Nearly a week has passed since I last wrote. Wow. I am still shocked about that.
It hasn't been that I didn't have time, though time is admittedly sparse these days! It hasn't been that I haven't had things to write about...I have been busy creating, recreating, thinking, contemplating, and experiencing just like usual. All have been dominated by a shadow of struggle, and that is where the problem lies.
Every day I would come and sit at the computer. Every day I would check a few blogs I enjoy. Every day I opened up Blogger and stared at a blank NEW POST screen, only to lose focus. Eventually I would just walk away, frustrated that I couldn't write out my thoughts in a tangible way. I HATE that when that happens! :-) Naturally, some things that are on your heart are too important to just flippantly mention. Some require devotion and thoughtfulness to express in a meaningful way. I guess I didn't have the energy, the time or the HEART to organize all the crevices of concern sneaking about my mind into one rational form of thought.
I don't now, either. Mainly because it was a lot of little things, not just one big thing. For those of you wondering, it had surprisingly NOTHING to do with fertility or wanting a baby. For some reason, I feel confident that the Lord will bless us again with a child. I am not pregnant. Just at ease.
No, the things on my mind have been of a different sort altogether. For awhile I agonized over expressing it rightly, and then I realized that it would be okay NOT to express them. I suppose the thoughts stirring within me will stay that way, until (if ever) there comes a time when I can spit them out in a way that satisfies me.
The most wonderful thing is that even if I do not express my thoughts aloud, I know Someone who is listening and knows my heart. Even if I can't say what I want to say in the way that I say it, God has no pretenses. He doesn't require eloquent speech-only that you open your heart to Him. That is enough to sustain you. To sustain me.
If my mind has been busy this past week, my fingers have been just as much! I finished *most* of the Christmas cards this week and mailed them out. They aren't my traditional sort of card, but I really like them. The only ones left to send are the ones that I can't bear to send without a letter attached. Those take a bit more time and so those are still yet to be done.
All the shopping for Christmas is done. All the gifts wrapped. Many cookies baked. LOTS of fudge being made, even today. Decorations oogled. Mint M&M's eaten. Christmas music heard (always!) Dollhouse furniture created. Glitter sprinkled about. Snow played in.
It's been a busy, full week. So busy that I have given up on schooling Corynn until the New year. I am such a sucker! I don't know how I'll be able to stick to my guns for schooling. This is a huge struggle for me. Thankfully, it isn't 'official' yet. Thankfully, I have time before I need to buckle down. That is a worry for another day. But then again-doesn't scripture say "Have no worries for tomorrow-there are enough worries for today." There ya go. Good advice! :-)
I made myself a little pact that nothing will be created apart from this dollhouse until AFTER Christmas in order to ensure that I get the dollhouse stuff DONE. But I broke my pact after I received my beautiful sewing machine. I couldn't bare to NOT use it so I began to sew an apron I have been PLANNING to make for months. It is made of gorgeous robin's egg blue and cranberry red rose fabric. It is lined with gorgeous deep cranberry bias stripping. It is a lovely, stylish and flippy style. I love it. I was SO excited to finish it yesterday but when I tried it one, I realized the bodice was not centered in the skirt! ACK! SO CLOSE! I will undo and redo soon. I can't wait to share it with you. It is just lovely. Even if I do say so myself! :-)
We are celebrating Christmas #1 ~with the Newman side of the family this weekend. It should be a wonderful time. IF we don't have to endure the NorEaster that will dump 5-10 inches of snow on us in our travels. In a car without snow tires. I am praying for a safe journey and a good time.
Before we leave I am dropping off about 4 batches of fudge for a cookie exchange and some gift tag/ornaments. The ladies of our church are getting together and creating 'goody bags' for the college students as they finish up their midterms and head out of town. (Our church is COLLEGETOWN after all!) The bags will be decorated with these tags that can then be used as ornaments. I made several so that the less creative bunch of ladies might have some inspiration.
It is always fun playing with paper, glitter and glue.