Edited to Add: I wanted to thank everyone for their comments yesterday in regards to this post. Your well-wishes and empathy were tremendously heartening to me. Perhaps it is silly, but everyone's assurances that I wasn't dumb really did make me feel better. Being married to a Farmboy through and through means he really doesn't "get" the whole crying over a cat thing. He was compassionate at first, but by the end of the night was making fun of me. Course, by the end of the night, I was making fun of myself, so flabberghasted was I!)
I was glad (once again) for the different kind of support I get through the thoughtful friends who visit me here. Thank you.
Yesterday when I was canning (what was supposed to be) a boatload of apples, I found our kitten-cat dead. I had been searching for her all morning, calling her name-walking around the property. The fact that she didn't come when I called her worried me more than I can say, since she would always RACE to us when we called (if she wasn't already by the door!) So I would call her every few minutes. Check the windows again and again.
Finally I found her.
I don't know what happened-not a trace of foulplay.
Ever since, I have been a big 'ole bawl baby. I stopped canning because I just couldn't anymore.
It's just she was so stinkin' sweet. Really personable. and she was always AROUND me.
If I was in the garden, she would come too.
If I were hanging clothes, there she was.
If I were blogging, she would be purring, curled up in my lap or when I was reading a book on the patio.
If I were reading to the children on the counch, she would crawl up my belly and lay herself under my chin for a snooze. It tickled and was cumbersome-but I loved it.
If she was outside, she would race in the moment the door was open.
If I laid a picnic blanket outside, she would be the first one on it.
The children, thankfully, didn't take it too hard. They certainly have handled it better than me.
I fear I am not that great of a country wife after all, if I get so emotional about an animal. I'm really dumb.
I wouldn't be sad about chickens. Or even Jed. But Sarah? She was a sweet part of our everyday and her only purpose was to be with us.
It's really dumb that I am so upset over her. But I am.
And for some reason, I can't stop crying.
IT'S JUST A CAT, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!