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But first.... a look at last year. (eek.)
Last years' goals for 2021 were beautiful to make- but were unable to be accomplished, in many cases, due to the overwhelming nature of the unforeseen events that took place. In some ways, I succeeded. In many ways, I failed miserably.
The Lord was gracious and kind to us, allowing us to meet our financial obligations, which were many and overwhelming. He even provided superficial kindnesses like beautiful couches off of craigslist (making our living room look more 'put together' than it ever has, a kitchen aid mixer, a working washing machine and a repairable sewing machine.
Rather than MAKE a handmade Christmas gift every month of the year, very early on I changed that goal to "checking off one gift" each month. Some were handmade, some were store bought... but either way it was very helpful. It was a real blessing to have that much of a head start come December, particularly given how crazy my autumn was.
One goal was to have families over once a month for intentional game nights. We did host quite a few families over for game nights- especially the first half of the year- but this did not happen throughout the year. We did consistently have families over each month for fellowship, worship or fun- and sometimes even with games- but not with the express purpose of playing games. I discovered that hospitality is not a thing that we need practice on or to make time for... we are doing it pretty constantly throughout the year. It runs in and through our veins.
I barely squeaked by painting the living room- the week before New Years. And yes- I painted it white. (BORING!) But it saved time, taping and a trip uptown. (I do regret it though and wish I had gone with color.)
Pretty much everything felt like abject failure. And that is how THAT went.
So what about 2022?
This is going to sound very selfish and vain but I promise it is not coming from a place of vanity or selfishness.
Here goes:
This year I need to focus on ME.
I have been trying to ignore some serious health issues for the last two years- because doctors never gave me answers when I went, I paid lots of money to doctors who did not give me answers, and then Covid made everything about doctors' offices and appointments downright unpleasant. My back, spine, and joints make life very unpleasant most days.
I have ballooned to my highest weight (while pregnant even). I can't seem to lose it- even though I am actually trying to be low carb, cut out sugars and grains, etc.
My hair is falling out of my head. When I put it in a ponytail- the ponytail is now the diameter of a PENCIL.
I have other issues that you don't need/want to know about.
Point is: something is amiss. And I really need to stop ignoring it just because it is unpleasant to think about/do something about.
I would like to be able to function in a way that my lifestyle requires. I would like to be healthy. I would like to be playful and fun for my children. I would like to be the workhorse I always have been. I would like to feel my age...not eighty. I would like to figure out what is wrong with me so that I can correct it to do all the above. In a nutshell: I would like to use my body for God's glory...and I can't right now.
Also- I would like to have hair. (Okay, okay. This may be sheer vanity.)
So this year I am going to focus on myself.
I am going to do hard things.
Like go to doctor appointments.
Research and take needed vitamins.
Experiment with dietary changes that might eventually impact my weight. (WHY CAN'T THERE BE A MAGIC PILL!?!)
Pray for healing and answers...and attempt to fix whatever has gotten me to this awful place.
Not any easy list to check off- but I hope by next year, my body will be improved.
It is the ONE thing I really, really hope to accomplish in 2022.
12 comments:
Rebecca, I will be keeping you in my prayers! Just one quick mention…..it sounds offhand like you may have some big time thyroid issues going on (perhaps even Hashimoto). Some simple blood tests should indicate this….but an endocrinologist vs a GP may be the way to go. Or, if you can find a good functional medicine (more holistic) physician. Anyway, that’s just my .02 based on how you described yourself and past experiences. No matter what you’ve got my prayers. And, its not a bad thing to focus on yourself at all….to be able to give the best of yourself to others you have to be at your best.
Melissa- that seems to be what I am leaning toward myself. We shall see! :-) Thank you for the prayers!
I have been reading your blog for years now. I think it was when Judah was born maybe. Anyway I love your content and have always been amazed at how much you accomplish. I am so sorry about your health crisis. It is not fun to not feel well and have health care professionals tell you that it is normal for a mom with 5 children. We are supposed to be tired so therefore it isn't abnormal. I have been on a journey and I feel world's better than I have in years! I have researched and and people have recommended things so I pray you find answers. If you want to watch a doctor's channel on YouTube I have learned so much with Dr Berg. He has so many videos and very informative.
Check your iron and thyroid levels is what jumped out at me.
Dearest Rebecca,
Big hugs to you. I think it’s wonderful you are focusing on you this year. In focusing on YOU, you will be inadvertently focusing on others, your family, friends. Do NOT fail in this goal. Do not feel like you are being selfish and quit. You need to feel your best for you in general, and your sweet family. I’m thinking thyroid too, and just a general bloodwork all around (make sure you see the bloodwork, request copies!).
On a side note, I find it so much harder to stay slim in my forties. Sob. But I will tell you that when I DO do intermittent fasting, it works. And I feel great. No eating after 5:30, and no food before 9:30am (besides coffee:) Sometimes I will do the 6pm-10am thing which seems to work better. It’s slow losing at first which is what we need to do anyway. And it’s not restricting and not a DIET! And you can have yummy carbs (who wants to give those up anyway! I’ve SEEN your baked goods...;)
Someone mentioned Dr Berg...he has a lot of videos on intermittent fasting...
I’ve needed braces for years and years and years. This is the year I’m seeing about my teeth. I have my first ever orthodontist appt. I’m nervous and feel like I’m crazy for doing it (especially when a couple of my children need braces)...I figure I’d rather have braces at 43 than say, 65. :D So add me to the list of taking care of myself this year!
I might even start coloring my hair this year. Hehe....
Love to you, Monica
I went through exactly the same thing in my 40s and kept telling doctors that I thought my thyroid was off. Because the results were borderline, they refused to give me medication. I finally went to an endocrinologist, who listened to my symptoms, got new blood tests and while the results were still borderline hypothyroid, put me on medication and I suddenly felt like a human being for the first time in years. And yes, losing my hair was very upsetting. Sending prayers that you get answers and help.
I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time
Get your self checked out, take care of yourself so you can look after others (put your mask on first, as they say in an airplane)
Check your vitamin D levels in all the other blood work you are getting done.
Oh no, praying for you! I think that is a great new years resolution, because it will enable you to help and serve others. My nursing brain jumps right to the possibility of having hypothyroidism. It is a simple blood test that will tell you and hopefully not to expensive.
I will add my opinion not that you necessarily need it. It does sound like thyroid. My husband had Hashimoto for years before I finally got his stubborn self to the doctor who did a simple blood test. Our doctor is holistic and a pharmacist and DO and goodness what else. D3 deficiency is so common in so many things it simply cannot hurt to add it in even before you see your doctor! I am by no means touting it as a cure all for what's ailing you but I'll lay odds you're deficient...
Time of life will bring all sorts of aches and pains and thinning hair etc. I can't tell you how often I bumped against, "Might be perimenopause or thyroid deficiencies" in trying to find things that would cure my health problems at about your age.
And last don't underestimate what sheer stress alone will do to your body. It depletes minerals and nutrients and sleep and adrenal glands. Goodness knows it's been a stressful year behind you!
Have a blood test that checks your ANA. Sounds like you may have an autoimmune disorder. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I see a rheumatologist. Hope you find answers.
Thank you everyone. Is it me or does everyone think it is thyroid?! hehehe
Monica and Mim- Dr. Berg is my homeboy. ;-)
I'm so glad that you are taking the time this year to focus on yourself! You are such a wonderful blessing to your family and so many others. You give of yourself so generously and being healthy will give you the ability to continue being such a blessing. Of course, you know all that! <3
Have you had the opportunity to read Health for All of Life? If not, I can bring my copy to you this coming weekend!
As for the hair loss, I didn't know until very recently that C0v!d can cause hair loss! I also dealt with losing a lot of hair and thought is was purely hormonal, peri-menopause and all that. But now I'm pretty sure it was because of having had C0v!d. It is starting to grow back in now and I'm so grateful.
Intermittent fasting and THM are what helped me lose weight last year. It was a great combination for me. Jennifer D. has a free 10 Day IF Challenge that was a good introduction to IF. I really want to get back to it soon!
Much love to you, dear friend! I'll be praying that by this time next year you feel like a different woman! <3
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