WeekEnding

Tomorrow I am getting up early and going yard-saling at a huge annual community yard sale with my sister (and hopefully, Mom!), stopping by a church that has an annual perennial sale which I NEVER miss(perennials for pittance!), then a college graduation party in the afternoon and church communion bread baking in the evening.  On Sunday, we are having a church picnic after church so I need to figure out what to make for that too.

And somewhere, in the cracks and crevices of the weekend, I must eek out time to prepare garden beds and contend with our weed issues.  And, clearly, they ARE issues.

What are your plans for the weekend?  Whatever they may be, I hope yours is a happy one!

Pretty.Happy.Birthday

I woke up yesterday another year older.   And though the day didn't go *quite* as planned, I have to say, it was a pretty swell birthday.

{pretty}

 Birthday scones on the special birthday plate.  With kiwi and fresh pineapple because I love them.  And bacon, for the same.

{happy}

 Corynn stitched me up a leaflet of poems about Mothers.  Dripping with sap- just the way I like it.  The girl knows me.

 I got FOUR envelopes in the mail.  FOR ME.  And not a bill among them.  I love, love, love receiving mail so I totally count this as a (four) present(s).


{funny}

 My eyes are incredibly alien-like which can, admittedly, make for a funny picture.  Not so funny in real life though.  (Ps.  Those earrings I am wearing was the first Christmas gift I ever received from Matt...back when he bought me jewelry!  They came in an inscribed heart jewelry box  which I was CERTAIN held an engagement ring.  But alas.  I had to wait almost a whole year before that!) 


I didn't know until about 1:00 in the afternoon whether we would be able to go out to dinner or not.  When I found out, I emptied the refridge of all its' leftovers and made a first rate, pathetic looking meal for the children to eat with the babysitter.  I felt kinda bad.

And then I ate this... and I felt bad again.



But when I got home, they all RAVED over supper.  It was SOOOOOO good, said they, and I once again thanked God for giving me such easy-to-please, happy-go-lucky children. 


{real}

I made my own cheesecake because Matt had work he had to do the night before.  My birthdays' eve was a bad night in general and I was in a melancholy mood and not feeling at all like making my own cake- so I threw it all together and only after it was too late did I remember that cheesecake really can't be THROWN together.  Hence a cheesecake with white cream cheese flecks in it, most noticeable in the chocolate layer.  It didn't look professional but it still tastes pretty good.  (Can cheesecake taste bad?)

We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner which is, as it turns out, a Texas-sized RIP OFF...(but nothing beats their rolls and honey butter!) and outside the restaurant was a beautiful flowering tree.  I don't really like this picture all that much for a number of reasons, but I post it here anyway because it takes an awful lot for Matt to stand by a tree IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and have his picture taken and I'd hate for him to have done it for nothing.  So, for the moment, I will disregard the fact that my head is bigger than my body and three times as big as Matt, the fact that my hair is (as usual) wonky and that Matt looks like he hates his life and instead I will focus on the fact that:  We got a picture together!  In a public place!  With PEOPLE around us!!

Four Eyes (or Sixteen)

We just got back from the optometrist and spent way too much on glasses. 

But QUALITY costs.

Overexposed

These pictures are all super blown-out and over-exposed, but you know what?  I love them anyway. I don't know why.  Because Judah is just a big 'ol HOSS and can push tractors weighed down by brother and sisters?  In his skivvies no less?!  Because that is JUST the face Little Addie Mae gives when she is happily surprised at something?   Because Andrew and Corynn bear those very same expressions every day?  Because those purple/pink flowers are the first posies to bloom in my flower circle?  Because those wisps of white crowning a pale little bud of a girl?  Probably all of the above.

 How was your Mother's Day weekend?

I spent my Mother's Day gathering armload after arm load of not-quite-opened lilacs into the house and into vases to spread around the house.  I've been looking so forward to lilacs which I haven't enjoyed in ever so long (last years' were zapped by a late frost before they even came close to blossoming) and whose smell happens to be one of my most favorites.  Tonight is supposed to be a killing frost which makes me so sad!  Tonight I will gather all the tarps and blankets I can find and try to cover the lilacs and apple blossoms up but just in case, I have plenty of vases scattered around the house. It is snowing at this very minute. 

Snow in May.  Ridiculous.

And as I plucked baby flowers to save them from a cruel fate...I pondered.

After the last few weeks and all the anxiety of not knowing what was wrong with me  (and assuming the WORST, naturally), I spent my Mothers' Day a bit more reflective than in previous years.  Being a mother is such a joy and such a gift- but with that gift and that joy there is a deep commitment and responsibility that is...dare I say it?... daunting.  As I was considering (what I deemed to be) imminent death, all I could focus on were all the things I SHOULD have done.  I felt gripping fear as I considered "Have I done enough to train my children to love the Lord?  Have I been a good witness to them, a good testament of Christ?  Have I prepared them for life without me but with Christ?  Has my life helped or hindered the gospel in my childrens' lives?"  It is scary to know that there is only so much time to do what you are meant to.  Oil lamps aren't always at the ready.  Sometimes we just get lazy.  Sometimes we just get tired.  Sometimes, the schoolwork or the housework or the yardwork or the ANYTHING gets more attention than the most important things.

When you are a mother, every single day is a gift, but also an obligation.  And knowing that I am put in charge of God's children and have only so much time to do what needs to be done, adds a certain fervor to the equation.  May God grant us mothers unending love and compassion to fulfill our calling, eyes open and grateful hearts for the love and blessings that the Lord has poured out for us,  also wisdom overflowing and a zeal to live for Him and to do His work. 

That is, after all, why we are here.

No other success in life-not being president, or being wealthy, or going to college, or anything else- comes up to the success of man and woman who can feel that they have done their duty and that their children and grandchildren rise up and call them blessed.  

                                                                    ~~Theodore Roosevelt

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

It has been several weeks since I linked up with {P.H.F.R} so I thought it was high time to do it again.

Before I do, though, I have to say- THANK YOU for all of your who chimed in with encouraging words about my new health issues and especially, for any prayers lifted up on my behalf.  I appreciate them so much and have read and re-read through the comments a shameful amount of times.  As many of you said, I am trying to ease my way back/find my new "normal".  This may mean less blogging, as I try to take unnecessary things off my plate OR it may mean you see MORE of me- as I find myself with more 'leisure time' BECAUSE I have taken things off my plate.  Either way, I am sitting down a lot more these days and precariously close to becoming a lazy bum.  :-)  I have many people saying 'don't over do it!' so I think it will be highly unlikely that I could, even if I should want to.

Thank you.

Now, on to Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real.  Because I know you were waiting with bated breathe...

{Pretty}

 

My sister-in-law picked a gorgeous get-well bouquet from her yard and brought it to me, along with dinner for the family.  Lovely.  The flowers and the gesture.

{Happy}

 

Ever since the foundation work, I have wanted a sidewalk.  The winter found me slipping on ice mound, the spring found me sliding on mud mound and then recently, Matt made me a sidewalk.  I am so HAPPY about this sidewalk, you have no idea.  

{Funny}



My poor seedlings.  They have had a miserable time of things this year and yet they trudge through.  Though I bought the supplies I never did get my lighting shelf.  (Lucky Bonnie!)  Then, despite my better judgement, I used popsicle sticks to marker plant types instead of writing it right on the cardboard like I usually do.  All for the sake of a picture too.  (Vanity!)  Well, within two days a certain two-year old had plucked all the sticks from their respective spots and left me with a pile 'o' plants unnamed.  That was irritating (more than a bit.)  The latest torture my poor seedlings have had to endure came at the hands of said two-year-old again...this time as he laughingly plucked their heads off.  And no, not just one or two.

I put this in the FUNNY spot because I know that SOMEDAY it will be funny....like when I am 95.  Remind me to laugh then, okay?

I am probably going to be buying more plants than I thought this year.  Like, all of them.  (This is me- letting go of things.)

{Real}

 

After one of my hospital visits and before the children came back home, I laid on a blanket in the beautiful warm sun while Matt mowed the lawn and promptly fell asleep, during which time my unaccustomed winterskin went into sun shock.  Please, no comments about skin cancer.  I know sunburns are bad.  Very bad.  I didn't mean to do it.  I didn't want to do it.  I don't LIKE being the butt of the 'what's red, white and ___________" jokes.  I won't do it again.  (Cue Matt's laughter in background.)  But it seems I am incapable of welcoming spring without at least one fire-engine red burn.  Argh.  

Feeling like a Ladybird

 
What a crazy five days it has been.

We were expecting company on Thursday.  You know them- the family whose barn burned down- and were so excited to get to see them.  Matt took off work on Thursday and Friday so that we could have a good looong weekend of visiting and fun.  The house was cleaned.  The sheets were all fresh.  Much of the food was ready (so I could spend more time visiting and less time working).  All was set. 

And then I had to go and screw EVERYTHING up with two emergency room visits!



It has been an emotional five days, a SCARY five days... an EXHAUSTING five days.  And I didn't even have a weekend of good company to show for it!

I have explained the ordeal(s) a million times to a million doctors/nurses/family members and I just can't bear to re-live the torture.  So let's just suffice it to say, Matt and I have endured two episodes that had us both thinking 'heart attack' even though 'heart attack' and '30 years old' don't quite seem to fit together in the same sentence.

In five days I have gone from feeling great to feeling like I was going to die, from feeling excited to feeling utter despair as I tried to mentally prepare myself and Matt for getting along without me, from being strong to being so weak that I could do nothing but shake like a leaf and stare blankly off into nothingness.  It has been a scary ride. 



Turns out, my 'episodes' were NOT heart attacks and for that good news I am extremely thankful.  (Understatement alert!)  My heart is apparently fine, among other things.  (I was tested for quite a few things and all were gratefully returned back to me with fine and dandy results.)

But I do have to make some changes to my life and I am not sure how that is going to flow since everything in my life that I DO, I enjoy doing.  (Except, you know, cleaning toilets and washing dishes- but these, I suppose, ARE necessary.)  I want to be physically ABLE to do everything I always do- but I don't feel very much like it these days.  Knowing just how different I am from my 'normal' is the scariest part (now that I know I am not going to die, that is.)


I am left in unfamiliar territory.  I feel kinda like I am teetering like this little ladybird, not sure where to go from here-so just holding on for dear life.  I am feeling very weak (when I am used to being strong) and very lazy (when I am used to being hard-working) and very afraid that those 'used to be's' might not become 'once agains'. 

Weakness is a not a good attribute to have when there is a garden to put in...

 

Living

 

 

Isn't it easy to take living for granted?  To assume, even subconsciously, that you are in control of your life?  That if you eat well and drive well and exercise well and do everything *just so* that you are making your life better/longer/controlled?  And when we live as if we have ANYTHING at all to do with living, we lose the opportunity to see the huge gift that living REALLY is.

My birthday is coming up- I will be 31.  31 years old is young.  At first thought, 31 is TOO young to worry about things like, oh, DEATH.  But on the other hand, my life is 31 years longer than I could have had...

Reminders like these are often unpleasant, but even THEY are gifts....because I can look at my children, my husband, the grass getting mowed, salamander pets, smoke swirls, and petals in glass and see them for what they are...things I may not get tomorrow. 

Life is a gift.  I have opened up millions of moments that I never deserved and I hope to open millions more.   And if I don't, then I still can't complain.  Life isn't fair.  Because FAIR means I never would have had any of it.

Life is GOOD.

Easterly

A few weeks ago we hosted a post-Easter Easter party with my side of the family. My brothers weren't able to be there (*sniff*  We missed them!) but pretty much everyone else was. I took very few photos but here they are.

The table before more food arrived.  Hot foods and drinks were elsewhere.

Thank you Aldi, for your fancy cheeses. 

These chocolate bunnies are actually two Easters old.  I bought them before Easter two years ago to give to my children in lieu of Easter baskets and then, didn't for whatever reason.  Then this Easter they were sick.  So I used them as decorations at the post Easter Easter instead.  The children ate them for snack later in the week.  Food for thought: they look and taste as good as ever even two years old.  This is creepy to me.  Very creepy.

I have no pictures of my own children. 

Aletta and Cassandra were apparently more appealing subjects at the time.  :-)

My nephew Samuel got a birthday present.  Most of the children at this point were outside playing.

But clearly, my children have present radar.  PS.  Now you know my not-quite-as-hidden-as-I-thought hiding spot for the orange bouncy ball when it is not in use.  (oops.)

Two of Aletta, looking sweet in a rocking chair and sunshine.

My own version of a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.  I made it for my Mom, whose birthday was the next day.  She doesn't LOVE cake, so an ICE CREAM cake was a good solution.  And this one was DE-LISH.

Since I last blogged.

You know you have been away from blogging too long when your husband asks you (for the fifth time) why you haven't posted anything new.  Yes, this post is thanks to Matt and his nagging gentle prodding to get a blog post up already!

 (I love the fact that he checks my blog, so it follows then, that I love the fact that he nags prods me about it too.) I can't help but chuckle when I remember how, at the start of this blog, I wrote that I would not, could not, never ever in a million years shall not talk to my husband through my blog.  How the mighty have fallen.

 

I love you Mattie.  *muah*

 We have been entertaining quite often lately which requires planning food, cleaning up the place, making food, entertaining, and cleaning up the place again and all this cleaning/food making takes time you know.  Then of course, the weather has been beyond lovely which beckons one outdoors...

But the true culprit of my lackadaisical blogging has been that I am simultaneously enjoying three excellent books all at once.  A good book is a stealer of time, THREE good books are impossible!  My precious few "free" moments are swallowed up in the turning of one page or another and I love it.  I do love a good book.  (Incidentally, I have a separate BOOKS blog post in the works, where I can blather on about all the goodness I've discovered and it will be coming soon!)

I really am BEHIND on picture-blogging though.  Since I last wrote:  This scene, taken just a week or so ago, is entirely different.  Pleasant, soft and GREEN.  Spring, spring- I love you so.

In other happy news- some time last summer I found a recipe for "Fake pineapple" made from zucchini.  I was super excited at the prospect of using zucchini in a new way but I won't say I wasn't also a bit pessimistic as I was canning it up.  Verdict is in, though, and it is GREAT!  I used it to make Ham and (fake) Pineapple pizza for pizza night a few weeks ago and I promise you- no one had a CLUE it was fake pineapple!!!  I found the idea/recipe was here.

Since I last blogged I made a new batch of soap. Probably my favorite so far, this one is scented Lemon Verbena.  In one batch I added dried Lemon Verbena, hoping all the books were wrong and that the herb wouldn't turn brown.  It was an experiment- and it FAILED miserably.    Guess the books were right and if I want to add herbs I will have to rebatch.  *Sniff*  I hate the idea of making the same soap TWICE.

The other half, instead of adding herbs, I added this sparkle powder a friend had a bunch of.  Just to see what it would do.  It is pretty but only appeared in the top inch of the soap.  Ah well.

Even though the "looks" of the soap aren't as GLAMOROUS  as I had hoped, it is by far the most delicious smelling soap I have ever smelled.  Oh.My.

 Since my last blog post, the daffodils and narcissus POPPED.

Last week it was wonderfully warm and later this week it should be also- but today is dreary and chilly.  Days like this I wish we had a furnace I could just push a button on to get the chill out and then be done with it.  Who wants the trouble of starting a fire and bringing in wood for ONE day?!?    Instead, I made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for lunch.  When the plates were set at the table, every hand immediately went to the bowl to get warmed up.  It was too funny.

So there ya have it.  Not QUITE up to date, but it is a good first step!

Hi Mattie!  I blogged!

Hi everyone else! I am still here! 

How are things in your neck of the woods?