Public Penance and Personal Revelation

 Blogs are wonderful in a lot of ways.

They are also TERRIBLE in a lot of ways.  

Like when I happen to reread what I wrote years ago and inwardly groan at my own hubris or naivete or lack of grace or __fill-in-the-blank-foolishness____.

I happened to look back upon a post many years ago in which I said some pretty unapologetic (rude!) things about the kind of people who would allow messes to explode on their watch.  How they lacked godly stewardship.  In that blog post of yesteryear, I may have even said "There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for it."

Granted, I was likely grumpy from spending hours cleaning up someone elses' mess in an old barn and the exhaustion/frustration was speaking at that point.

But WoW.  Just wow.

Turns out...

 I got myself a Granary of my own.  And I got myself a handful of children of my own.  And life kindof exploded for a bit.  (And, I like to think that maybe I even grew up and into a bit more compassion and grace for my fellow man.)

After my public chastisement of 'those sorts' of people a dozen years ago, my penance today shall be my own public shame and humility.   Apparently, I am one of "THOSE" sorts of people, after all.

Most of the 'before' photos were deleted, including of the top floor, but I salvaged this single photo of the lower level from a message thread to a friend who shares a certain kinship with and compassion for Overwhelming Projects of DOOM. (OPODs, for short.)

Here is the bottom floor, in all its' glory...

It took weeks to finish because I decided if I was going to do it, I was going to do it RIGHT.  I would also go through each and every bin stored in there to throw away/give away/burn/donate as much as I could.

The eyebrows were raised as people drove past and, no doubt, we were the topic of dinner conversations for quite some time.  I had to sheepishly make a sign of my shame for all the prying eyes... and more than one person asked about it being a yard sale.

But weeks later, it felt pretty stinkin' good to be stewarding myself back into a clean and organized Granary.

Here is the 'after' of the lower level:

And, the top floor, which housed leftover furniture that just doesn't fit in the house but has sentimental value (and some rugs free from the side of the road), became a  playhouse/hangout spot, made just a wee bit magical with some Christmas lights hung from the ceiling.

My message today, a dozen years from that embarrassingly stonehearted post, is this (and it is to ME too)...

Life can get away from you.  Life can get messy.  And if you have failed to do what needed to be done, for whatever reason, it just doesn't do to dwell on what is done.  Maybe you've made a mess of things.  (Like me.)  

Just roll up your sleeves.  Take one step at a time and do a tiny bit better.  And then don't stop.  

Glory will come.

Sunflowers and the State of Things

This is the state of my life right now:

I made the executive decision to tackle cleaning out our Granary.  I didn't want to.  What I WANTED to do was ignore it forever.  (Possibly burn it down.)  

But when your entire families' fall/winter clothes are in there, buried under 4 feet of STUFF and the air is turning brisk and the leaves are beginning to blush, you know it simply must be done.

It was in a shameful state.  

I worked on it every day last week and this week will be consumed by it as well.  I am essentially bringing every.single.thing out of the Granary.  Washing it up (it's disgusting).  Sorting out things to burn, things to trash, things to donate, things to give to others, things to save.  Packing it all back away in a more thoughtful and organized way.

Every.single.thing is being touched.  Quite a few times, in fact.  It's been an exhausting time of sweat, dust, cobwebs, rodents, nastiness and lots and lots of heavy lifting.  It's also been an emotional rollercoaster.  Sorting through baby bins and memories and once upon a times can be hard.

And all under the watchful eye of travelers driving along our road.  (It's mortifying watching the people slow down to gauk.)

But here is the thing!  It is going to be GREAT when it's done.  SO, so great.  

I even have hopes that it might even stay that way.  If I get rid of enough stuff, right?! (I know.  Wishful thinking.)

I've wanted to blog all summer.  I have loads of photos to catch up on.  But as with homeschooling, the clothing switcheroo, and even sometimes meals... everything must wait until THE GRANARY IS DONE.

But I thought I would just pop on here quickly to say hello to the few faithful readers of ye olde blog.(Hello Corynn!  I love you!!)  And while I am here, I figure why not plunk up a bit of sunshine while I am at it?  We all could use some! 

(These photos are from a nearby farm/creamery and taken on a day I got together with my Mom and some sisters.)

 

We all have our own trenches this week to be in.  We might be covered in dust, grime, sweat and mouse guts (or maybe that's just me).  Or maybe you find yourself in the trenches of loneliness, despair, homeschooling, overwhelm, pain and suffering, financial ruin, empty cupboards, hurt feelings or pining for things the Lord has chosen not to give.  Or wondering at the things that Lord has chosen to give that feel like they are breaking you.

Hard and messy things are hard and messy... but they are also often the things that produce the most fruit.

Gratitude is the antidote to so many of the problems in our lives.  If not the antidote, certainly a strategy that the Lord has given His people to strengthen us to endure and overcome.

 I'm thankful for sunflowers.  They aren't in my life today... but they were.  And it was beautiful.  

I need to be more thankful for things that were.  

And now- I need to get back to the Granary so I can bear more fruit.  😁

A Granary Project

Grandma and Grandpa took the four older children to a museum, leaving a string of several hours for me to get some Christmas crafting done.  Provided, of course, that Ineke takes a good nap.  (Please do, Babycakes.)  

And while I am working away in the dining room (it is too COLD to sew up in the Spare Oom, my usual spot) on my Christmas projects, you can see one of Matt's recent projects...

I told you he'd find something to do with that lumber...

And guess what?  There is still plenty more lumber where that came from.

The Granary Project: Upstairs!

My big summer project is done!

Cleaning out the Granary has been a big deal!  I knew it was going to be.  It has happened little by little, one floor at a time...but it is finally done!

It is the storage barn mostly since there is no other storage area available.  (You people with attics and basements- be thankful!) But Matt said if I got it cleaned out, I could do with it whatever I wanted...so you know, despite the storage, I had to add my own touch to it! 

Here is a recap of what the upper floor looked like when I began:

After bags and bags donated to Salvation Army, passing things along, tossing things in the garbage, burning things, selling stuff at a yard sale, consolidating and organizing... here it is today:

I had hoped to bring out a few bins of craft supplies to free up the cluttered office.  And then the rocking horse really should go because the bedrooms are too small and no one really uses it anymore.  And then, Corynn asked if I get the vanity out of her room because it takes up too much space (yep-small rooms!) and then I looked at my beautiful Matt-made cradle that hasn't rocked any babies in almost four years and thought "Why is this still in the house-reminding me it is empty?" so I brought that out too.  (I admit- there were tears.)

As I brought things out- it began to look almost...homey.

As it began to look homey, I began to become more excited about it.  I decided to go all out and hang curtains (that I bought at Salvation Army for a song a LONG time ago with intentions to put them up in the living room but never actually did) to hide the storage and make it actually, kinda pretty.

Everything up here was taken from around Hopestead...I didn't buy a thing.  Just moved things here and there.

The lights were the cherry on top of the whole thing and actually light- as opposed to when they were hanging by our picnic trees.

Some day I'd like to be able to move that dresser and trunk and get Matt to build me a railing by the stairs instead.

Some day SOONER I'd like to add a window to the stairs side and switch the window it has on the other side to one that opens- the only thing this place needs is some fresh air.

 That would make it just about perfect in my book.

Anyone up for a rustic Granary stay over?  

Aglow

I love that eerie glow after an evening storm.  First, it is a bright yellow green and then the whole sky turns orange-ish and with it, everything else it touches, then finally, right before giving up to the darkness, it fades into pink.  As the song says, I love a rainy night.  I don't need the glowing aftermath to love it, but that glow has the tendency to draw me outside, standing in the yard~ bare feet soaked, head raised heavenward, turning round and round at the beauty of the sky.

This ever-changing, revolving world is so glorious.  Every day there is something new to take my breath away.

I have lots of things to tell you- lots of 'Hopestead Happenings' that I am eager to share here.

One big one: the GRANARY is completely done!  I finished the upstairs over the weekend and I'm so excited to show you some pictures.  Spoiler:  You can TOTALLY see floor! (I'll do that this week.  Promise.)

Another big one: Matt is working on a project that has been on my "Oh, I wish I had one.  Matt will you make one for me, please?!?" list for a few years.  I won't tell you what it is just yet but here is a little teaser:







 I can tell you... so far, it has exceeded my wildest expectations.  I'm thrilled beyond words!

Okay- maybe that isn't a lot after all~maybe it is only two things... but it seems like a lot since they are biggish things that have been on my mind for a very long time.

Because I am incapable of focusing on more than one large task at a time, the days I spent working in the upper floor of the Granary allowed just enough distraction for the entire house to become entirely trashed. (I say that a lot- don't I?  Well, either my house gets trashed easily or I have a low tolerance for stuff out of place... probably both.)  And I was too busy to even care.  We moved some furniture and bins out to the Granary to hopefully unclutter my life (since this winter I felt so cluttered and claustrophobic of STUFF upstairs) and so there is furniture out of whack and things that need to be put right again.  Plus, boxes of sentimental stuff that I found in the Granary strewn throughout the living room and the evidence of  four childrens' imaginations left unchecked for several days... it's gonna be a big job.

Two days of rain, today and tomorrow, is just the impetus I need to get this house in ship-shape again.  The living room was finished this morning- mopped, furniture-polished, swept... the whole she-bang.  I needed one spot to feel right- and, just in case any random visitors popped by...the living room seemed the place to start.  This afternoon... the office.  I'm particularly excited about the office because it is much emptier now and, once done, will be...downright spacious.

At least, that is the hope.

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

~ G.K.Chesterton