The Evolution of a Smile

It begins with bright eyes... 

then the tongue starts working...

 

corners start to creep...

here it comes...it's working its' way out...

Whoop!  There it is!

But you haven't fully arrived until you see...

the telltale eye squint. 

And all of the sudden...

the world is a much brighter, happier place.

Bowls are Not for Bathing

Ineke seems so small...but when I got out the cute red and white enamel washbin for her first at-home bath, I realized she clearly ISN'T.  She wasn't shy in showing her disgust either.

For the record, she loves baths now that her Mama gives her a more spacious SINK instead of a cereal bowl in which to bathe.

A Handful of Things

The kitchen being this cleared was entirely due to this apron-wearing, wooden spoon wielding man of a man.  I miss him now that he left me for work again.  Sniff.

The sweetling is 3 weeks old today.  (Well, yesterday, when I wrote this!) I can't believe it.   She is such a dear girl- already basically sleeping through the night (10-4:30 ish most nights and waking up once if I put her to bed earlier than that) and still sleeping most of the day too.  She peeks out from behind her eyelids to check things out occasionally- but still, mostly with a squint.  She is such a contented little thing.  But even her wails don't bother me at all or stress me out- this, I think, is the gift of a longed-for and waited-for child.  I feel so incredibly blessed to get to hear those sounds at all, they stir up in me only joy and immense gratitude.  They make me happy.

I spend as many moments I can muster of my days trying to soak up her fleeting expressions and stretches and they are never, ever enough.  Her little puckers and when she sticks her tongue out.  The feel of her warm little hand on my chest, her fuzzy little head nuzzled under my chin (she loves that spot.  me too.).  Baby breathing, heavy and quick.  I wonder at the teeny foot that can be massaged with a single thumb and the wrinkles of her hand and her dainty little fingers.  I love the chubby fat at the back of her neck and her dream smiles, glimpses of what the real thing will be like.    I clutch these moments desperately because I know how quickly they are gone.  

After a blissful two weeks off, Matt went back to work last week and real life began.  I have discovered that real life is harder to get back into than I remember with a new baby, even a most contented one like Ineke.  We still have Christmas cards waiting to be mailed.  We are still, three weeks in, incapable of arriving anywhere on time.  The day ends with basket-loads of laundry still to be folded and science still left undone.  And, though not exactly a need but certainly a want, a blog stands too quiet for too long.

Penny (the cow) is producing such quantities of milk now I have to use at least five gallons of milk a day in order to have clean gallon jars available for the next milking.  That means, daily cheese and butter making on top of the laundry, the schooling, the cooking, the cleaning, the nursing, the snuggling, the thank you note writing, the taking down of Christmas and every other thing ToDo.  In the last two weeks or so I have made and gifted to friends and family 24 balls of mozzarella, 25 rolls of cinnamon honey butter and 6 rounds of queso blanco.   In two weeks.  This of course, is not including the cheese and butter and yogurt we have kept for ourselves.  The cheese & butter making is time-consuming, but the constant state of dirty dishes is the most frustrating.  There are some nights I think- if I have to wash this enormous pot ONE MORE TIME today I am going to SCREAM.    It did make for convenient gift-giving this year...but now that the spreading of good cheer (and milk products) is over ... that quantity of milk products being consumed by this family alone will result in me never.ever.ever losing my baby weight.  EVER.  

I have always been over-motivated to get things done.  (This does not mean that I actually get huge quantities of things done- but that I am motivated to *think* about getting them done!)  I make to-do lists that fill entire pages in notebooks and those are things I hope to accomplish in one day.  These days, however, I am finding myself content to get done just a handful of things.  I feel very accomplished if at the end of the day, those things are complete.  And "those things" require no list.  They are the most necessary things. Milk making-at least a bit.  Schooling- a bit more, but still not nearly where we should be.  A load of laundry- washed AND folded.  Filling bellies, large and small.  And then, maybe, one or two snippets of other things a day.  Paying a few bills.  Taking down bits of Christmas.  Writing a few thank-you notes.  And that's it.  That is all I can muster.  IF I AM LUCKY.  If I am particularly productive that day.  Strangely, I feel completely satisfied with this.  I know this feeling of satisfaction will not continue forever and being able to get by accomplishing only a handful of things a day  is completely unsustainable but for now, I feel pretty proud of those handful of things.

A new year- 2016. I love the fresh start.  I love the looking back to see how I have done on my goals for the previous year. I love looking ahead and coming up with new goals for the new year.  It's my thing.  But this year, this moment, I don't feel like looking ahead or looking back.  I am sure it may come eventually, when I can wrap my head around the hugeness of a new year before me.  But, for now, I just want to stay in this moment with this teeny Tiddle squeaking in her sleep and laying peacefully and heavy upon my chest.  

These moments, I wish they could last forever.

In the Hospital

I had hoped for a homebirth this time around.  I tried my best to find a homebirth midwife for months after finding out I was pregnant- but the only one within two hours was certified for NY and not for PA.  She was in the process of getting her PA licensing but it wouldn't be done until early December at best.  So I got regular prenatal care with a hospital midwife with the hopes that the certification would go through by the time Tiddle would come and we could switch to a homebirth last minute.

I called the week before Tiddle arrived and the paperwork still hadn't come through.  It seemed the Lord wanted to me to have a hospital birth after all.

This was a bit of a stresser for me, having been seven minutes shy of delivering on the highway last time and feeling quite sure that it would happen this time around.  Waiting for Matt to get home from work (an hour drive at best) and then a trip to the hospital (45 minutes at best) seemed like a highway baby might be inevitable if the labor was a short-lived as my previous one.

Praise God, He worked everything out perfectly.  Matt had taken the week off of work so he was home- and there was no need to wait for his hour-long commute to bring him home when it was time. And, despite the drive, we made it to the hospital...though it was a pretty intense drive!

I had had several nights of serious contractions that we thought were 'it' but after HOURS, they eventually stopped.  It is a very discouraging thing to believe you are in labor only for all progress to stop.  By my due date, I was very despairing indeed.  Tuesday the contractions began as they had several times before.  Around 11ish, Matt and I were playing checkers and eating tomato soup when I realized that when it was my turn, I was having a hard time concentrating on my next move.  I may or may not have won that game.  We may or may not have even finished it.  I don't really recall.

We called Matt's parents at 1:30 to come and get the children.  My contractions were five minutes apart at that point and very painful.  I didn't care if it was false labor at that point.  I just needed to go for my own sanity.  We left to go to the hospital.  We forgot the diaper bag.  We forgot the carseat.  We remembered the camera. ;-)

We arrived at the hospital and started for the elevator the very moment Matt's twin brother John (who works at the hospital) was walking out of the very same elevator.  I could barely concentrate on anything through the pain of the contractions but I remember thinking at the time (and have thought many times since) how the Lord used that moment to ground me in Him.  It was one of those small things that pointed so clearly to His perfect timing...every thing, every moment is determined and ordained by Him.  John could have left seconds before.  We could have arrived seconds later.  But....the Lord.  He used John to remind me that everything was going just according to His plan, which was a great comfort to me.

We got up into the room after a very hurried wheelchair ride to labor and delivery!  The nurse was practically running I think.  My eyes were closed most of the time but I remember opening them twice.  Once to see a nurse.  Once to see the on call midwife.  Just a glance at their faces.

And Ineke was born 15 minutes later.

The nurses all couldn't believe I had delivered just 15 minutes after arriving.  I couldn't believe I had made it to the hospital!

She was 8 lbs 15 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long.  Everyone who has seen Ineke has said she is a nice, big baby but after Judah, she seems like a teeny little doll to me.  Joy!

She was a champion nurser from the get-go and a champion pooper too but because Ineke was born so speedily, I had bleeding problems and she had choking issues from the amniotic fluid left in her lungs.  It was a bit worrisome in places but all has been made right at this point and we are both doing very well.  Very well, indeed.

The children are over the moon.  The boys had wanted another boy pretty badly so I was worried that they may be disappointed- but one look at their faces as they held their little sister calmed any fears of that.  Not sure they could have been more smitten!

And that is the story, though short and sweet, of how Ineke came to be!