Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Bleek Bleek Bleek BLEEK BLEEK BLEEK BLEEK BLEEK
The alarm clock rang out at 5:15 and I sat up, bleary-eyed. Week Number Two of waking early, of walking with husband, sending him off to work with kisses and conversation. Of....exercising.
The first week of rude awakenings had me bolting upright in alarm as I tried to understand what the obnoxious noise was. Children usually woke me. But this week, my eyes weren't wide at the first sound of it screaming, this week I sat up slowly and begrudgingly. But I got up. Brushed my teeth. Threw on the same clothes I have worn every morning I have woken before dawn and tied up the same sneakers. Then, braced myself for the cold.
Matt and I have walked together, pushing ourselves and each other in midnight morning races down driveways and walks under starry skies before he heads out to work. But then, he hurt his back and now I am flying solo until he feels up to it again.
It is harder to get out of bed and out the door into brisk darkness when you are all alone. But I did it, have done it, will do it~ because that is my commitment to myself.
This morning, the moment I stepped outdoors I was taken aback by the intense stars shining back at me. The sky was utterly filled. Bright, with no moon. My thoughts turned instantly to the Master. His fingerwork of stars. I walked and prayed, only the dog companion and perky deer to hear me, and Master himself. I walked, then jogged, then turned toward home to see the pinkness of a new morning just beginning.
Dippers spilling stars and mountaintops blushing and all these things I saw because of that insistent, insufferable alarm and the commitment I made to myself. I do hope I become more fit, but even if I see no changes in my body, it would still be worthwhile. Sometimes good things do result from unpleasantness.
Reading A Foxfire Christmas, listening to Farmer Boy as soon as the car starts and looking around at all the gorgeousness of this new season upon us has got me to thinkin'. Made me want to challenge myself in a new way. Seems to me people enjoyed things MORE back when they had to work for things, back when there was less. Back when you gathered your own winter berries and found your own greenery instead of pulling them out of dusty cardboard boxes in the attic or cutting tags off of newly bought ones.
Holiday decorating has always been a weakness of mine. Oh my, the glam and glitz of holidays: whether it be glitter pumpkins or glass ornaments, or feather wreaths....my normally frugal nature always turns a blind eye during the holidays. Going to the store and getting a few nice decorations sure can be fun..or my weakness~getting the supplies to make my OWN decorations from super cool ideas on the internet. But I think there *might* be more. Not just more fun, I want more meaning, more appreciation. I want to find contentment in the simple things, I want to the feeling of beauty to linger long~not just be put into a bag.
I have decided to not by a STITCH of holiday items this year. Not a one. Spent not a dime. I will use what we already have or make/find/discover other ways to find beauty and joy in these ever-approaching seasons. Other things. I challenge myself to this course, I commit myself to making the most beautiful of holiday seasons ever. Starting this month. With the pumpkins in my garden.
Speaking of Holidays: Did you know there are only 82 days left until Christmas?! I know this because of ANOTHER commitment I have recently made.
To handmake every gift I give this year.
The gift list is crazy long, the pocketbook short and time is quickly dwindling BUT I have a craft room full of supplies, a door to easily hide the mess, willing hands and a mind up for the challenge. To make something INDIVIDUAL for each individual I love...something that they will love too. I CAN do this...and am finding it is more fun than I had anticipated!
Lots of commitments, all to myself. It's me, making my life harder (again). But I hope, these commitments will make my life more loving, more meaningful.....more intentional. I hope that these things will change me for the better. Because one should NEVER stop trying to be better, in whatever way (and by whatever means) they can.
And since we are talking about commitments here:
Last year, Corynn was reluctant to read books aloud. She LOVED (loves) to be read to and can sit for hours at a time, but when it came to sounding out and struggling through books, she just didn't like it as much (duh!). When schooling started up again this year, I began to brainstorm how I might encourage her in this area: making reading (herself) fun.
I decided a tree on the wall might just do the trick. A big, black, silhouette tree with fun, gnarling fingers to hold leaves reflecting the books that she has read. Every time she reads a book entirely herself she writes the title of that book on a construction paper leaf (that she traced from a cookie cutter and cut) and tapes it on the tree.
She L.O.V.E.S it and begs to read things herself now. She has committed herself to filling that tree right up, so much that she has to tape leaves falling down onto the ground.
I am excited for my girl. She's a good one, she is.