I am in the secret-revealing mood today, so be prepared. My life is an open book. My secrets (and moreso, Matt's) are secrets no longer. I am all about keeping it real.
First, mine. Drumroll, please...
I hate talking on the phone.
I think I might have been born with less estrogen than most women, because I just don't get a thrill out of it, nor do I find pleasure in it. Actually, I dislike it immensely. It is a waste of time and a dangerous distraction. (Disclaimer: This is my soapbox, I am not saying talking on the phone is wrong-only that I don't like it. The end.)
I talk to two people on the phone regularly. My mom and my sister. All other phonecalls are answered only in case someone is in trouble, has died, or is about to die.
The moment Matt gets home from work, it has become an established, unspoken rule that HE is in charge of the telephone. If I am in the kitchen, an arms reach away from the phone and he is downstairs-he sprints to the phone on its ring. Of course, we have three phones strategically located throughout the house so it isn't THAT horrible a jog. Nevertheless, I realize what a gem of a man I have.
Another secret (that really isn't all the much of a secret) is that I enjoy taking zillions of photos at a time, regardless of the subject matter. Especially when I am bored. Most especially when the subject matter is the love of my life. Most decided especially when he can do nothing to stop me.
Like for example: when HE answers the phone I will not answer. Wha ha ha ha haaaaaaa
(The innocent, unsuspecting victim.)
I am a terrible nuisance, but my nuisance-ness is for the greater good. It would be tragic indeed, if I ever forgot these little details. A life lived without mention of these things would be a life wasted. So if my life is to stand for something, and if I am to contentedly smile on my deathbed, I must-SIMPLY MUST- share with the world these little things that not many people know about my Mattie.
If I hadn't have cornered him with my camera, if I HADN'T snapped a gazillion photos of the same man, the same day, the same time doing the same activity, you wouldn't ever have known what slippers he owns. Birthday present- two years ago.
Nor would you know his obsession with having clean, clipped nails. Oh my. That says an awful lot about a man who sticks his arm up a cow's, um...gulp... you know.
Oh darling. You say you love me now. Just wait until you see this post. Muah Muah
It would be tragic indeed, if the world did not know that Matt's wedding ring is made of Titanium and not gold. Wedding present- five years ago.
Or what the bottom of our phone looks like...
*Hey! Wait a minute. He's got that sexy "My eyes are more brown than dark chocolate and couldn't NOT twinkle if I wanted to, but especially not now because I love you so" twinkle in his eyes. I wonder who he is talking to...That RAT! That SCOUNDRAL! THAT adulteratin', womanizin', perverted....
Oh. Never mind. It's his mom.
Okay then. Where was I?!?
Ah yes. My revealing of some of Matt's deepest secrets, on the internet for the entire world to see... Let's continue.
You wouldn't know that he has these three freakishly long eyebrow hairs that he absolutely refuses to cut because he thinks they are cool. To me, they just make him look like Andy Rooney.
Nor could you fathom his browbone, which I affectionately refer to as his Umbrella Brow. Because, obviously, it keeps his eyeballs nice and dry in monsoon season.
To show a bit better what I mean, I increased the shadow on the photo below to accentuate the Umbrella Brow effects.
Nope. No raindrops splashing THOSE eyeballs. Not to mention all the money we save not having to buy sunglasses.
My point exactly.
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For the record, I love every little thing about you. Mattieboo.