June's heat is hot and heavy upon us, making it difficult to even think of doing anything worthwhile. Heaving one foot in front of the other is accomplishment enough, and sweat forms on our brow even while we rest. It will be nearly 100 degrees today and the air is already heavy and clammy~ but in the night, June will let out it's frustration in the anger flashes, shouts and weeping of the sky. I look forward to it and plan even to dance among the drops and flashes, soaking up the refreshment of a midsummer storm.
My mind has been in a similar state these days; at times my thoughts are hot and heavy upon my heart, moments later the clouds of worry break open and I inwardly weep and groan.
There are secrets here. For weeks I have hidden from the world the things that have troubled and excited my heart. Possibilities of change, yet they are possibilities still. Not certainty. There is no closure. No days set apart to look forward to the beginning of our new life.
Still, I wait. Still, I must keep secrets. Still, I have to keep these things within-though I am never very good at keeping my emotions under lock and key.
Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. ~Psalm 27:14
I can rid my body of sweat by taking a cold shower or dancing within a thunderstorm, but it is much harder to rid yourself of your thoughts, worries, and anticipations. I wish they could be washed so easily away.
Yet while I struggle with my own ignorance, I can find comfort knowing that our lives have already been planned. The future is not unknown to ALL, just us. For now. God has known where our lives are headed since before we were even born. He has already decided where and when to change our situation and will make these things happen in His perfect timing. I do find comfort in that.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31
Until I can share the secret things of our house, I leave you with a clue in visual form. Hopefully soon, all will be revealed. VERY SOON!
:-)
I think those are very cool looking steps. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAs long as the secrets involve good things.....as long as everyone is well in your home.....
ReplyDeleteI know how difficult it to wait on the Lord, but remember, He will give us the desires of our heart. He makes His desires ours. So whatever the answer to your 'secrets', you will have them turned into your desires. Waiting is good for us, it keeps us dependent on the Lord. Soon, I think you will know.
ReplyDeleteI know it! You secretly bought our house, because those look exactly like our stairs! hehe :D
ReplyDeleteI pray God gives you patience (and me, I want to know!) to wait on His timing. I pray the change you are taling about will be perfect in His plan.
ReplyDeleteBlessings my friend-
Andie
PS...come to KS for a visit, the high today was only in the mid-80s. It felt nice after the upper 90s we had on Saturday!
Honey, make sure your are not internalizing these things too much. I understand the need for discretion, but maybe you will feel more relazed if you can confide in someone trustworthy, or just sit down and write it all out on paper. How well I know prganacy hormones make us high strung, and occasionally unreasonable( I'm not saying you are either of these things, just making a point:) ), and sometimes it is better to have a person not related to the situation to blow off steam to.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have several other suggestions for you: Take a nice long bath after the kids go to bed, bring in a radio for quite music, something to drink, and do a facial while you are in the tub.
Go to your retreat, and bring your Bible, and a notebook. Pour out all your frusterations, and concerns to the Lord. Then just be quiet. Write down, and look up in your Bible, whatever you think He's telling you.
Sing or put on the most joyful music you can think of.
Go scream really, really loudly.
I know you will, but I can't think of a good way to end this, so Keep us posted. And don't be afraid to list specific prayer requests. We are called to bear one anothers burdens!
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
Your picture just made me think immediately - "where-ever I lay my hat, that's my home".
ReplyDeleteHoping that things fall into place quickly for you. Waiting can be so hard!
Cheers, Wilm in NZ
A place to hang your hat? :-) That would be terrific!
ReplyDelete