Sitting here all by my lonesome, in the darkness of before dawn and in the quiet of slumbering children: I had to wave my husband off for ANOTHER week away. I barely made it through two weeks ago and so it seems pretty much impossible to endure another week as a single Mama. So I have sat, having a little pity party on me for the last few minutes and toying with the idea of just not participating in Multitude Monday since there seemed so little to be thankful for....or at least, too hard to search for.
A major have-not this week is my husband. And that just happens to be the worst have-not EVER. But that got me to thinking about all the other have-nots that I don't have.
And it occurred to me: sometimes, Have-NOT's are reason enough to be thankful.
So my gratitude list this week is for that which I DON'T have.....and here goes.
I HAVE NOT ::
- the job of unearthing buried bodies in a devastated land
- the mourning of my husband, mother, child, friend
- the torture and fear of my child stolen from me or lost
- a child on the brink of death or in the midst of life-threatening conditions
- the taste of concrete powder in my mouth and muddying my eyes
- to worry about where food will come to feed my children
- a home, destroyed
- to sleep outside, with no protection
- chaos and confusion at every turn
- an insatiable thirst-but no water anywhere
- to feel turmoil, sadness and despair from the moment I wake up to the time my eyes force themselves closed.
I HAVE NOT::
- a husband who must come home and tearfully explain how he lost his job
- bills coming in which we can not pay
- to wonder where the money will come from to buy food or pay rent
- to seek outside work to help my husband support our family
- to sell all that we own in order to make ends meet
- to hit the pavement in search of too-few jobs available
- the need to rush to find somewhere to live
- to depend on the support of soup kitchens or charities
- to go to sleep desperate and wake up the same
I Have NOT::
- the pain of a husband with wandering eyes
- the struggles of a broken marriage
- the responsibility of kissing my child each night, wondering if he will live to see tomorrow or succumb to his cancer
- a car broken down
- to deal with rebellious teenagers
- the need for a wheelchair
- to clean out what is left of a home, burned down
- blindness or deafness or brain malfunctions to make life more difficult
On this quiet, lonely Monday morning....I am thankful for all that I DON'T have.
Thank you, Lord.
Gifts numbered 301 to 328 blessedly UNaccounted for.
What are YOU thankful for????