What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~ Martin Luther

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A 26 1/2 week pout

I have had an emotional few weeks.

Not so much with the baby, just with...life. There has been emotional trauma (er, I mean drama) in the world, here at home, and at church (the saddest of all).

The drama at home? I have nothing to wear. You laugh, you laugh. But trust me-a woman who has just hit a huge weight milestone, whose belly (and double chin) gets larger by the day needs to have SOMETHING to wear that makes her feel less like a whale trying to squeeze into a sardine can and more like... a woman.

I decided at the start of this pregnancy that I was going to get rid of all the frumpy things I never wear anyway, things usually handed down or bought at yard sales out of desperation (because why unpack, clutter up the closet and then repack clothes that you never wore?) so I did. Meanwhile, I had to pack all the clothes away that no longer fit. Since the maternity clothes I have, I have had for three children prior, let's just say ain't no way I have the body I had at #1.

The result of said purge is this:

Sadly, several of those shirts are not maternity (and I will not be able to squeeze into them for much longer). I will say, I have a handful (one) of skirts/dresses that are still wearable hanging on hangers. Three of which Matt loathes. (Can anyone say Mumu, or rather MooMoo?)

So-why not go out and buy myself a new wardrobe? Well.

First of all, money doesn't grow on trees. (Duh)

But primarily~ the maternity clothes that I DO find, do not fit properly. I have a very long torso and a very large bust, making all those cutesy maternity tops too short for my torso and the princess-line busts falling just above my neck (only a *slight* exaggeration.) My legs, too, are extremely long, making all those pretty feminine "dresses" into something much more like shirts.

So why not sew some? Well.

Though I have tried, countless times, to make myself flattering things-I have YET to succeed. I have a weird body (I hate it), and I am not skilled enough to modify patterns to suit my regular body, let alone my maternity body. I have to admit, it is with a tremendous amount of fear that I even consider sewing for myself. Thus far, it has only proven to be a waste of time, energy, fabric and money. blech. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. Wish me luck.

Though it seems a trivial, superficial concern~clothing oneself is still a rather necessary part of life. ;-)

The journey into whaledom with lack of whale coverage, coupled with the much more potent stresses surrounding me has pretty much turned me into a blubbering crybaby. Let's just say, Matt hasn't had to shower in several weeks. Worse yet, there are days when I can't even muster a tear, rather, I just go about life with dull eyes and a sullen face-and that is when I KNOW I am in trouble. That girl is not me. The fact that pregnancy hormones are likely affecting my abilities to cope, while likely true, is not very comforting.

It has been quite a ride for everyone and I am eternally grateful for the compassion Matt heaps on me and for the forgiveness he shows me when I unfairly "unload the truck" on him.

There. I have no clothes. I have mounds of stress. Now that I have adequately whined, let's talk about the good stuff, shall we?

The reason I have no clothes is because my belly grows rounder with life. A big belly is a great feat and a great gift, felt even moreso after the scare. Here is my last photo, at 20 weeks. I can see a big difference in belly size--

---and from this picture, it looks like Rebecca size might have dwindled a bit.


Now:Had to get a picture on my lover-ly patio, my favorite place to be, next to the beauteous hanging honey basket I told you all about. It's called Snow Princess, and I believe it is alyssum.

Here she is in all her glory...

Finally, at 26 weeks, I buckled down and made a prenatal appointment. None of the midwives believed I knew what I was talking about (as far as the due date) so they ordered an ultrasound.

I didn't complain. Ultrasounds are one of my favorite things in life. This one was the best one yet, sadly it was the first one Matt missed.

It is a miraculous, amazing thing to watch the foot that is kicking you while you feel it kicking and to watch the fingers as you feel their scrape. It is awe-inspiring to see your baby drinking it's own amniotic fluid~ as his/her mouth opens and closes, opens and closes. Nothing can describe the pure joy as you watch the child within shaking his/her head while playing with the umbilical cord. All these things I watched.

It took my breath away and gave me joy I haven't known or felt in weeks. I only mourned that Matt couldn't experience it too.

Something amazing happens when you hear the heartbeat of your child within. All of a sudden, the child you have loved since the beginning takes on a whole new dimension and your love multiplies exponentially, though you didn't think it could.

Here is Smooch's first picture, a great one if you know what you are looking it.

Matt couldn't figure out what he was looking at, so in desperation, I drew him this quick sketch to help him figure it out. He didn't.

But maybe it will help you.

For the record, I have never CLAIMED to be an artist, so don't judge my incompetence. ;-)

I say, this child sure is a cutie! (The real one, not the drawing!)

Oh, and by the way, I amazed all the midwives by getting the due date DOWN TO THE DAY.


August 27th it is.




MameyJane said...

Girl, I wish I lived close to you. I just got BAGS of maternity clothes out of the attic, because I need the room for other stuff. I have tons of tops, skirts, and dresses (I don't wear pants/shorts) that I was wishing I could find a good home for.

It's a possibility that I may be needing maternity clothes again soon (shhh, it's a secret), but if so, I won't need them until cooler weather. They are all L/XL/XXL, but in my opinion, the bigger the better when you're SWOLE :).

I hope your spirits lift soon. Don't forget, you can "Cast your cares upon HIM for He careth for you."

p.s. I hope no one who knows me personally reads your blogs :) (slim chance).

Lana said...

smooch is just beautiful, and your drawing was very good too :)
I'm sorry about your clothes prob. Been there but got out of it thanks to my mom :)
She found a shirt at a thrift store that worked for me and I liked the style, but it was too short to wear the whole pregnancy.
Why do they make maternity shirts that won't cover your whole belly? Ugh. Other than that, this shirt was great. It was a tunic style designed to go over a tank, but it could go over a long sleeve shirt too so it was versatile. I LOVED it :)

So we went to the fabric store, bought enough to make several shirts, and she made a pattern from the first, and we made a bunch of shirts from that pattern only longer, and I wore those suckers out over the summer. I only wish we'd bought better quality fabric as only one or two will be decent for the next pregnancy. We didn't realize that it would keep shrinking or that it would fade and lose it's shape so fast.

She's got the pattern somewhere though, so when God blesses me and Luke again, momma and I will probably pull it back out and hit the fabric store again.

Bonnie said...

My whine exactly. Tops that fit last time, are barely covering my stomach at the moment. And the next size up looked like a circus tent. Blah.

On the other hand, despite not having anything that fits, you are the picture of all that is good and beautiful in your pregnant state. Really, slim with a cute belly. I won't tell you what my weight was today, but rest assured I am leaving you in the dust. (It was kind nauseating, but I haven't been eating junk, so I'm not sure what the deal is).
I love your sketch of Smooch, I can't even draw a decent stick person.

25 weeks tomorrow here. Alls good, and no name. Maybe we'll just call him Four.

Marlene Bibby said...

That would be the most perfect day to have a baby - Hannah's and my birthday - August 27. See what you can do. :-) Hang in there sweetie. I think you look glorious. And not so huge. There is room to grow yet. I think the purple knit top looks so wonderful. Can you get the next size in those?

Rebecca said...

Mrs. Bibby~ thank you! I will try for that day---I know of FIVE people who share that birthday! An even SIX would do well! The shirt I am wearing is not a maternity shirt-it is a Walmart special in the largest size possible. (I looked) ;-)

I think I might try to copy the design though, because I like it.

Bonnie said...







A few thoughts, some look pretty easy.
I'm liking that last one, I might need to hit the thrift store now....
Sorry you'll have to cut and paste these!

Bonnie said...

One more thought: Take a pair of maternity pants or capris, and cut off the legs just above the crotch. Stitch the sides and hem a length of fabric, gather, and attach to the pants top. I actually have a pair of jeans someone gave me that are to short that I will be trying this with, so I'll let you know how it works.
The thrift store only seems to have maternity pants that are tiny, gigantic, or really short/snug fitting in the legs. At least the one I go to is that way. This may end up saving me headaches. Though it doesn't fix the shirt problem.

Jinger said...

I know everyone has already commented this, BUT I figure it will help to hear again. You look great... really. I was a basket case of emotion with my third (thank God for helpful husbands!) Sounds like your Matt is an anchor for you through this stressful time. What a gift!

Saying a prayer for Peace in your home & spirit today.

Rosemary said...

Rebecca, you look beautiful, truly.

I know it is important to not have to worry about what you will wear each day, so I hope you can figure out how to sew something that fits.

Sure enjoy your blog.

Chris said...

I can't find a private email for you anywhere. You know, I'm pretty sure we are about the same size and weird body type. I am done with my maternity clothes but haven't beared to part with them yet (baby is 19 months!) I would love to send them to you if you will send me an address.

I also still have the maternity patterns that worked well for me, if you'd like the #s.

email me! way2tyred @ gmail.com

Michelle H said...


You look like what I have longed to look like. You are a beautiful woman, with a miracle of life inside.

I don't quite understand the anxiousness of not having clothes that fit, seeing that the clothes I wore before I got married 12 years ago still fit......which many times have hurt my heart. I've had the opposite feelings, wishing I could actually wear maternity clothes. Thankfully though God has taught me that you don't need to wear maternity clothes to be a mother! My baby girl grew in my heart, not under it.

I pray that God will continue to bless you with health and a full term little treasure. Again, you look very beautiful!


Leah said...

Rebecca, I'm sorry that you don't have anything much to wear. I know just how you feel! With only 6 weeks left I have a handful of things that still fit. I'm sure I'll be wearing the same dress to church every week for the last few weeks. I'm anxious to look at the links Bonnie left for you!

And how beautiful/handsome your precious little Smooch is! I'll never grow tired of the joy of feeling/hearing/seeing my baby blessing during pregnancy. And I know you won't either. :) It won't be long now until we're both holding these sweet babies in our arms!

alyssa spring said...

Cutest baby belly ever!!!! So sorry about the clothes situation...I've been going through the same for the last couple of years...just this child bearing season in life. Wish I could see your size in person and then hook you up with some cute stuff from the consignment shop around here. What size are you in maternity clothes?

Jthemilker said...

You are beautiful and that fuscia color is a perfect color on you.

ulli said...

Rebecca, I think you're beautiful! Your new little blessing is adorable--such a miracle! I love reading about your life and family. You have such a love-heart. Thanks for blogging.

...they call me mommy... said...

Girl...I totally understand that no matter what anyone says you won't believe it...;) That's how I am anyway...but you LOOK GREAT!!! Like I said all I see is a beautiful person with a beautiful baby bump!!! And you arms....I'm so jealous of your pregnant arms! ;) HAHA! Bet you never heard that before, eh? Mine get GINORMOUS...your look awesome!

Let me give you a HUGE e-hug ((((HUG)))) I SO understand the NO clothing thing!!!!!


PS-I've been super grouchy and I'm not even pregnant!!!

Hollace said...

I really love the picture of your torso in the magenta top--the first one with just your feminine form. It is really beautiful!
I had 4 babies and then we adopted #5. Fortunately my mom-in-law sewed for me. The sad thing in my life now is to still be in those sizes without being pregnant! I wish I could say that's my problem!

Homeschoolmummyx3 said...

Rebecca, there have been many times when I've simply just not wanted to buy clothes at full price for my kids simply because we live out in the country. True to their nature, they climb trees and get in to mud puddles. I cringe when they get a new shirt splattered with something that I know will be difficult to get out. I find that I can rest easier with Freecycle clothes or yard sale stuff. It helps immensely. The only problem is that usually these items are not available (to my own eyes) when I need them. I remind myself of the lillies of the field and how they toil and spin not, but the Lord clothes them with splendor. He loves me (and you) so much more and He knows our needs. With small prayers said for God to fill our needs, before I know it, He's gone and done it. He does it in ways that could have knocked me over with a feather. This last time, my oldest needed a new swimming suit, but we couldn't find one at the end of the season. I found a lady on Freecycle who had clothes for my daughter with a few other things thrown in there. Little did I know, but there were 2 swimming suits in there for him!!!

God cares for you...let Him fill those needs by leaving it at the throne and forgetting about it. He's in the "knocking you over with a feather" business (not that anyone wants to knock you over with anything in your condition). ;)

Love you sweetie!


alane said...

You look beautiful, Rebecca. Pregnant women just have a certain glow about them, and you definitely show it well! What a blessing to be carrying a new life within!

Full of Grace said...

Thanks for the drawn illustration Rebecca- I can see smooch PERFECTLY now :) Cannot wait to see him/her in person :)

Wendy said...

Rebecca...you and I are not so far off in prego size I dont think...want to borrow some duds? Im not using them...they arent glamorous...but I have LOTS. Let me know.

jaya pratheesh said...


try the book. preview it in amazon, if you have an account there you cans ee a few projects from the book in the preview.

Sharon said...

What a lovely picture, smooch is definitely adorable and just perfect, How wonderful your drawing is too. I love your blog. Take care.