Today I...........

* Cried over a terrible tomato tragedy which I can't think about, let alone talk about. Now now. Not today.

* spent hours in the garden in the middle of this hot and heavy-aired day with sweat glistening on my back and forearm. I realized I sorta liked seeing myself sweat like that. It's good to work up a sweat now and again.

* Realized I liked even MORE, the (well-earned) hose shower the kids and I played under afterwards in our every day clothes. (!!!)

* Heard the contagious laugh of children who are surprised by "old mother" doing something silly like playing in a hose.




* Talked to a friend on the phone for 59 minutes and 47 seconds after months and months, (ME! The one who hates talking on the phone!) I wondered what ever had made me wait so long.

* Spoke harshly to the children and apologized. They always enjoy the forgiving, and so do I.




* Made sausage gravy for supper tonight and Corynn just KNEW it was because that was her MOST favorite meal.

* Won a pair of cowboy boots on ebay for Andrew and they arrived today...but when he tried them on---they were too small! I was terribly disappointed but little Panda voice kep reassuring me "Dat dust awight Mama." "Dat dust awight."

* Had a meltdown on Mattie. And somehow, he made a crying gal laugh.

* Did dishes. LOTS. oddly---I never once pined for a dishwasher.



* Snapped beans. LOTS. They are dehydrating as we speak.

* Boiled corn. It is freezing as we speak.

* Watched an egg come out of a chicken!!! A case of the right place at the right time and a new (to us) chicken who doesn't quite get the nesting boxes yet. For a brief moment I relived that moment when a baby makes its final move out and you are FREE. I *FELT* it. (That happens when I see a calf birth too.)



* Noticed the pink clouds at sunset.

* Gave Jed a pat and apologized for all the flies that have been pestering him lately. He licked my hand in return and took a nice cool drink of water.



* Picked up all the books on the floor in the living room and returned them to the library basket only to discover a book that I borrowed but never even opened. I sat down on the couch for a brief moment to see whether I ought to renew it or if it wasn't worth it and didn't get back up for an hour. It's worth it.

* Wrote two letters and sealed them with a kiss.

* Tried to decide what to do with the bushel and a half of peaches I just got...and fast.

* Harvested enough cucumbers to make my first batch of pickles

* Tucked everyone in except Corynn and read her four chapters of a Magic Tree House Book. I didn't mind the sticky heat even when she pulled herself close and pulled my arm around her shoulder.

* Could not understand why almost-six-year-old-child snuggles are so rare.



* Had a shower "experience". You know...the kind that takes your breath away with it's coldness but then feels so good you are left virtually incapable of leaving. I did, eventually, force myself out and now here I sit, cool and refreshed. Oh-evening showers are So nice.

* Look forward to wrapping my toes around Matt's slumbering ones in just a few minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~

This day was filled with trials and testing, failures and sins because I am me. Unclean to the core. But it was also filled with renewal and cleansing, forgiveness and strengthening.

The house is asleep; the only sounds the click click of this keyboard, the hum of the dehydrator and the nightsongs from the window. The kitchen is cleaned from a hard day within and my list is made for tomorrow. It goes something like this:

* blanch more beans
* make more pesto
* can pickles
* stuff squash
* live with JOY
*speak with tenderness
* act with patience
* be one day further ahead down this road called sanctification

** recognize each of these moments as the gifts that they are.

Celebrating gifts 26-49 with the gratitude community~