Thursday, July 19, 2012
I've got some 'splainin to do.
My last soapbox post has spurred me to write a little qualifier here on the blog lest my blog be taken wrongly. Bear with me. Unlike the start of this blog, I most often post little trifles and lots of pictures, sharing the moments of my days~ less often I write of the deep churnings of my mind. The reasons for this are varied: from lack of time, to lack of wit, to almost always getting myself into trouble in some way; it can be just easier and SAFER to post trifles. Nevertheless, this blog is my own personal record and a record for my children and so I continue, every so often, to write a little truth in a whole lot of words. So that my children might know me. So that I might know myself.
I can plainly see how easy it could be, especially for those friends and family with whom I have contact on a daily/weekly basis, to read what I write here on my blog and to link my words with them, wondering if I might be writing subtle messages for them to hear and so forth. The last post had that effect (and as a result, hurt feelings) and many a soapbox before that, so I think now is as good a time as any to clear things up.
The fact is, when I write here on my blog, I am writing about things that are happening within ME and things that I am directly or indirectly, pleasantly or unpleasantly, learning about myself, my heart and my own growth (or lack thereof.) The tangents I go on from time to time (though admittedly less these days!) are my way of working through my own weaknesses, struggles and less occasionally~ moments of clarity. They are, in effect, me giving myself pep-talks to becoming the godly woman I really long to be. I write them down to cement them in my mind and to one day, perhaps, show my children the deep pieces of who I am/was.
When I am talking about the short-comings of people, I am almost always speaking from my own personal experiences and never have anyone except my very own self in mind. If you think I don't struggle with the things I write about, it is simply a matter of me not showing you the 100 million convoluted characteristics in my soul that I like to keep hidden from view. If you happen to be struggling with the same things that I am struggling with, then praise be-we can struggle together! But the fact is if my writings poke you, call it the Holy Spirit, because I wrote it to poke me.