What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~ Martin Luther

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

If I may be so bold....

I wanna talk about sex.

I try hard not soapbox but some things need to be said...by the people who OUGHT to be saying them. Instead, we let those who SHOULDN'T do all the talking...

The tired old media is so good at downgrading the determination of godly individuals to do the right thing (about pretty much everything) and shamefully plugging the obscene for everyone within earshot to hear.

This is why we don't watch television. Not only is it a waste of time, it is a serious propoganda machine.

The other day I was prepaying for gas (at a gas station, duh!) and there were three (count 'em three!) TV's all shouting the news from corners. This is true in grocery stores and even RESTAURANTS (where people are supposed to be having a grand time eating with one another)...and we don't think we are addicted?? Okay-different soapbox. sorry.


On this television there was news playing and the caption said "Sex Education in schools" so it piqued my interest...sex education at the hands of anyone other than a parent is something I get a wee-bit emotional about. The "intelligent" woman was saying " We need to teach our 10 year olds that *insert completely unacceptable act here* is not only not something to be ashamed about but, indeed, perfectly normal and ought not to be approached with guilt. (*I am not a prude, I could say the word, but I don't want some psycho googling it and finding ME. shivers) My jaw literally HIT THE FLOOR. My turn was up and the cashier saw my expression than focused in on what was being said and shuffled around awkwardly and said "Sorry-they make us turn that stuff on." I was angry the rest of the afternoon.

Don't get me started on sex education in public schools...sex education is not starting at 10 years old...in some cases it starts in FIRST grade! Don't get me started on TV's spouting things like that for anyone (including your three year old) to hear. And really, DON'T get me started on the complete lack of faith in our nation's young people, the snide, insulting remarks about admirable goals or the fact that they are instituting their own person self-fulfilling prophecy.

Actually, DO.

A few days later I stumbled across this article in response to this bit of "news". Watching that news clip was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Why do we have such lack of faith in our nation's young people? Because we feed them full of "you should do this, but if you decide NOT to anyway, then you need to do this." Self-fulfilling prophecy, people. Such a simple principle.

We can't control what a nation's young people do, most of our nation is wicked, pure and simple. We CAN have faith in OUR young people if they are raised to appreciate the importance of God's word and His way.

The modern day dating scene and casual sex movement actually trains people to seek out more and more pleasure on whatever whim they have at that particular moment. Men and woman are resorted to mere machines, being USED for pleasure alone--and when they are no longer able to fulfill that PURPOSE, then they are discarded for a newer, sleeker model. It trains people to promiscuity and to disrespecting their loved ones. And we wonder why the infidelity rate is so high....those lessons are not unlearned once a wedding ring is on a finger.

My mom said while flipping the channels she came across The View in which a panel of men were talking about infidelity. This panel came to the overwhelming conclusion that it is obsurd and outdated to think your man is going to be faithful to you. They went so far as to say faithfulness of a man is not only unheard of but actually UNREALISTIC...just our natural biological nature, after all. OBSURD?!? UNREALISTIC?!? I certainly hope not.

These things are being spouted off to anyone who will listen and we wonder why extra-marital affairs, divorce, and perversion are at all time highs?!? We wonder why teens are becoming sexually active earlier and earlier and why unplanned teen pregnancies are a huge percentage of pregnancies?

This is not rocket science people!

God says to remain abstinent until marriage. He doesn't say "You SHOULD remain abstinent until marriage, but if you don't (because how could you in today's society?)-just make sure you don't wind up with a KID out of the deal." ummmmm, no.

God gives us this guideline for a reason, and I personally think it is not just for HIS glory but our OWN glory too!

Abstinence is the only sure-fire, no-fail way not to have an unplanned pregnancy for sure. But NOT ONLY THAT!! We miss the boat and get the dingy if we just stop there...

When we save ourselves for our husbands/wives...

* we never have the worry about unplanned pregnancies or the pain and hardship of raising children up in single-parent households.

* we never have to worry about STDs

* we never have to feel pressure to perform or stand up to past lovers.

* we never have to have a quiet burden of wondering how many lovers they have had in the past or if our spouse preferred THEM in bed.

* we will always have the truest, purest satisfaction in knowing that our spouse is FULLY ours and we, fully theirs. We have never had to share or be shared.

So-it is physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually better for you to remain abstinent until marriage.

I feel compelled to write this very open, honest and touchy subject on this blog right on the heels of this post because I know there are plenty of young, unmarried people out there who are checking my blog and I have a message for you.

You are stronger than anyone believes you to be.

You will get the message that abstinence is unrealistic (at best) and impossible (at worst) from your teachers, from the news anchors, from the newspaper, your doctor, your peers, the boy who is holding your hand, television shows, even from your own President.

Don't listen to their venom. THEY are not strong, so they think that YOU can not be. But YOU are one of God's.

God doesn't give us rules without the means to obey them. He will bless you in your efforts to honor and obey.

The post below is a moment of grace in my every day. It is a moment of beautiful, unadulterated MARRIED love and it is my greatest joy in life. It can be yours as well. It is NOT unrealistic. It is NOT outdated. It is NOT impossible. I saved myself for my husband and he saved himself for me. It was not easy (in fact, in my case (blush) it was pretty darn difficult!)
but there is NOTHING sweeter than a true, godly union of ONE.

Everything, every moment, is made more sweet, more pure, more peaceful, more lovely and more rewarding knowing that you are EVERYTHING to your husband and always have been, and He is everything to you.

Abstinence is the greatest gift you can give your spouse. It is also the GREATEST gift you can give yourself.

A gift that will be opened for a LIFETIME.


Bonnie said...

I love your soap boxes, you always hit the nail smack on the head- good job and well said my dear!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post! I agree wholeheartedly. And I would add one thing... even if you've made mistakes in the past, it's never too late to start saving yourself for marriage! I waited, but before I met my husband, he had done certain things in the past that he shouldn't have. He lives with some regrets because of this... but God is good, He forgives, and He has truly made us one!

Abstaining before marriage really was the best thing. We concentrated on our relationship, not on sex, and we have a foundation of being faithful and committed to God and each other. It's not easy, but it makes your relationship much stronger in the long run.

Grandma Bibby said...


Anonymous said...

Amen, Amen!!
And as for the low expectations placed on our younger generations today - have you ever read the book 'Do Hard Things' by Alex and Brett Harris? (Their brother wrote the books 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' and 'When Boys Meets Girl'.) The book is written by teens for teens and is a rebellion against the LOW expectations todays society place on teenagers! It encourages teens to step up and rebel against these low expectationa and do hard things instead. Brilliant reading :)

Lovely Little Flowers said...

WONDERFULLY said!!! Thank you!!!

Amanda said...

I agree, with a caveat. By all means, parents should be teaching kids that abstinence is the only way to go. But if a school is teaching sex education, I feel they are doing a huge disservice to all involved to teach abstinence only.

Anonymous said...

I have been a long time reader of your blog......a few years at least (blush) without ever making myself known. I just had to congratulate you on a spectacular post. What a hot button topic to take on. All I have to say is well done! My husband and I know first hand how important absitnence is and we both know that it can be achieved. (smile) We are teaching our 3 boys to be courageous in this endeavor! It is so difficult, but we know God has a plan for their lives and for their future spouses lives together as one! Thank you so much for the insight and encouragement.

Terri said...

PREACH IT, REBECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are a number of young women (teens and early 20s) in our church that I'm ministering to and there are days when my heart breaks for them and the choices they are making! They are saturating themselves with cultural things on television and their choices of friends that keep promoting do what feels good.

This was excellent! Thank you for sharing. By the way, could I possibly link this blog post for these young women?

Rebecca said...

Terri, you betcha!!!

Leah S said...

One thing that I didn't see on your list for waiting is mental roadblocks. In my case, I've only been with my husband, but had to "train" him it was ok to do this or that. He was in the habit of not doing such due to a former girlfriend's more uptight views of sex.

It just annoyed me so badly for the first few years of marriage he struggled to branch out due to his own mental roadblocks. And it wasn't even anything kinky, I'm just more opened minded and frisky than his old girlfriend. :)

Out for an Adventure said...


This hit me hard in the chest. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for opening my heart.

This is something I've been recently struggling with.

I sincerely thank you.


Peggy said...

AMEN, Amen, and amen!!! Rebecca, I know exactly of what you speak... Even as a Christian I rebelled but not in a godly way. I listened to the LIES and gave in to a sinful life of promiscuity. And will REGRET it to the day that I die! How I wish that I could go back and make the right choice. I will be the first to say "WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED!" Forgiving ones self is often times the hardest! Isn't God wonderful, he has forgiven me!! But there are still consequences... there is mental baggage and scarring! No one should put themselves through that! God has a wonderful plan for us, if we only obey!!
(read climb down off of soap-box..)

Once again THANK-YOU for writing about this, my dear friend! My prayer is that our children do not grow up beleiving the LIES that the world is trying to perpetrate!

Wendy said...

I agree Rebecca that sex ed. should be taught at home...Poor Isaac learned the hard way..*Put a LOCK on your door people!* That uncomfortable experience led us to tell him that what we were doing was perfectly acceptable, and that it was MADE for a husband and wife to enjoy. Another thing I stress even to my little ones is that during their school years I want them to focus on themselves...work hard, play hard, dont worry about boyfriends/girlfriends...the place for that is college and after. Going out in groups for fun is recommended. I keep thinking if I say it enough, perhaps they will take it to heart. I think there are more pure folks than we know...after spending time with a girlfriend who preaches promiscuity..she was surprised to find out that both Cory and I had saved ourselves...I was equally surprised to know her husband had saved himself too...good post Rebecca!

Cara said...

Bravo, well said Rebecca!