Romans 8:28

All of these things happened this week.  And as each absolutely typical thing happened, I was filled with overwhelming gratitude and the breath-bating knowledge that life could have looked very different.  

You see, some of the dearest people in the world were walking through a very dark and deep valley, one whose end on the other side offered no assurances of life here on earth. Everlasting life, yes, but the selfishness of humanity is putting off the everlasting life of those whom we love in order for them to remain.  No one wants the people you love to go to Glory, even if Glory is the Very Best.  

And so the day after life-saving surgery came and the Lord chose in His mercy to preserve my friend, I canned salsa thinking about how I was canning tomatoes with joy, not desperation.  Not weeping tears of sadness, but joy and gladness and gratitude.  I was not making a meal for a family in mourning but making it for one healing.  Not wracking my brain with how to ease the suffering of these people I love but anxious only to hug them hard.  Not wondering how ten children would overcome their grief.  Not worried for a husband left split in two.    Not angry with God and angry with myself for being angry.    

Adele' perched atop a Papa project with a quiet heart.  Dew jewels sparkled and my tears didn't drown my vision.  A calf was born.  Dinner was made.  Tomatoes preserved.  Laundry was done. 

But it was all done... differently.  

It was surreal to see inside the alternative, safely, through the window of the mind and heart but not living and walking its' corridors.

God's ways are always good and bring about glory. We must believe this.  (Romans 8:28) If the alternative had happened, and my friend joined her Sweet One into the arms of the Lord, the Lord would be have been good in that too.  But it would be the kind of good that would require all of our shattered hearts to piece themselves together out of sheer and faithful truth-telling and that is harder than it seems. Oh, we of little faith.

But praise God for His mercies and His answered prayers and the rejoicing that comes after the valleys.  

The gratitude is ever present... it's even right there in the salsa.