HELPED me by setting her cup down and saved me from lots of messy spills and food-head and anything else. She has been TAUGHT that way and so she has LEARNED to be that way. Recognize the potential in your children now, teach them to respect the things they have-and as they grow they will become more and MORE a help and not a hinderance to a clean home.


Okay: speaking of Procrastinating! This is starting to get questionably long. ;-) That is what I can think of for now. If I think of anything else, I will write it later. For now, I think I have given you all quite a bit to chew on. :-)