In Bloom and Garden

Lenten Rose

On Mother's Day, the lilacs bloomed and the asparagus was ready to harvest for the first time!  It was a happy Mother's Day, indeed.

We've so anticipated the harvests that would come in that asparagus bed we planted three years ago- and just like that- it's here.  Whenever something is first begun, the future can seem so far away.  When we moved in, our house needed so much work it seemed like it would never end.  And maybe it won't- but boy, has progress been made!  A baby is made and 9 months seems like eternity and then poof!  They are nearly teenagers. An asparagus bed is planted and it is nearly painful to watch it grow but not pick any- and then, suddenly, on Mother's Day you eat.  And two days later, there is more.  And two days later, more still.

Time is a funny thing, isn't it?

I know I will be feeling the same way when we finally get cherry and nectarine harvests from our fruit trees last year.  As we wait, though, I am fully enjoying the beautiful show they are putting on!  Last night, as apples and lilacs and fruit trees were all in peak bloom, there was a frost warning.  How I worried!  I brought in a huge basket of lilacs to make bouquets to put throughout the house just to be SURE I could enjoy them even for a moment.  I worried for the fruit trees. Sure enough- I woke up to frosted grass...but miraculously, the blossoms on everything seem okay!

Lamonium

pulmonaria

 I worked in the flower circle this week.  Weeding, laying down wood chips from the woods, tidying things up.  Lots of little flowers blooming making bees and bugs very happy.  The circle is alive again...and it makes me so happy.

creeping phlox

forget-me-nots

While I've been working on flowers...I should be preparing the vegetable garden.  I've been at a stand-still on that because Matt, unknowingly, put fresh cow manure on it all winter.  I've been very concerned with any plants put in there getting burned and the idea of it has just made me wonder what should be done.  And since I had no answer, I just tried to ignore the problem.

But I can't ignore the problem.  We depend on our garden in many ways and not having one is not an option.  I don't want to plow up new ground because to replace the size garden we have would tear up too much of our yard.

I talked to a neighbor and, he says if I take up most of the hay, the walkways and the fencing, he can plow it for me. And maybe, turning the manure into the dirt will make it all okay.  I don't know if it will work but there really isn't any other option anyway.

This is a huge blow for me because I worked really hard to make walk-ways last year in order to have a no-till garden and ONCE AGAIN- it isn't happening.  (This has happened to me before.)

Oh well, if it must be done, it must be done.  So, as much as I would love to keep admiring the beautiful flowers, I really should be paying closer attention to this eye-sore:

My Work

Andrew has been finding treasures on his woods' walks.  He has found THREE owl pellets which he is over the moon about.  The boy has eagle eyes in the woods.

The amphibian visits have begun- spring finally sprung.

Smoothie breakfasts replace scones...another sure sign.

fruit trees in bloom!  Sooooo exciting!

Once upon a time, I never would have dreamed of children dissecting owl pellets on my bed and being there, enjoying it all, with them.  I never would have known I would admire so many frogs, newts and creatures as I do every week (day!) now.  I never would have imagined all the laundry that children produce, how much food can disappear and how quickly, how many reprimands a child requires and how many infinitely more hugs and kisses are necessary for the proper raising of children.

I never would have imagined having so many moments of my life given up for the sake of the people who need me.

It is an exhausting life, this.  It is a busy job, motherhood.  But it is a spell-binding, wonder-filled, laugh-inducing, beautiful, amazing journey.  And so, so, so important.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mama's whose daily work it is to make home a haven for those people, big and little, who enter in.  

We are world changers....watch out!  ;-)

In Other (BIG) News:

 

Adele' learned how to ride WITHOUT training wheels this past week...and that very afternoon, she taught Judah how to ride two-wheels too!  

A teacher-mother in the making.  ;-)

Tiddle

Thank you, thank you for all your kind congratulations on this new little life we've been given.  Each of your comments gave us such great joy.

New life is always, always a miracle but this new life... after almost four years of wishing, hoping, longing and all of it being dashed and dashed again... this new life seems in many ways more miraculous; more surreal; more unbelievable to me than ever before.  Is it true?  How can it be true after four years?  Can it possibly be?

The first year wasn't bad, really.  In fact, it takes me a year or so after a baby to feel 'ready' for the next one so not getting pregnant before then is almost a relief.  But once I was ready, I was ready!  And it wasn't happening. ?!?!?!?!

 This past year has been the most trying of all.  I had tried convincing myself, with great sorrow, that the Lord just wouldn't be giving us any more children.  I hated to say those words...to think those words...but, in order to protect myself, I had to try to convince myself to move on.  (Try, being the operative word here.)  My heart wouldn't accept such things no matter how much I wanted it to and I couldn't protect myself from the sorrow or the fear or the dashing of hopes.  My heart broke, again and again.

Matt would try and encourage me.  "God is in control.  God blesses with many blessings- not just children.  If God wants to give us another child then He will."  All of these things were meant as encouragement, and are completely and utterly true...but they felt more discouraging than encouraging.  I found it painful to know that God was choosing not to give me a baby.  That He hadn't wanted to give us another baby.  Am I so bad a person?  Am I such a horrible mother?  Have I failed?  Why were people aborting or abandoning babies left and right becoming pregnant in the first place but I, who would cherish a child, was not?

It was hard to know that for four years, it was God's plan not to give me my hearts' desire.  It was harder still, knowing that He may NEVER give me another child and that too, would be part of His good and perfect plan.

The hardest part, the pain-filled part, was not knowing whether His answer to the pleadings of my heart was a "not now" or whether it was a "not ever".

Those four years of waiting have made the truth of this wee life burst forth in ways it never would have otherwise.  Everything is brighter.  Everything is more astounding.  Life, no matter how small a life, is made more marvelous with the knowledge that God has given it and nothing can make that more clear than a womb, empty and barren for four years despite every attempt at resurrecting it, coming back to life on a God whim.

It isn't science.  It isn't just normal procreation.  It is, and always has been, GOD.  And it is God that wanted us to have this little life.  It didn't just happen.  We didn't just make it. God gave it to us.

If the answer had been 'not ever' God would still be good.  His ways would still be perfect.  But I am so thankful; so extremely, tearfully, overwhelmingly thankful that God's answer those four years was not now.  

A little tiny life grows inside.  A teeny tiny bit that gives such mountainous joy.  A Christmas baby that we call Tiddle.

Thank you, Lord.

*** I came across this article a month or so ago and it was a real source of encouragement to me.  If you are waiting on the Lord (for whatever reason) and beginning to lose hope~ please read it!  When God Makes You Wait. ***

Best Family Photo Shoot Ever