These pictures are all super blown-out and over-exposed, but you know what? I love them anyway. I don't know why. Because Judah is just a big 'ol HOSS and can push tractors weighed down by brother and sisters? In his skivvies no less?! Because that is JUST the face Little Addie Mae gives when she is happily surprised at something? Because Andrew and Corynn bear those very same expressions every day? Because those purple/pink flowers are the first posies to bloom in my flower circle? Because those wisps of white crowning a pale little bud of a girl? Probably all of the above.
How was your Mother's Day weekend?
I spent my Mother's Day gathering armload after arm load of not-quite-opened lilacs into the house and into vases to spread around the house. I've been looking so forward to lilacs which I haven't enjoyed in ever so long (last years' were zapped by a late frost before they even came close to blossoming) and whose smell happens to be one of my most favorites. Tonight is supposed to be a killing frost which makes me so sad! Tonight I will gather all the tarps and blankets I can find and try to cover the lilacs and apple blossoms up but just in case, I have plenty of vases scattered around the house. It is snowing at this very minute.
Snow in May. Ridiculous.
And as I plucked baby flowers to save them from a cruel fate...I pondered.
After the last few weeks and all the anxiety of not knowing what was wrong with me (and assuming the WORST, naturally), I spent my Mothers' Day a bit more reflective than in previous years. Being a mother is such a joy and such a gift- but with that gift and that joy there is a deep commitment and responsibility that is...dare I say it?... daunting. As I was considering (what I deemed to be) imminent death, all I could focus on were all the things I SHOULD have done. I felt gripping fear as I considered "Have I done enough to train my children to love the Lord? Have I been a good witness to them, a good testament of Christ? Have I prepared them for life without me but with Christ? Has my life helped or hindered the gospel in my childrens' lives?" It is scary to know that there is only so much time to do what you are meant to. Oil lamps aren't always at the ready. Sometimes we just get lazy. Sometimes we just get tired. Sometimes, the schoolwork or the housework or the yardwork or the ANYTHING gets more attention than the most important things.
When you are a mother, every single day is a gift, but also an obligation. And knowing that I am put in charge of God's children and have only so much time to do what needs to be done, adds a certain fervor to the equation. May God grant us mothers unending love and compassion to fulfill our calling, eyes open and grateful hearts for the love and blessings that the Lord has poured out for us, also wisdom overflowing and a zeal to live for Him and to do His work.
That is, after all, why we are here.
No other success in life-not being president, or being wealthy, or going to college, or anything else- comes up to the success of man and woman who can feel that they have done their duty and that their children and grandchildren rise up and call them blessed.~~Theodore Roosevelt