What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~ Martin Luther

Friday, March 26, 2010

Bellyaching

Yesterday was the worst day ever. Well, not ever, but pretty darn horrible.

** I dropped off my sewing machine to be repaired on January 15th. They (finally) called yesterday morning to tell me it was ready (ABOUT TIME!). I immediately told Matt and begged him to pick it up, which he did, and brought it home. I sat down eagerly to work at her (I missed her so!) and my many projects on the burner (so to speak) only to find that she was never FIXED. Over $120.00 (!!!) and almost THREE months (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and she still wasn't fixed!!! Needle stills clanks into metal once past the bobbin plate. I called the company and they told me to bring her in again. ugh. It was like a firework that made it to the sky only to come back crashing to the earth. It was like euphoric suicide. Trust me, it was bad. I think I moped the rest of the day.

*** On top of that~ I was reminded yesterday (by my sister and Mom) that my son has a birthday on TUESDAY. OF NEXT WEEK. (That would be four days away, my friends, and over an already busy weekend to boot!) I felt (feel) like the worst mother in the world, for forgetting about a birthday. WHAT MOTHER DOES THAT?!?!

My mind has been so consumed with all the *stuff* going on and on EASTER, that I completely forget that my Panda Cowboy is turning four. FOUR. And, fitting his obsession with cowboys, I was going to make him leather chaps and a fancy shmancy hobby horse and a lasso...and there is NO way I will have time for all that (or even SOME of that).

His birthday cake, I was told last night, must include a cowboy with a lasso, holding a pistol who is shooting a rattlesnake while the horse has a rifle in its' pack. Figure that one out.
It's official, I am the world's worst mother.

**** Foto Friday was a bomb and a half for me this week.

***** Some days I feel totally fat and huge, other days I wonder if Smooch is still okay and growing. I am so schizophrenic it scares me.

****** Two things that happen to me when I get pregnant: my insecurities quadruple AND I have nightly nightmares. Not a combination I am fond of. Matt has cheated on my about 10 different nights now, in a row. (IN MY DREAMS, people. The man is the most devoted guy I know, which is why this is all so baffling.) Baffling, but very emotional.

******* There are clothes on the line right now. With SNOW on them.

******** The basement is empty of wood and the fire is pretty much gone. brrrrr. (another weekend project.)

********* The HEALTHCARE bill passed. ?!?!?!?!?!

********** I am REALLY cravings onion rings. Lots and lots of onion rings. In barbeque sauce. In southwest sauce. In ketchup. In cheese. In all of those things at once. And I wonder why I gain 40-50 pounds during pregnancy...

OK. I guess that is about it. There are lots of good things (and sweet things, and funny things, and blessed things) happening around here too (to be written about some other time), but I just didn't want to talk about them right now. I felt like complaining.

In order to make up for that, here are a few lions and lambs to elicit forgiveness and goodwill from those of you who endured this depressing post.

....darling...


....awwww....


....sweet...

...happy thoughts....


...ahhhhhhhhhhh....

much better.....

12 comments:

Bonnie said...

They better not be charging you for this round of "service" for your machine. I wish I lived closer, I'd bring mine and help you with a sewing blitz. Is your needle bent, or moved off center? I realize you can't check that now, but the thought did occur to me...

I'm sorry you had a crummy week, it was here too, mostly due to a teething girl (who was up until after 2 this morning...)

And now I will declare things I know (despite never having met you) to be true:
You are Pretty
You are Smart
You are Creative
You are Loved by Your Husband, and your children will call you blessed
You are Beloved of God
And you will smile again soon.
Love ya-
Bon

P.S.- I never got to tell your how much your P.S. meant last week, I needed it- THANK YOU!

Melodie said...

I too have those same fears and insecurities, especially when I am pregnant. Although they are completely unwarranted, they still feel real emotionally. And I am glad I'm not the only one who does, so thank you for posting this. = )
If only we could see ourselves the way our husbands do!
Maybe the sewing machine is a sign that you need to slow down? Just a thought.
The pictures are darling!
I hope that your weekend goes smoothly and your worries are wiped away!

God bless!
Melodie

Cherrie said...

Take a breath and look at your beautiful children! You are indeed blessed!

Alisha said...

Rebecca, I just want to tell you, I have been reading your blog now for a few months and I always look forward to seeing what's going on in your neck of the woods. You are an inspiration to me,(as I am sewing machine illiterate), and I'm sure lots of other people who read you! You do EVERYTHING! And you have small kids, AND you're filled with Smooch right now, and that will eat your extra brain cells, my friend. (I once sprayed an entire glass checkout counter with windex and forgot to wipe it off for a few hours. Pregnant brain is the pits!)

You're an amazing person, a breathtakingly wonderful mom, fabulous wife, and like-way-cool-to-the-max blogger. ;) I wish I had half the creativity you have in your little toe. You inspire me in many ways. Your projects are just ...wow! Your family is just ...wow! You're great, girl. Wish I lived closer and I'd have you over for tea or coffee. And, maybe onion rings, because you made those sound toooo good. ***hugs***

Wendy said...

Bummer. Things will be looking up soon~ Like for instance...the weather on Friday is supposed to be 76*....that is something to smile about! I do hope that you feel better soon though!

Wendy said...

I cant believe I forgot...LOVE the pics of the kiddos! LOVE THEM <-- (say that in a sing song voice)

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, I have been reading your blog for a while. I am just curious, why are you against the healthcare bill? From everything I have read, it seems to be right in line with all of your christian values and teachings. It is part of the greater good.

Thanks,

Missy

Domestic Accident said...

I was going to say something profound about dreams while you are pregnant, but then you mentioned the onion rings and I completely forgot what I was going to say.

You're children are scrumptious!

Rebecca said...

Missy~ thanks for your question.

I am emphatically against socialist, government run programs. Giving 1/6th control of our U.S. economy to a government that proves to be incapable of wise financial decisions is not the greatest strategic move, being forced to participate in a bill in which the president and congress write themselves OUT of worries me and using my tax money to fund abortions and other crazy notions that completely contradict my beliefs just makes me mad.

But despite ALL that, the government has no right or control to mandate healthcare. Even if the bill was FULL of Christian values, the bill is still unconstitutional.

That's my view, in a (very small) nutshell! ;-)

Anonymous said...

the healthcare bill does not support abortion, nor does any other federal funding...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for taking time to answer my question. I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation/ background information about who I am and how I got here. I found your blog while looking for back to the earth homesteading tips. I have been reading many of your postings in a short period of time. You and I have very many similarities, I believe in growing most, if not all of what my family and I eat. I do not watch much tv. We are thinking about home-schooling our three young children. You and I are also very different, however, religion is not the focus of our lives, we are pro choice, voted for and support president Obama, and feel that it is the government’s responsibility to take care of the most vulnerable members of society. Many religions, including yours I am guessing, require, whether suggestively, or by force, donations and tithing to support the church and the less fortunate members of society. The healthcare bill will make the country as a whole healthier by providing preventative care for millions of underserved people, many of them children. I read on one of your posts that you will not have any sort of prenatal care with this pregnancy. I think that is far more irresponsible than anything the US government has just signed into law. Is this a moral/philosophical choice, or is this a monetary issue? You are your children will now have access to health insurance that you seem to be lacking. Additionally, there are amendments in the works to close the gaps that exclude Congress and the president from this healthcare bill. Abortion is legal, whether you like it or not, why should the government provide its people with access to tonsillectomies?

Again, thank you for the insight into your life and your answer to my question. On a cheerier note, I recently came across a book you might like. It is called Salt, Lemons, Vinegar and Baking Soda – hundreds of earth-friendly household projects, solutions, and formulas by Shea Zukowski.

Missy

Rebecca said...

Missy~ there is something very important to clarify here and that is~ I have never written I will not be getting any prenatal care during this pregnancy. You must have misunderstood. I *may* have written I haven't gotten any YET but I am always slow going to the doctors for pregnancy. This is my fourth pregnancy and I know when something is amiss and I don't feel the need to travel with children into doctors offices every few weeks just to pee in a cup and tell them I have no questions and then pay for such a waste of time too.

It is irresponsible to not get any prenatal care when you are pregnant. Period.

As for the healthcare bill, I suppose we ought to just agree to disagree. There is much I could dispute, but why? I will leave only this: my Christian morals dictate me to help my neighbor, not allow my neighbor to wallow in their sins and/or misery. While there are a few upstanding individuals who are in genuine need of support, it is an unfortunate fact that MOST of the people using government aid are doing so despite the fact they don't NEED it (I KNOW some of these people) or are suckling it to death without even trying to support themselves. Wholly, it is misused. I feel a better way to help our neighbor is to do so through the church; not giving money with no strings attached and no encouragement for betterment as the government does, but rather, giving financial aid AND support to better ones' position (help in finding jobs, help with childcare, etc.) Things that will really get people back on their feet and not just suckling the money pig.