Saturday, October 01, 2011
Be it ever so humble
In a certain little town, if you drive down a certain little road you will come to a certain little hill
... and if you go to the top of that certain little hill you will see a certain little homestead~ well, the skeletal remains of its' glory days, anyway~
... and that homestead was where several generations of "Newman" toiled and laughed, fell in love and had babies, and put in a good honest days work every day God gave them.
It has history written on its doorposts.
It is where Grandpa Nathan worked his whole life away in order to have farms to give to all his children, farming with horses and long sleeve shirts and sweat. It is where Grandma Prince married Grandpa Leigh and had four babies, most within its' very walls. It is a place that saw the change of outhouses and peepots to indoor plumbing, it had to have a hole cut in its walls for one of those telephone machines and eventually housed a refrigerator. It has seen it all. It is also where my father-in-law sprayed painted GARY + LINDA as a boy in love on the barn wall.
And now, it will be home to a new generation of Newmans~ US and we will write our own history upon its walls. It will be Matts and my sweat that those 106 acres soak up, that we might have something to leave to OUR children.
That sweat and toiling isn't something that we can anticipate only in the future, however, but is something that is starting right now. Maybe now more than ever, in fact.
The only way we could afford such a place is to get a fixer upper. I have always known that. But I guess I was thinking maybe not THIS extreme. The whole place is falling apart!
Many barns need to be torn down entirely and/or fixed up. That is, after we cut down the brush and trees blocking them in.
Now you know why we haven't gotten anymore pigs or cows to replace our old ones. ;-)
The chicken house, (that's it above and below) Andrew could probably push right over with his toy dump truck. Since we HAVE chickens, we need to be tearing it down and rebuilding a place for them to over-winter and STAT .
The house, I fear, is only being held up by the layer upon layer of contact paper Gram slathered everywhere. The roof leaks and the foundation has bad spots. We will have to convert to wood heat. And that says nothing for the wavy plywood walls, water damage, layers of falling down wall paper and...contact paper (ugh) and all the COSMETIC work it so desperately needs.
I told Matt, I would rather have just the bones of a place than to have to go on an archeological dig through 50's wallpaper, 60's plywood, 70's carpet and 80's contact paper to FIND the bones.
The worst of it is.... since we are on the tightest budget of our history.... my instant gratification nature is going to be tested as we CAN'T make all these changes right away. We lack two precious resources... money and TIME. The fact is, I am going to have to live in a hideous house for a while and make it less hideous SLOWLY and as we are able.
It wouldn't be as big a deal if it I weren't currently living in my DREAM HOME. My own vanity is holding onto our present home with a death grip. I have to fight (daily) the comparison game about our current house and the new one and the new one always loses...big time. But the sad fact is that despite our original hopes, this house can never be ours and will never be.
Our new house may not be better (at present), but it will be ours. And permanence is something I have dreamed about and prayed for since the first day I became a blushing bride. With the claustrophobic ceilings and small rooms, I get the liberty to plant my orchards and reap their harvests, plant asparagus and perennials and never be faced with leaving them or digging them up. With the scraping of contact paper, I get to see Matt live out his dreams of having LAND. When we are old, we will have something to GIVE to our children. All of these, dreams come true.
Truly, my home isn't within ANY four walls. Matt is my home and wherever he is, I will be. Happily. It sounds cheesy and cliche', but there it is.
If I can get through ONE more move, I will never (Lord willing) have to move again.
We are BUYING a house.
And we move October 31st.