*Muah*

It was my birthday yesterday.

My last year in my twenties and all of a sudden I am feeling not quite ready to get old. I still feel like I ought to be 22.


Matt made it lovely for me~ not with big gifts but with little moments. Like making me breakfast in bed and calling me lovely (!!) in front of the entire church congregation. And for pulled pork at dinnertime that *I* didn't have to make.


And a friend from church made me a surprise cheesecake! (oh my, do I love me some cheesecake!) What a wonderful, thoughtful thing to do, no?


And it was.... sublime.


Saw this floating around and thought how perfectly fitting for my birthday. I thought it would be pretty quick to answer, but it was surprisingly difficult to answer at times.
Wonder if/how my answers will have changed by next year?


At 29 years old:

i am: living my dream

i know: that no matter how hard I try or how badly I want it, I will never do everything right or know everything there is to know. And that it is okay.

i want: words of wisdom to rush forth from my lips at the exact moment they are needed. But they never do.

i have: way too many craft supplies.

i miss: love letters, singing around my Mom's piano and fitting into my wedding dress.

i fear: big huge bridges, heights, and walking on grates in the sidewalk. Not petrified, just...nervous. OKay. MAYBE petrified when it comes to bridges.

i feel: like I am not ready to be old yet, but I am getting there anyway.

i hear: songs in the breeze, laughter in the brooks and God in thunder

i crave: acceptance and love.
.
i search: for unnoticed treasures, beauty, moments and memories when I pick up the camera. And with each "click", I NOTICE. This is why I love taking photographs. And that is why I can't stop.

i regret: something new every day.

i love: seeing old people holding hands. Seeing large families with lots of well-behaved children. The sound of uncontrollable laughter. Laugh wrinkles. Matts voice.

i care: too much about what other people think of me.

i always: wear toenail polish. I feel naked without it. And when I wear RED, I feel just a little bit risque. ;-)

i believe: that there is something beautiful about every single person on earth and that is what we need to be looking for.

i dance: even when I don't have a dancing partner (which is always since Matt only dances with me in the kitchen and never in public.) *sniff*

i sing: really loudly and in all circumstances

i don’t always: say yes to my children when I should. Say no to my children when they shouldn't. Use my time wisely.

i truly desire: land of our own where I can plant orchards and vineyards, rhubarb and asparagus and live there long enough to harvest them. I want to grow children in a place where they can dig dirty toes in dirt and make strong roots. To have a home that great-great grandchildren can still visit long after we are gone and say "That was great great Grandpapa and Grandmama's house. Papa played on that tree when he was boy."

i like: playing cards at my in-laws. Sitting around a bonfire. Anything sparkly. Yard-saling. Playing kick the can on a Sunday afternoon. My dad's gray hair. Reading in the grass. Throwing parties. Decorating. Working in my craft room. Wearing flowers in my hair. Giving Handmade. Finding a letter in my mailbox.

i write: every.single.day

i lose: almost always at chess, almost never at Blink.

i win: in all circumstances.(James 1:2-12)

i try: not to interrupt when friends are talking but sometimes I am so excited to talk to them I forget.

i never: eat fish, drink coffee or drive by myself to a place I have never been without VERY PRECISE DIRECTIONS.

i am grateful: for men who open doors for women, people who encourage and compliment at the grocery store even when they don't have to. For children who stand up to offer you a chair when there are no more available. For courtesies that were once commonplace that no longer are and feeling happy to witness them when they do happen.

i listen: to a wide range of music, from Psalms to Frank Sinatra to Johnny Cash. And I sing to all of them.

i am scared: Of living without my husband. Burying my children. Cancer.

i need: sugar

i am happy about: the very pivotal, very exciting, very challenging, very faith-building, very life-changing, very prayerfully-dependent thing that is happening this very week.

(and now you see my one freakish eyebrow that stands in salute. My gift to you.)