I want to be the girl that LAUGHS

These are trying times for so many.

I thought, being homeschoolers who barely leave the house anyway, who prefer reading to shopping any day of the week, who put up food and whose norm has always been buying supersize everything... that we would be less impacted by this whole COVID19 pandemic than most.

Thankfully, Matt's work is still considered "essential" to the food supply.  He drives into an empty building and works a normal shift but without the travel that makes up such a large part of his work.

So, indeed, we are far less impacted by it all than some.

But, I am surprised even to admit it, I am majorly stressed!  

I have really been pondering why this is... and I think it comes down to two things, at least for me.

#1.  The fear-mongering that WILL.NOT.STOP and the FEELINGS from everyone on all sides.  Weirdly, I have found myself almost obsessed with the news and drawn to the computer for the 'latest intel' which only makes the problem (and my worry) that much worse.   Yesterday I finally called myself out. I forced myself to stay away from the internet and refused to even look at the computer all day.  I think I may have to do that every day until this thing is finally over.   Everyone is sharing panic and no one is sharing peace.  Well.  Almost no one.

#2.  The absence of WORSHIP.  Our church practices weekly Lord's supper.  It is a means of grace and blessing from the Lord to His people... and when you grow used to being FED and then go without it for two weeks... you feel STARVING.  When the Lord's Day anchors your week for you, you feel thrust about by the crashing waves without it- you forget what day it is and when you will find rest once again.  When you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, and can not be with them, you can't help but feel isolated and alone.

We are still worshipping at home, of course, but it just ain't the same.   How blind we can be to the gifts God has given us.  When they are just so naturally a part of our lives, we can so easily take them for granted.  How glaringly obvious they are, now that those blessings  are gone.  It is good to be reminded of these things.  

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I am slightly jealous of everyone who keeps saying that this quarantine is providing them time to do all sorts of new things and tackle all sorts of projects and learn all sorts of new skills.

My days look exactly the same as every other day.   As many things as I would LOVE to tackle (I have a HUGE list...), I am just impressed if I can check two 'extras' off the daily list.  That is an impressive day.  Sometimes checking ONE extra off the daily is all I can muster.  Sometimes, just keeping up with the wood heat, laundry, food and schooling is really all that I can muster. 

The other day, when the computer was off-limits to all, I told the kids "NO SCHOOL!  Just find something educational to do that you never get a chance to do.  Find an art project!  Build something!  Do a science experiment!  Cook something! Read books!"

My goal was to destress and find that elusive free time that everyone seems to be talking about and accomplish something fun.  

And guess what?

Didn't find it.

I did, however, have time to reorder the book stacks in the staircase.  

Books have been lining the stairs for a couple weeks now, all because of ONE little person who has decided she likes looking at chapter books as much as the big kids...

If left up to her own devices, Corynn does WEIRD stuff like patiently writing a zillion letters and symbols over and over again.



And then calling it 'art'. 

The really weird thing is..... it turns out it is!



I so enjoy the 'springing ahead' in daylight savings time.  For many reasons. 

Not the least of which is... the lighting is nice enough to take pictures of food again. 

And we all know, food is a big part of my life.

Crocuses in bloom!  

And you get a million pictures of them because I am ALSO starved of flowers!

I have had some medical issues since Moses was born that prevented me from comfortably walking or moving.   For months, I would see all sorts of doctors and had all sorts of tests (including lyme) but to no avail.  It has been very debilitating.   One diagnosis has been plantar fasciitis that just WON'T heal!  Another diagnosis was a slipped disc in my lower back.  It isn't everything, but it is a start.

Because of these issues, I have been moving as little as possible and downright dreading all the work and manual labor that springtime would require. 

Also because of this, poor Moses has been cooped up indoors since birth.

Last week, on a particularly warm day, I took Moses to the flower circle to start the long process of clearing the way for GROWING THINGS! 

It was hilarious because every time the wind blew, even just a little, he would start gasping for breath and looking at me like this:

"Save me Mama!"

Poor boy didn't know there was such a thing as moving air! 

The children have been hanging out, playing so nicely in the lilac bushes.  (Always a first clue to mischievousness, is when parents are impressed with how 'nicely' children are playing...)

I discovered that some of the children had made their 'secret' fort in the lilac bushes a bit more fancy- with an actual entrance.

Unfortunately for me, that entrance came at the expense of all my old-fashioned roses being cut.

I don't want to talk about it.

Ineke is now the official egg gatherer and takes her job VERY seriously.  She isn't a bit scared of chickens, unlike some of her siblings.  Her grinning in the doorway is one of my favorite sights. 

No sandwich bread means the childrens' FAVORITE lunches of all time!  Smorgasbord!

Moses' last night in the baby cradle.   

*SNIFF*

What I am reading right now:  The Aspern Papers and The Turn of the Screw by Henry James

What I am working on right now: two long overdue baby gifts- just in time because NEW BABIES have been born!   I made this sailor whale to match a sailor outfit for a sweetling down the road.  I used this free pattern but instead of just yarn for the dingy, I used a wooden ring, covered in yarn and then attached so as to stay put. 

I've also been making some cheery dishcloths while I listen to sermons.  (THAT isn't something I can do at church! ha!)  Here is the sermon on plagues we listened to last Sunday.  It was powerful.

Be well, friends. 

crafting on...