What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~ Martin Luther

Thursday, October 15, 2009

An Eyeliner Tale

Last week I planned a trip to the ever accomodating WALLY WORLD. I hadn't visited the place in who knows how long. I try to avoid it actually.

Reason 1: It is a good 40 minute drive.

Reason 2: I swear it is impossible to get out of there with a bill of less than $50.00 bucks. IMPOSSIBLE. Even if you have like four things!

Reason 3: It is nearby three other stores that I LOVE, which I then feel obligated to frequent since I "AM IN TOWN AFTERALL".

Overall, a BAD scenario.

Well, a trip could be justified by several larger necessities that are priced best/most accessible at Walmart.

So the childer and I went, because the only time I go shopping is during the day and the only time Matt is not here is during the day.

Because of THIS fact, I have trained my little puppies very well to hold on to the cart and walk beside me.


Never let go.

And they are good little puppies and obey. (Not to say they don't touch things as we walk, or step on the backs' of each others' feet or do other crazy, normal "kidstuff" but thankfully, most of the time they have the hang on part down.)

Hanging On = my shopping sanity

As we walk along, many people stare at us. I wonder if it might be because the children are each walking nicely beside the cart with one hand holding on. Or maybe it is just because they are CHILDREN and CHILDREN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. I don't know.

I can't say as I blame them, I always think the same things only opposite. I admire those ladies who have children walking nicely beside the cart and think (my! Their children are so well behaved!) and I assume right off that if I see older children during my daytime shopping excursions, they are probably homeschooled.

I guess I am just as stereotypical as the rest of 'em.

But I digress.

(I take this moment to interject in order to say: NO. Not all homeschooled children are obedient and not all otherwise-schooled children are disobedient. Of course I understand that, what am I? Some kind of idiot?!)

We were walking along nicely when all of a sudden my feet stop and my ears beg for mercy as a scream vibrates through the store. The scream (a tantrum scream, you must know) causes everyone in my line of view to visibly cringe momentarily and then quickly recover enough to act like nothing happened.

But then. It happened again. Only this time the scream was saying "I want it! I don't WANT you! I HATE you! UGH! I HAAAAAAAAAATTTTEEEEEEEEEEE you!"

ok. right then and there I started trekking it outtathere.

My kids are not perfect. (HA! Is that an understatement!) But I can guarantee you one thing: the thought of saying I HATE YOU to ANYONE, let alone their parents has never even crossed their minds. They are smart, because if they ever tried....oh man.

I escaped as fast as I could and the children were running alongside the cart because they KNEW that they had better hustle too. Even my kids knew the aftermath of such an outburst (or rather, the aftermath that SHOULD have occurred.) would not be pretty and they thought it best to get outta there too.

Unfortunately, they must have been heading our way because the screams continued through a good part of our shopping trip.

So much so, I was practically BEGGING the mother (silently of course) to just go home. Just PLEASE, go home. Do yourself a favor lady. (and everyone else)

Fast forward to the dairy aisle.

Milk is a really low price here! Things are looking up.

Then (angelic music ensues), what do I see?

A cart. With children holding on! Three along the side and one in the seat. OBEDIENT children! A kindred spirit of a mother! Things were DEFINITELY looking up. She was in my way, so I used that as a perfect opportunity to compliment her on her children. We got to chatting.

Yup. They homeschooled. (Man~ I TOTALLY called that one!) In fact, these were just four of eleven children. Ha! Never would have guessed that!

Just when I was again feeling peace, the screamer went down a nearby aisle, still screaming albeit a bit hoarse by now. More like scream/sobbing at this point.

She and I looked at each other and she said, "you know. It's such a shame, it doesn't have to be that way." And I nodded, knowingly.

Parenting isn't easy but it surely isn't torture. Sometimes as parents, we are our own worst enemy.


Now, I should tell you this: Walmart was the last stop after visiting those other three wonderful stores that I love just because I was in the area. By now, my own children were getting tired and dare I say it, cranky?

I knew that I had better get in, get my stuff and get out. For my sake and theirs. But after my little conversation with the Mom of eleven (with the obedient children) and having just nodded in agreement about the importance of discipline and the resulting obedience in children, I knew that NOW was the time to REALLY hustle. How embarrassing would it be to have my children start acting out after all that?!?

So I started walking fast--the LAST thing on my list was eyeliner. I don't wear lots of makeup but I do love some inconspicuous eyeliner. and I needed it bad.

Corynn started stepping on the back of Andrew's feet. On purpose.

I walked faster.

Adele' began to whimper~a sure sign that the inevitable blow up is coming.

Faster still.

I got to the makeup aisle and started looking around for eyeliner. Black. All the while I was thinking about the line I still had to get through to pay. How many people were shopping in the store, waiting in line. It would be another 30 minutes before I got out of there probably.

That thought scared the bejeebers out of me so I grabbed the first and cheapest eyeliner that I saw then I hightailed it outta there.

I practically rode the cart down to the registers and danced my way through them.

But I got out with my confidence still intact.

Only today did I realize (while getting dolled up for tomorrow's self-portraits) that the eyeliner that I had grabbed so hastily was in fact, bright BLUE.

BLUE?!? They still make blue eyeliner?!

I couldn't help but thinking in remorse, that I am now one of their statistical numbers declaring that hideous navy blue eyeliner is, in fact, a product that is in demand.


And worse yet: I spent MONEY on the dumb thing.

I guess I can't let it go to waste...I'll figure SOMETHING out I guess.

Morals of the story:

Don't shop at multiple stores you love BEFORE doing the real shopping.

Don't affirm to a most noble woman how well-behaved children ought to be when your children are on the threshhold of doom and despair.

and, most importantly....


You never know WHAT you might get.
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Bonnie said...

HAHAHAHA! Yes, I can relate! (I am laughing your eyeliner warning) When you said people were staring, I thought you were going to say you looked down and Andrew had an eyeliner mustache or something.
I am sorry to say, but I was GLAD to hear Corynn was bothering Andrew. A certain big sister around here has been teasing the little brother, (something VERY unusual for her), and I am so happy to hear other big sisters do these types of things, and I haven't completely blown my job as a parent.

I am a Wal*Marter. There is simply nowhere else to shop that doesn't involve a 45 minute drive. And you're right. I never get out of there cheaply.

Unknown said...

LOL! Great post! It just rings sooooo true and so familiar...you should try a self-portrait with the blue eye liner! HEEHEE! :P I'm still working on the hands ALWAYS holding onto the cart especially w/my 4 year old ds...any tips? :)

Just curious, what are these other shops that you love so much? :)

Many blessings...Lord willing-see you around tomorrow! I don't have anything too earth shattering for self portrait...I'm going to have to edit them to alot to make me look beauuuuutiful! JK! :P My sister might join in later in the day! :D

Rebecca said...

Amy~ what I did to teach the whole "hands on" thing is to put my hand gently over theirs as I pushed. They thought I was trying to hold their hand but really I was just keeping them ON there. Having a hand over top theirs learns them pretty quick!

secondly-BEAUTIFUL looking? Was that a criteria?! Because...well, ain't none of mine beautiful. In fact, Corynn and Andrew busted a gut when they saw my pictures.

thirdly~~~oooh! I hope your sister does! That would be great!

Dana said...

My girls walk holding on to the cart, too. It's the only thing that keeps me sane while shopping.


Unknown said...

Not a criteria, but just my own silliness...*blush, blush* :P I love the term 'busted a gut', I use it ALL the time. Seriously. :)

Rebecca said...

O hyeah~ and the three shops are:

I love them.

Not far off is a new one called the Christmas Tree Shoppe and that is a dangerous one too.

These are the reasons I avoid town at all costs. :-)

amy said...

I love your blog, but never really comment...why? I don't know. But I had to pipe in here because I laughed through this entire post and kept thinking about the stereotyping I do. It's pretty ridiculous. I will walk through the store with my husband, point to a family and tell him, "They homeschool." He looks at me funny. I say, "I bet they really do. If you don't believe me, ask them." He remains quiet. I ask, "Should we meet them? It would be nice to know more homeschooling families. They look very nice. Look how well behaved their children are." He looks at me again, I know what he's thinking: you don't even know if they homeschool. I, of course, reply to what I knew he was thinking, "They do homeschool. I know it." This happens at least once every two weeks... and we have still not spoken to any of these "homeschooling" families. (But I know they all do... I can just tell, you know?)

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

You take marvelous photos. And you write wise/witty posts too. I'm grinning from ear to eat at this one. All of it. :-)