An indecisive day-what is more peculiar? One minute it is sunny and blue and the next it is a dark gray. Unfortunately, I spent the bright cheery part of the day cooped inside finishing up the announcements to get them in the mail this afternoon!
Matt is at his parents' house now and I feel like I see him less now that he is NOT working than when he WAS working. Won't it be nice when we move down to PA and he has no place to run away to?!? :-)
I am eating my words about Andrew. I must have bragged too much and he thought me proud because he is surely putting me in my place now. He will scream-and scream-and scream at night now-unless he is at my side. Not because he is hungry-because I have tried that. For no other reason than because he wants to FEEL me (no, sleeping next to the bed in his basket is not an option in his opinion either.) I have even tried a warmed cornbag to simulate my body heat. He's not to be fooled. Matt and I both have always been adamently opposed to having our children consistently sleep in bed with us, so this is posing a real problem. Man-is he STUBBORN! Better to break him of it now when he is 11 days old than when he is 1 1/2 years old. Now-if I could just figure out how. Despite his stubborn temper-he is a pretty special little dude. He must be-today he received a card from Mr. Pataki himself. Surely such on honor only goes to a select few. They just forgot to mention his name. And the computer ink was still wet...but that was just because a real pen was not handy...
Well, as you can tell from my last post-I am procrastinating and wasting precious time here on my blog. But oh what relief it is! I feel like eating pizza. And ice cream sandwiches. And strawberry daquiri's. Yes. DDEFINATELY strawberry daquiri's. With extra whipped cream.
10 comments:
Rebecca (somehow feels out-of-place, after looking at those matronly photos, to call you 'Beckah-Boo' this time):
There are moments in life where you see a sight so supremely benevolent that you are left, stunned, in a quiet reverence...
For me, there is nothing quite like the sight of a glowing new mother quietly embracing a minutes-old child, with a look on her face that displays the very essence of protection and love, to bring about such a moment.
I am so glad that we have somehow been able to keep our friendship up over the miles and years, for you are truly a special person to me, and it is moments like these that I hope to never lose. I wish nothing but the most charmed life possible to you and yours!
I know what you mean about not wanting the baby to sleep with you guys. Isaac was NEVER in our bed overnight. I would nurse him when he woke in our bed, and then Cory would take him back to his crib. Then Esther came along. Cory and I were extrememly sleep deprived with this child...she made her way in, for a while we would wake up in the middle of the night only to take her back to her bed...Now Gayle falls asleep with us in our bed and we take her to her room...sometimes we wake up, and one or both girls could be there...not so much Esther anymore...but oh to get a little sleep...it made all the difference for us just to bend our rules. I know you guys are different, but we felt as adament(sp?) as you did too, it is kind of funny what can happen when you are deprived of something you need sooo much like sleep:) Hang in there!
Too bad about your disappearing sleep-- oh, I do hope it reappears for you!
I know you're against co-sleeping, and I'm NOT trying to convince you otherwise (I've blabbed my mouth too much in the past, so I feel the need for that disclaimer!). You may be against limited co-sleeping, too, but is there a reason why it would have to be a permanent move to your bed? I would co-sleep with both girls when they were fussy (or if I was too exhausted to put them back into their bedside cradle after nursing them!), but the majority of the time, they slept right next to our bed. I didn't have to "wean" them off of co-sleeping when they were older, even though I co-slept some nights. (For the record, I enjoy co-sleeping, but I like to thrash and roll about in my sleep, too...)
I remember a few weeks back your comment about a picture of Millie and Susannah--you said you believe babies like to be touching the people they love and that you don't think that's a coincidence. I don't, either! :) Perhaps the comfort of momma's warm presence is something he needs right now, and you can transplant him back when you know the time's right. And ONE need I'm sure of is his stretched-thin momma's need for sweet rest! :)
You're the one spending every moment with him, though, and you know his emerging personality and habits. Even though the girls didn't get addicted to our bed, he might! (Oh, and Millie only spends some nights in our bed because she rolls off of her mattress in her sleep right onto ours...ha!)
p.s. I'm sending Andrew subtle brain-washings right now, "Sleep dear boy, let mother sleep...sleep, dear boy, let mother sleep....sleep, dear boy...."
I don't want to say something and have it come across the wrong way. I'll be very careful with my choice of words. You may have read my response to your question at CMOMB, so maybe you already know what I'm going to say.
Andrew, as all babies, was nestled inside your body, in constant contact with you, for 9 months! I think to expect to "break" him of his need for you at just 2 weeks old is not realistic or even necessary! You have several months in which to work with him before he becomes harder to "break" from being near you. I'm confused by your understanding of s sick child needing to be near but not of a newborn baby who's been in such close contact with you for so long.
Please know that I'm saying all this out of love for you and your family. I hope that some of the suggestions from the ladies at CMOMB will be helpful to you during this difficult time.
P.S. (I just had to copy Abby. Just kidding.) ;)
I also wanted to say that it seems you are expecting Andrew to act differently than a newborn does and should act. His God-ordained instinct tells him he needs to eat frequently, be changed frequently, and be in contact with his parents and other humans frequently. He needs you now more than he ever will again! Soon enough he'll be as independant as Corynn and you'll wonder where the time went. As hard as it is to change our expectations, it's worth it to savor each of these moments before he's not a baby anymore but a little(big) boy! Embrace the differences between Andrew and Corynn for God made them each different people! In good time Andrew will be night-weaned and sleeping through night in his own bed. Enjoy the time you have with him now! God amy choose to bless more quickly this time with another baby/pregnancy and you won't have the same kind of time to devote to him as you did Corynn.
Sorry for the novel length P.S post. (blush) I'm just trying to encourage a dear friend who I will miss greatly when she moves away!
Hugs,
Leah
Erin~Wow! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! It was joy beyond joys to hear from you, even in the quietudes of type.
The rest of you ladies: :-)
I guess the biggest fear I have concerning co-sleeping is a hypothetical. I feel like I will be 'training' Andrew (or any child) to NEED to sleep with us and then it will be MY fault when I struggle to 'wean' him from it. All I would have to blame for my five year old refusing to sleep without me is MYSELF and I would hate myself for that. Sleeping with a newborn is not THAT big of a deal if it is every now and again. Actually, I did quite a bit of it when Matt was away! I actually LIKE snuggling close to Andrew-probably as much as he does. It is just that lurking fear that I will be training him to be like that forever.
If I knew that he would be okay sleeping an occasional night with me I would not even HESITATE to do it. As I said before-I just don't want it to become habitual. I DO believe babies enjoy the comfort of touch. And I DO think that sick babies may need your nearness as well. So why is this such a paralyzing fear for me? Probably because really, my feelings on co-sleeping haven't changed all that much. I do still believe Matt and I need our own time and space-strictly for each other. And the ONLY place we have just for us is our bed (except in the morning when the children just GATHER there...)
Andrew sleeps right next to me in his Moses basket. Since our mattress is on the floor-we are BASICALLY sleeping side by side-without the touch.
I am happy to report that he has begun to do better again. He slept the night through one night-the night I most desperately needed it. He hasn't had a repeat performance but at least I was able to rest up. Because he IS doing better, I think it MIGHT be okay to 'break our rules' when he needs it most-since he hasn't been 'ruined' by the few nights I did breakdown and let him sleep with me.
The only thing I wanted to clarify is this...I don't believe I am forcing Andrew into a Corynn box. I do embrace the differences they have. Nor do I believe I am having too high of expectations for Andrew. He has proven that he is capable of sleeping well (waking up twice in the night at two weeks is very good in my opinion) seperate from me. I don't think it is unreasonable for me to think he can continue doing what he is doing just because he is so young. Andrew as a newborn is different than other newborns-so I am not going to expect him to do things that other newborns don't do-I am going to expect him to do things that HE does as a newborn and he has already proven himself to do certain things. I can now expect them. However, there may be days when 'factors' change things up and I do need to be more ready to face different variables. So anyway-thanks for the comments and encouragement. (I am still hoping Abby's brainwashing works.)
Rebecca,
I wasn't saying that you WERE forcing Andrew to be like Corynn, I was just trying to caution you against it. I'm sorry if I came across sounding like that was what you were doing.
I have one other thought. You don't need to answer here if you don't want to. It's just food for thought. Did you have an epidural or other pain meds during labor and delivery? If so, these could have greatly affected Andrew's first week of life. Most babies born after medicated births are much more sleepy than babies born after non-medicated births. If you did use pain meds of any kind, the behavior Andrew was displaying during his first week may not have been who he really is. He may just now be showing his true personality. Like I said, this is just food for thought.
See you tomorrow!
Well my sweet friend...you are not the only procrastinator around. I STILL have a big box here with your name on it...just waiting to be mailed. Can I possibly blame my hubby for this???LOL
Now I realize you are just 13 days from moving and don't know if I ought to send it or just wait till you get moved. I have a few suprises I also threw in for you.
Let me know what you want me to do. Hey since you are only going to be two hours away I'll just deliver it...LOL! Wishful thinking!
Have a good Resurrection Day! ~Jen
Howdie there! I see that you now have a precious little boy! Congratulations!
I just wanted also to let you know that co-sleeping isn't a bad thing. It sure did help when I was running on little to no sleep!
We "weaned" our kids gradually starting when they were about 7 months old. We started them out in the crib and about 3AM they woke to eat and I tucked them in bed with us until it was time to wake for the day. This gradually, little by little, decreased until they were a year old and in their own bed for most of the night.
Our reasons for weaning them from our bed were basically to be able to sleep without a squirming baby kicking us awake. We have back problems too and sleeping in a comfortable possition without waking up with our backs bothering us was a good reason to wean them from our bed as well.
I would like to encourage you to follow your baby's lead in these early days/weeks. It will make for a happier mommy and family.
I hope to talk with you soon!
Blessings,
Regina
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