Having four children keeps one on their toes.
Having a Judah ups that ante exponentially.
He is fearless, he is strong and he is capable of doing things much bigger kids than he are too scared to try.
He is exhausting.
All summer he has been riding his bike faster and faster, crazier and crazier. He started popping wheelies and they got bigger. He started sitting on the back tire. He started standing up. He would try and ride without hands. All kid stuff, right?
And then one day he said "Hey Mama! Look!" And he was standing on the SEAT while riding his bike.
He was four years old.
And then one day, giving his mother a heart attack by standing on the seat wasn't good enough. He had to do it one legged.
Judah and Corynn just had their birthdays at the beginning of this month.
Now, he is five. Now, she is twelve.
|He had a bloody nose here- hence the headtip. ;-)|
It is a hard thing to know just how to give these children of mine just what they need, even when it doesn't come natural to me. It is hard, as their Mama, to know just how to encourage them and not stifle them while still protecting them. Some of the things they do (or think or question) I am just not ready for- but I have to actively try NOT to hinder them just because I am not ready for it.
This is new territory for me and I am finding it hard to find that balance. I want to hold them close and keep them my little dependent ducklings forever but at the same time, it is almost magical, seeing these little children unfurl into creative, unique persons with skills and talents, joys and passions all their own.
How will I raise an almost teenager?!? A girl who is working to discover who she is and what she stands for.
How will I survive a Judah? A boy who spends most of his time flabbergasting me and the rest of it exasperating me?
How will I do right by all my children?
I don't know much but I do know one thing:
I'll be doing it on my knees.