For three nights now, contractions have stirred my emotions and constricted my belly (and mind) into believing that "tonight is the night". I would go to bed, fully assured that the four hours of mild contractions would turn into painful contractions in the night and a trip to the birthing center would be inevitable by morning.
Three nights, I have fallen asleep, prepared and ready. Three nights I have fallen asleep in anticipation of meeting this wee bundle. Three nights I have tried to prepare Matt for what was to come.
Three mornings, I have woken up rested-contractions gone.
Now babies are being born everywhere~ friends are meeting their precious bundles (Leah and Bonnie) even friends cousins-go visit, and CONGRATULATE!)~ and my typical "3 weeks early" delivery is laughing in my face.
I feel very confident that this Bunkin in my oven is a boy, because only a little BOY could be so insufferable to his Mama.
It wouldn't be so bad, naturally, if I hadn't of rushed about completing my Bunkin List(ironically, the day after my first "scare"-and yes, that first bout of contractions WAS a scare, because nary a thing was ready!)
Before, I WANTED to push back the delivery until I was able to finally get things accomplished. Now, all things are set. Tidy. Waiting. Anticipating.
Meanwhile, I am sitting, twiddling my thumbs...trying not be impatient for Bunkin to GET HERE ALREADY.
Yes. I have 9 more days to go until my "due date". But my due date has always been wrong, and I took entirely too much comfort in that. Foolish me.
Never has there been a more potent opportunity to find JOY in waiting. I must remember: Life is ABOUT waiting. WAITING actually makes life MORE miraculous, MORE cherished, and MORE exciting.
Waiting for babies.
Waiting for a new home.
Waiting for electricity.
Waiting for running water.
Waiting for HOT water.
Waiting for a stove.
Waiting for the dust to settle.
Yes, I've done my fair share of waiting this year. (You'd THINK I'd be pretty good at it by now. HA!) Looking back, each milestone once reached, meant all the more to us. We ate like kings those first weeks with a cookstove. I relished every hot drop that cascaded down my body when a hot shower was once again available. Water never tasted so wonderful as the day it poured from our own faucet. The house seemed all the more mansion-ish when we could extend and stretch our lives out of the one room we lived in.
Yes. Waiting made those things all the more valuable. I will find JOY in waiting.
I can do this.
I CAN do this.