A few weeks ago at church, Michelle asked about opinions on scheduling. Unfortunately, the time between morning and afternoon service is minimal so we didn’t have time to have a thorough discussion. So I thought, maybe we could start the ‘discussion’ here and see what comes of it. This is MY point of view. I realize, it is different than many peoples, and I look forward to hearing the other points of view. So-without further ado…
I feel schedules are SO important for children and children really THRIVE on them. Kids like to know what is going to happen next, it makes them feel like they have some control on their lives to know what will happen next.
In the case of newborns... I like to get my babies on a schedule within a month or so of them being born. I don’t starve them until they get on a schedule but kind of go along with the schedule they follow. Of course, the first few weeks-a baby has such a mixed up schedule (yes-babies DO have schedules! They sleep during the day and are awake at night…and eat whenever they want…) Newborns shouldn’t be forced into a rigorous schedule-they continuously got their nourishment in the womb-just feeling HUNGER is a new thing to them. They need the nourishment as much as they can get it at first. Within a few weeks though-you will see them start to develop their own pattern. Look for it-and encourage it. When the baby starts to fuss, hold her and play with her instead of feeding her right away. Postpone it as long as you can (even just five or ten minutes). Then feed her. The next time, do it again. If you continue to do that-you will go from incessant feedings to 4 or 5, to 3 or 4. They will be BIGGER and longer feedings-but further and farther between. Not all babies can handle a lot in their tummy at once-sometimes smaller feedings are better for those with sensitive stomachs or for children with stomach problems. You are the parent. You know what is best for your child. It is MY opinion, however, that children without problems, who are fed less but more (meaning less often but more per sitting) are often more content, more easily transition to scheduled table food sittings, sleep better and are healthier. Why? Because children who are fed on demand eat LESS…making them hungry more often. Their little bellies do not have that full feeling for very long…because they metabolize the food so much more quickly. They get uncomfortable and hungry more often because they feel HUNGRY making them upset and even waking them up frequently, they don’t gain weight as easily-because the food is metabolized so quickly, and they are not put into any routine at all-making the transition to table food and weaning that much more difficult. On a side note-babies who are demand fed, often get food when they are hurt. Comforting should not be associated with food. Babies should find comfort in soothing, loving, hugging, kissing, and rocking-not with food. UNLESS the discomfort they are feeling is that of hunger. It always makes me nervous because it may encourage ‘food for comfort’ later in life-not a healthy habit AT ALL. Food should not be a comforter. Parents should. Love should.
I realize, as I said, every mother has her own soapbox knows the best about nursing/bottle feeding, demand/scheduled feeding, etc. This post is coming across that way too, even though I don’t want it to. Once again I say-this is my OPINION and you are welcome to your own.
Once your child becomes a toddler and is on table food alone, this comes into play even more so. Toddlers all the way up to teenagers need to be taught healthy eating habits-not just WHAT to eat, but when to eat it. I am a firm believer in three meals a day plus one snack. I don’t agree with people letting their kids graze throughout the day. (Which is probably why I like having my babies get on schedule, when they appear to be ready.) It is not healthy for adults to just eat and eat and eat all throughout the day. Especially since, most foods that you just nibble on or graze are unhealthy-the things you don’t have to prepare. Chips. Cookies. Junk. So why should we allow our kids to do so?
Children are MUCH more active than adults and so still need snacks. But I always make SURE that meals are EATEN. If we encourage lots of snacks-we encourage the not-so-healthy foods versus the wholesome good foods at mealtime. If children know that they will get any food they want, even if they don’t eat their suppers, which do you think they will choose? It is important to give your kids breakfast, lunch, and dinner-REAL foods. Then, when they eat all that, if they are still hungry, between meals, give them healthy snacks! Corynn has begun is to complain about being hungry ALL hours of the day. Even after just having had meals- (that she didn’t finish, might I add!) It frustrates me to no end-but I will not give her snack foods to satisfy her hunger if she refuses to finish her meals. She will eventually learn that she must eat all of her food to get snacks. Once she eats all of her food, she won’t need snacks, I am sure. But lately, she wants the crackers instead of the soup or the grapes instead of the chicken. I would encourage you (and myself because I NEED it!) to skip the snacks all together if they refuse to eat real food and DEFINITELY desserts...not that we have THOSE all that often! We want our children growing up with a well balanced diet. Not one accustomed to crackers, cookies, and other snack foods.
The way I see it, we are raising our children with the goal of their becoming adults and so we should encourage them in adult habits. And
eating three meals a day is HEALTHY and a REALISTIC thing for adults to do-and therefore kids should follow suite. Now adjustments must be made…if they are STILL hungry after eating all their meals-they must need some more. Don’t starve your kids…just don’t let them fool you with their “I’m hungry…” meaning I don’t want dinner…I want CANDY!
Scheduling is also important in the way of sleep…but that subject is for another day! This post is already entirely too long and will probably enflame entirely too many people. :-)
