Another milestone

Quite a few trips to the local free pool have occupied our time-especially when the weather was so hot. A perfect diversion.

Nearly every time my niece and nephew met us down there, which the kids and I loved.

Each visit the children became a little more 'fishy' and a little more daring in the water. By our last trip, Corynn had worked up enough gumption to put her head all the way in the water and learned to hold her breath.

My, she was proud!

In action

That last one says it all.

Panda had fun too

Outnumbered

I have been told by my insufferable husband that my photo-taking has become a thorn in our computers' side. Apparently, the computer is drowning under the heavy weight of memory overload with no megapixel lifeboat. Or something like that. Did I sound smart...even just for a minute? No? Not even a tad computer savvy? drat.

Anyway~ he took this big black box baby to his work and had something or other upgraded and more memory put on. Well, MAYBE that is what he did. I really don't know for sure. I might as well admit it...Since it is already very apparent that I know not that which I speak.

Therefore, I am left but a moment to poke something on my little bloggy after having a few uneasy days of rest. Seems like not having access to my comouter for so long has got me extra jittery about not having it again.

What is poked are two photos from my first "entertaining". See?? Doing it even before I ought... No accessible house, but the yard surely is-and so it is done. This is how I operate. No need for formal dining, just good friends and family.

I loved all the kids there were in attendance this particular time. All these children were split between my mother, my sister and I. Obviously, we Newman's have some catching up to do...

How we do things round here...

Living amongst the rubble can be an exhausting task; the work seems to be done slower, when you are there to hear every nail splitting boards or smell every stroke of polyeurothane painted. A watched pot never boils.

And yet, each triumph becomes a celebration that we can experience more wholly, having done without. Here I describe the way we have been living, and are.

Before we moved in, we watched and waited anxiously and impatiently for plumbing the be finished in the toilets. A working toilet was the golden ticket to moving in, and so-each day I would visit and head straight to the pottyroom to take a look on progress. The day the toilet was filled with murkey, muddy water was a day of true celebration! That was all we needed for a go-ahead to move in. And we did.

Week Number 1 we had only a trickle of water coming from a lone teeny pedestal sink in the bathroom, and that COLD. No hot water had been hooked up yet. A handled bucket became worth gold. Also worth gold, was the Ziploc take-along "disposable" plastic conatiners. At the days dawn and at again at dusk, I would trudge to the outdoor hose and fill 'er up halfway with water, then trudge back inside. Some frigid water placed in a Ziploc container and then nuked until boiling would then be placed in the bucket, making the water bearably cool. A washcloth and some soap, and a quick but efficient spongebath. Living like the Amish. It can be done. When our hair just cried out for clean, family graciously allowed us to raid their homes and bathtubs.

Then one day-just two days ago- our hot water was hooked up and again we celebrated-with a sink bath for the children. Sweet, wonderfully warm water cascading over our starved skin-nothing could feel better...except maybe a shower. With children in clean shells, the night became a little sweeter as did the sleep.

Another day, another triumph. Our most recent triumph came when Matt hooked up the shower. BUT. The plumber did something wrong-HOT water goes into the toilet and the shower only produces lukewarm water. And trust me, the term LUKEWARM is generous. Yet- we are abundantly thankful for the opportunity to wash away grime from our WHOLE body all at once-and for the opportunity to clean hair, however chilly it may be.

~~~~

Food is made with crockpot or grill and is limited to anything that can be made without a bowl. We've had some delicious dinners come out of it, and fantastic beef kabobs!

~~~~

We haven't unpacked anything unnecessary yet, which means no toys for the children. They have 7 or 8 books from our car trip out here, two puzzles recently bought for .50 at Target, two crisp and fresh paint with water books and a teeny stuffed animal, given to them. And yet: they do not lack things to do-or enjoyment. Turkey feathers are found on walks then turned into airplanes, swords, kites, pens, animals, trophies, etc, and all manner of fossils and pretty stones are collected and displayed in their room. The bike seat never grows cold for Corynn and sticks provide constant enjoyment for Andrew. Toads, frogs and crickets caught and made short-term pets, rabbits are chased, and barns explored. It seems, with the lack of toys, they have created more enjoyment.

My children have never been stuffed animal kind of kids-and yet, when Corynn was gifted with a small, battered polar bear by her same aged aunt-friend it instantly became adoring clutched. Incessantly. The bear is missing an eye from its many adventures along with the stitching to make individual paws on one foot. And now~ it is nearly brown with grime. Yet~Corynn finds such beauty and joy in it, and a true companion. She takes it on bike rides many times a day, on walks, in the car...it is her constant companion-even in slumberland.

I think it is pretty amazing, that with the lack of toys and "stuff" to distract kids, they value things more.

Though isn't this true with adults as well?

~~~~

Each day three Amish young men come, dropped off at 8 am sharp and work until 4:30. I don't know if it is true with all Amish men or just these, but they are surprisingly...unthoughtful and unclean. The soda bottles they leave behind, the packets of cigarettes and the pieces of all manner of wood and counter scraps and JUNK all need to be cleaned after they leave. Last week Matt worked a day away cleaning up junk from MONTHS ago-filling our downstairs rooms. Now these same rooms are nearly empty, so full were they of junk. I have filled BUCKETS with rusty nails and broken glass that has been lying around the doorways...hundreds of them. Methinks they are accustomed to being cleaned up after by certain womenfolk.

Worse yet, equipment is left plugged in and strewn around. After Andrew nearly nailgunned his forehead, it become obvious to Matt that a nightly walk-through to unplug equipment is a necessary routine.

(Check out that B.L.A.C.K water...obviously the Panda is a country boy and lovin' it...)


This is our life right now.

Daily sacrifice met with daily gains, and all the while, we are made more thankful for that which we DO have.

And every day, granted an ounce more of patience and perseverence-to get through the coming day.

It is modest and humble, but it is ours- and it is helping to shape us into who we are.

Down the road abit

One of my favorite spots, thus far.

A few miles down the road there is a small Amish community and this home always catches my breath, especially the garden. Who knew a vegetable garden could be so lovely?!?

I took a photo for inspiration~ never can a dull vegetable garden be planted by the Newmans. Never again.

That might just be considered a sin.

These two are awful comfortable sleeping together by now...I wonder how hard it will be to break them once seperate beds can be unearthed??

Boy toys

Lots of things occupied my children during their (our) stay at Grandma and Grandpa's. For my boy child, it was 99.999% of the time equipment. The kind you ride on, and the kind you drive with chubby fingers. The kind you ride on always ALWAYS won out, but on the off chance that he couldn't hitchhike a ride on a four-wheeler, kayak, tractor, truck, lawn mower or doodlebug...he settled for the toy trucks that occupied his Papa in days gone by.

And always while driving: the vrooms and vibrations of real motors bounced off his lips. I never knew that car sounds were innate in the male gendered species, but these sounds have echoed off his lips since the time he was a bitty.

You learn all sorts of crazy things when you have a boychild. I am still not fully prepared...

Here, at last.

I moved all the furniture out of buttercream room.

I swept. Twice.

I mopped and smudged the dirt around. I mopped and smudged LESS dirt around.

I hauled in the table and put it together, found some chairs that I could reach, put groceries in the itty bitty portable storage unit and chilled 2 quarts of milk in a borrowed electric cooler.

The floor was as clean as I could get it, considering the windtunnel of construction dust we are in, our bed and a shared twin mattress were in designated locations-we were finally ready. It didn't feel real, though, until the beds were clothed in their cotton nightclothes-pillows thumped and plumped...then, ONLY then, did we KNOW we were FINALLY starting our lives one night at a time, in our new home. The first night-the starting gate of a brand new beginning. When the sheets were made, it was real.

When the strawberry cheesecake candle was lit atop two coffee filter "doilies" and some garden flowers plunked into an old mason jar centered the freshly polished table, THEN and only then, was it welcoming. Beautiful. Exciting. Then, it was home.

Corynn thrilled at being here. Excitedly she begged for more and more chores to help out. Wash the windowsills, gather garbage. Decide where you would like your bed. Wash the counters, table. Excitement made manifest.

Andrew was in his element, picking up the ample scrap sticks lying about and using them in ways only a boy could think up. At one point, he started shouting "Ders! Derrs!", pointing out the window. I didn't know what he was saying at first, but I entertained the notion of looking. I saw nothing for a long moment, though my boy jumped up and down in excitement. Only when he said "Derrs! Barn!" did I look over near the chicken house and see specks of deer through the lilac leaves. They moved and we watched, a mother and her young one. What an exciting thing for him to have noticed all on his own. He was very proud and beamed when I said "GOOD EYE, Panda!"

We all shared the excitement in waiting for Papa to return from work, and when he did, we all relished being with one another-eating together, alone, for the first time in a LONG time.

That night it stormed. Torrential rains beat upon the newly laid steel roof and I laid in bed, listening to the clanging protests, unaccustom to such noise. The naked windows had no curtains to block the flashes of white lightening just outside their panes and the freshly painted walls shook right down to the foundation as the thunder rippled across the sky. My thoughts rose as my unseeing eyes blinked in the night, thoughts to and for my boy-the boy who gets so frightened of storms, who reminds himself over and over "God made rain, God made rain" in effort to persuade himself calm. I thought how terribly scary it could be for this boy to wake in an unfamiliar home, surrounded by the deep squares of black made by box shadows and my fears for him kept me awake. Wondering when the cry would come.

I waited and waited...but one never rose. Eventually, out of disbelief, I scurried to their room only to find a contented, peaceful face on both my children. Being in their house calmed them as much as it did me.

I am a changed person. I love our home and find such joy in it, even amongst the scattered nails, boards, and smell of varnish. It doesn't matter that we are living a pioneer life, with everything in one room. It doesn't matter that my "kitchen workspace" is about the size of a small suitcase, or that hot water is a luxury that we have not yet been afforded. We haven't even noticed that we have no toys for the children to play with, or that showers must be borrowed for the time being. I am so thankful to be here. SO thankful indeed.

Corynn can almost always be found sitting, writing in her notebook. Somehow it is just more fun to do this on a bed that sits flat on the floor, or at a table that she had never sat at (a $12.00 find just before we moved...)

Andrew is always found with a stick. And with a dirty face and hands.

Matt works hard as ever during the day, but holds me just a bit closer each night as we lie in our own bed, in our own room. Together.

Life is oh so good.

Thanks to Matt's efforts this evening, I am able to finally share my thoughts AND photos-to record this changing time of our lives. Now, it is much easier to look forward to doing so.

Because...

we have made it.

We are Home.

To Do

Yes~ another reposted photo...from last the 2007 August archives, around this time. You can tell I am starting to get excited about life again...I actually have something to SAY on here! ;-)

The checklist for today and tomorrow morning:

Move all boxes and paraphernalia to outer edges of master bedroom and pink room.

Sweep and mop floors in both rooms

Create mini-kitchen in master bedroom (unpack opened food boxes) and paper goods.

Find microwave and crockpot. Unearth grill.

Set up small table in master bedroom

Set up computer for internet connection-coming on Saturday-barring any catastrophes.

Clean upstairs toilet and shower

Set up mattresses in rooms

All these things are leading up to:

Sleeping in our OWN house tomorrow night! ;-)

Wheels are spinning...

IMG_2757, originally uploaded by sgrbear724.

My camera lies dormant in its bag, memory card full with hundreds of photos and I am doing a photo REPOST! Oh the irony. Though, honestly, had I remembered I have a few photos on Flicker that are accessible to me, I might have done LOTS of reposts!

A trip down memory lane: I made this photo to tell everyone the news of Bunkin. The oldest child looks the same. The younger one looks entirely different. More boy. Less hair (WHEN did he have that much hair?!?) Blonder. MUCH blonder. How can a baby change so much is such little time? What has it been 6 months?!?

I have seriously been about to lose my mind, not being able to see and share my photos with everyone. It goes against my very nature. I have discovered a dangerous addiction and therapy is not going so well...

Good news though. It is short-lived. I'll have my precious internet connection and all the necessary, functioning installed hardware by the end of next week! Photos again! HURRAH! I can't wait to see what my camera has in store for me-saved in its memory the last month!

I also wanted to thank those several people who have given my blog awards recently. I try VERY hard to just write and post, for my own sanity and the sake of our family memoir-but even with that in mind, I found myself wondering if anyone would want to visit me here anymore since I have been so unfaithful with posts and photos.

Your awards gave me hope that I haven't lost EVERYONE-and that even in down time, there are people out there who visit and support me. So-thanks to all who have continued to faithfully visit every now and again, and offer support even in the midst of this boring blog time.

Trust me-my life is boring for ME. I know just how devoted you are to still be visiting me. I would have stopped visiting me LONG ago...


PS. Tomorrow is the big day. Murky water is in the toilets, but it is water nonetheless. A working toilet was my only stipulation for moving in, so we are doing it! Tomorrow we are going in the midst of the chaos and living happily in our home, in the one room that is available-the master bedroom. It will be an adventure-and one that I will GLADLY share more faithfully about next week when photos and updates will once again become more plentiful!

Mr. Grey

"Howdy Neighbor!"

The first words he spoke to me. My knees were pushing into earth, my hands and fingers turned to trowels, back bent low and sweat dripping ~ I turned to see a man, straight and tall, walking shoes below and an old straw hat perched atop his grey. A tiny feather stuck out of the hat and in his hands was the old handle of a wooden broom, his walking stick.

I stood, walked over, smiling, then looked down at my hands and forearms-all black and grainy. Apologetically glancing at my hands, I introduced myself, and He returned, grabbing my hand firmly in a handshake and laughing. "Oh, we do a bit of gardening ourselves..." he said.

That was the first meeting with Bill Grey. We stood there kicking the dirt, visiting long enough for me to learn that his sister married my father-in-laws cousin and that Gram just happens to be her great friend and that he went to school with my husband's uncle; long enough to hear that there is a Mother Bear and her cubs that visit daily our properties and a boar bear that has been seen as well "A big one, he is." I now know that a pair of fawn have lived in the thicket beside our house and, while beautiful, are quite the nuisance in the gardens. We talked about our house, the work being done to it, the people who lived there before, the original settlers. "I'll have to show you some pictures I have of the old house when so and so lived here."

"Well," he said glancing up at the sun making it's way across the sky, "guess I better not hold you up here all day." Then off he went~ down the old road, past our barns and turned up the road to walk the pastures.

I watched him leave a moment before returning to my soil work and thought about how nice it is to have such a friendly sort living in the only house nearby. Good neighbors.

Every afternoon, I hop in car, drive across the country roads-past farms, Amish homesteads, animals and fields, and an old cemetary to visit our soon-to-be home, picking up the mail, checking on the progress of the construction work, working to make the outside beautiful since I can't make the inside beautiful right now. Every day, same time, Bill would come trudging along the old road, walking stick clomping the road before his footsteps. Every day we would meet up and find enough to talk about for the next 45 minutes to pass like a breath. "It sure is good to see you planting things here...the last owners trashed the place." Then, before he left, "You know, my wife and I were planning on dividing some hostas and we have some peonies, larkspur and a few other things we could give you-if you were interested..."

On Wednesday, Corynn and Andrew were picking up bits of plastic and garbage unearthed from bushhogging after 2 years of yard gone dormant, and I, again, was on hands and knees. This time, we met Shirley, the wife of nearly 50 years. She was as kind and friendly a country person as he and again, our visit was left with an inward sigh of contentment and thankfulness for such good neighbors.

Thursday, I woke, readied myself and the children for the day, and was just sitting to help a little one when my father-in-law Gary came in and told me, "I was just reading the obituary, and your neighbor Bill died last night." "Of course-your mistaken. I just spoke to him yesterday afternoon! We talked about sharing plants and him joining a fitness center come winter, when his country road walks would have to be put off. Lots of times people share the same names..." but my arguments were over when he showed me the obituary. My voice trailed off and my mind whirled with this new information. How can this be?!? He was fit as a fiddle! How must his wife be? I only met her yesterday...and they were joking around with one another. How can a person die that was perfectly fine yesterday?

Bill Grey was the first person who has died in my entire life, whose presence has not been a distant memory. Any other death and funeral that I have attended has been with people who I hadn't seen in months, years. Never yesterday. Never when there was no indication that this was to be the last time I would see them. My mind reeled with questions. I kept reliving the last 24 hours, and then putting myself in the shoes of Shirley. My heart ached and I was more affected with this man who was just a week and a half ago a complete stranger, than when my grandfather died who I remembered only from the dozen or so times I had visited as a child.

I wondered, "WHY Lord? Why did you bring this man, this family into my life just to take them away? Why didn't you plan our move a few weeks later-or his death a few years down the road? What is YOUR purpose in all of this? Why did we have to be here to be affected? It would have been far easier for us to not have known him, never to have seen him. Why was it in your plan to have us meet, even for the short time that we did?"

That horrible afternoon, we headed to the florist and bought a few of the most gorgeous blooms of roses and iris, went to the dollar store and bought a simple clear glass vase-and then I arranged them, marrying bought blooms that SHINE with more subtle, garden blooms that glow. While I trimmed stems and carefully placed them in the arrangement, Corynn too, wanted to do something to help make Mrs. Grey smile. So, she drew a poster-size picture of Mr. Grey holding God's hand in heaven.

We went to her house, an exhausted little girl who wanted to present her drawing having fallen asleep in the car. I quietly went to the door and knocked, and was met with swollen eyes. Mrs. Grey was incredibly thankful for the drawing and the visit. She said she never expected a visit from us, since we had just met. We talked for quite some time, and even a smile played on her face once or twice.

I realize now, perhaps the Lord brought us here at the PERFECT time. Perhaps Shirley needs someone closeby, a friend. People to distract her from her empty, now quiet home and invite her into the happy chaos of a family with little children. Maybe she needed to have someone to check in on her often, and bring little bouquets of wildflowers, and big wax drawings in rainbow colors.

I know nothing for sure except this: Shirley will NOT be alone.

JOY

1Therefore, my beloved brethren whom I long to see, my joy and crown, in this way stand firm in the Lord, my beloved.

2I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.

3Indeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity.

11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

14 Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction.

15 You yourselves also know, Philippians, that at the first preaching of the gospel, after I left Macedonia, no church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving but you alone;

16 for even in Thessalonica you sent a gift more than once for my needs.

17 Not that I seek the gift itself, but I seek for the profit which increases to your account.

18 But I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having received from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well-pleasing to God.

19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

20 Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

21 Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brethren who are with me greet you.

22 All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar's household.

23The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

~ Philippians 4


I unearthed my bible recently- and enjoyed reading scripture today. My soul was parched from the recent drought, and I was left, chaffed and cracked-pining for rest, comfort, and encouragement. I read all of Phillipians but the last chapter really struck me and drowned me with sweet, wet contemplations. All of the scripture I've read has got me to thinkin' and I've been hiding verses and concepts away all day long, to bring out and contemplate at any moment that pops up. It's always incredible how the Lord leads me to a scripture most suited for my needs when I am so low I don't know where to look, or even where to start.

Chicken scratched and uneloquent, here are my thoughts:

What is joy? Do I find pleasure in buying clothes or craft supplies? What about in the compliments of others? Having the latest electronics to show off? A snazzy car? The most-filled library? The best curriculums? Does true joy come from having a gorgeous garden or stocked shelves of homegrown food? Does it come from well-behaved children...or just HAVING children? Does it come in the form of a beautiful home? A clean home? Or maybe just in the HAVING a home?...

Can JOY be found even though it seems as if nothing is going right in life? Nothing is turning out as had been expected, or dreamed? Is God worthy of praise even when things are not as I would have liked them to be? Do MY desires TRUMP God's plan? Are MY plans better than God's? Do I feel like I could do a better job ordering my life on my own, without HIS help? Is He less merciful, less full of grace, less omniscient, less loving if He has planned my life in ways I do not yet understand, if hardships and trials I must face?

JOY is not circumstantial. If joy IS circumstantial, if joy IS dependent upon the 'high times' in your life, and not the low-then it is not true JOY. JOY can be found without any of these things. Paul wrote Philippians while imprisoned and there he was JOYFUL.

There is no fault in finding joy in HAVING things, making things, DOING things. The fault comes when it becomes something that you need. If you buy a piece of furniture to feel good only to be met a few weeks (months, etc) down the road itching to meet the self-same need because a "pick me up" is needed, then it becomes the feeding of an addiction. The need to have joy is great, but true JOY must be obtained in a more difficult way, and so we replace TRUE joy with temporary joy (or happiness) in order to fill the void. If only for a moment.

Superficial, "Replacement" joy comes from:

"What I want"
"What I need"
"What I deserve"
"What will make ME happy"

All superficial joy is...just that, superficial. Selfish, prideful, individualistic. It is all about ME.


True JOY comes in the form of:

~ Suffering
~Serving
~Believing
~Giving

All of these things, take notice, require self sacrifice. All of these things take the emphasis off of ourselves.

Suffering: who wants to suffer? Who would choose that for themselves? We have to put away and sacrifice our own level of comfort.

Serving: Shouldn't WE be the ones served? Pride is our natural tendency. To become humble is a difficult path to walk on. Esteeming others better than yourself goes against our very nature. Doing things for others often equals being taken advantage of in our minds.

Believing: Why CAN'T we depend on ourselves? We want to be in control? This too, goes against our very nature.

Giving: I know the old adage "Tis better to give than receive." We remind ourselves of this, because it is a constant struggle to remember. It is harder to give than to take.

How can we tell the different between true JOY versus superficial joy?

Superficial joy is circumstantial. True joy is constant.

Superficial joy is about the seen, what we can show off. True joy comes from things unseen and untangible.

Superficial joy draws everything to ME, with no expense too great. True joy means putting ourselves and desires LAST.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

~Psalm 51:12

Since I am on a temporary blog-photo hiatus (and it hurts. Man, it hurts!) until our computer can be set up and internet restored in our new home, I have realized how much inspiration from my blog comes from the photos that I take of everyday happenings and the loves of my life. Without them, blogging seems to be a bit more difficult an experience and yet, I want to be sure to record all these non-photogenic goings-on for the sake of posterity. I thought a great inspiration to keep me blogging is to participate in Peggy's Simple Woman's Daybook. Here goes:

FOR TODAY ...

Outside My Window~
A huckleberry bush that is nearly picked through between my cupfuls for baking, the birds and little chubby fingers longing for afternoon (and morning, and evening) snackies. A big blue sky and a happy breeze.

I am thinking...
About how I can get water to our new homestead so that we can stay there, or be there during the day as we wait for water to be hooked up. I could haul a gallon or two and put it in the electric cooler (borrowed from my parents) for drinking, a few buckets for washing up, and set up a few rain barrels for the plants. Could it work!?!

I am thankful for...
An easier week for Mattie at work. Last week was just insane.

From the kitchen...
Freshly baked blueberry zucchini bread and muffins-and yes, it is delicious. I've already tried it-to be sure. ;-)

I am wearing...
A blue t-shirt that is tight around the middle. I am not a t-shirt kind of gal but my regular shirt days are long since past and I have had to resort to t-shirts. My growing Bunkin tells me my t-shirt days are soon to be over too.

I am creating...
All that I have been creating these days are thoughts. That doesn't require unpacking any craft room boxes.

I am going...actually, returning from:
A morning strolling through the most gorgeous perennial garden which, incidentally, also sells perennials. I returned home with a perennial for each of us: to mark the beginning of our lives in this new, Lord-willing permanent home. Also a trip to the Mennonite Market.

Later this afternoon, after the children finish their rest, we will be heading to The Villa to plant our newly bought perennials, check the mail, and do some work out of doors.

I am reading...
the CVS flyer. Should I start my CVS excursions again or wait until I am more settled? This decision is a toughy...

I am hoping...
For news that the plumbing is done in the house so that we can start staying there. All I want is a working toilet!!! Is this too much to ask?!?

I am hearing...
My children singing and talking to themselves when they OUGHT to be napping. The humm of the lawnmower outside.

Around the house...
The laundry is hung, the garbages cleaned, the rooms tidied and beds made, a new bouquet of flowers on my nightstand. A house filled with comfort. Living with the in-laws isn't all bad. Someday (hopefully) soon I will be longing for the comfort of a room NOT filled with construction dust or the sounds of buzz saws. I ought to enjoy it while I have it, right?!

One of my favorite things...
the beautiful colors outside, available for the smelling, picking, and displaying within.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Sometime this week, a date with my Mattie. Boy~ do we ever need some time alone, to talk. Setting up a new midwife. Figuring out the whole telephone company deal, creating a new bank account, you know~ all the in's and outs of moving somewhere new.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

*sigh* You MOCK MY PAIN!!!

Funnies

One from each:

Corynn, hearing that Matt will be working in an office as well as making farm calls in his new job says:

"So. If Papa works in an office, does that make him an officer?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If ever I wanted access to a video camera, today was the day.

I made the children their lunch: peanut butter and jelly and placed a mug of water beside the plate. The kids sat, prayed and began eating. I was chatting with my MIL when out of the corner of my eye, I saw Andrew doing something funny. I quieted to listen.

Holding up his one hand, filled with bread, he said solemnly " Da is bed."
Raising his water mug, he said "Da dink"

He put the mug down, took the bread and broke it saying "Bed bwoke."

Then, he bowed his head, mumbled some prayerful words and said "AMEN!"

Then took a huge bite with a fabulous grin.

Corynn and I both knew exactly what he had just done and we both started giggling.

He performed the Lord's supper masterfully!

I don't understand it when people say little children don't get anything from being in the church service. Nope. How they come up with THAT notion is beyond me.

Hollyhocks and hydrangea

Water trails fall from the sky, sometimes mimicking the trees and at other times, with the tugs of the wind, the horizon. I thank God for the rain that He has sent for the last three days straight...for the gray skies that loom ahead, for the fog and mists and humidity because each droplet is like a gift. Each drip is the gift of a minute~ a minute being devoted to the INSIDE of our Villa. Many minutes have been put inside the house today, coolness pushes aside the curtains as it makes it's way indoors, and plants-newly transplanted are getting much needed nourishment from God's hands, not mine saving me from the daily routine that has become ritual: I gather all the empty milk jugs I can find, fill them, load them in the car, transport the water to our new home and empty them (too quickly) into the parched mouths of the soil, inevitably draining the water supply before satiating any of the plants.

Confession time. My last post had me sitting and pondering for quite a long time. The words came easy enough, it was the self-required task of looking on the bright side of things. Choosing to see the good in the situation. As I tried to think of positive things, good things, wonderful things to reflect on my mind naturally disregarded them for the bad things that seemed to outweigh them. So, my list two days ago was forced and difficult to come by. I am glad that I made myself do it, though, because in time these things came easier to mind and eventually cracked away the wall that I had put around myself in order to protect myself from anything else that might hurt me. That list was the impetus I needed to change my focus. After all, we are the ones who hold the power of perspective.

We can choose the way we see things and we can fix our views to create more good and more beauty. IF we are willing to DO something about our thoughts, rather than wallow in our self-appointed pity and powerlessness. Admittedly, at times it is easier and safer to wallow but the reward is lacking and the despair will just continue to grow. The effort put forth, the work, and the change of perspective can change your life. You are able to move forward, smile easily, find hope and approach things in a more positive way. I was feeling the victim in my own life circumstances, forgetting of course that WE have the power to choose how we want to live. WE choose how to react when things happen to us. WE decide whether to allow it to break us or build us up.

After my last post, I was able to see clearly how much power I have in my own self to determine my disposition. God decides my circumstances and I decide how I react to them. DO I cling to HIM or become broken and tattered? Do I look at the dirt and dust around and covering me or do I look UP at the rain that is washing it all away?

My eyes have been opened to the beauty of my circumstances, and here is what I CHOOSE to see:

The monarch butterfly dancing and drinking on sweet pink cups of nectar.

The round green orbs, hanging on the gnarled branches of the apple trees, suckling and finding nourishment from the Mama tree. Preparing for fall and their place in the turning of the seasons.

The huckleberries, juiced to perfection, heavy on their branches. Competing with the birds to gather them for consumption and preservation.

The sweet, refreshing rain that sings it's quieting song on the windowpanes and rooftops.

The beautiful landscaping around my mother-in-laws yard. She is an artist and her palette, her masterpiece is evident as soon as the gravel crackles under tire when you've arrived.

Spending yesterday morning sorting, cleaning and organizing our suitcases and essentials-clearing floorspace and making things orderly and beautiful.

Driving Matt to work and stumbling upon a house that sold wildflower bouquets for $2.50 from their garden. I bought one for myself and one for my mother-in-law; there is nothing better to cheer me than flowers. I cleared a spot next to my bed and in view from the window and door, moved a lace doily over and laid the solitary necklace I have unpacked at it's feet. The bouquet is in a drinking glass-but one wouldn't notice with the hydrangea, pink echinachea, and colorful snapdragons that sprout gaily from it.

Watching two children sleep, legs and arms intertwined with one another, on one bed.

Feeling the breeze of a window fan on my face each evening and hearing Matt's exhausted "I love you" muttered just seconds before he is fast asleep.

The smell of sweet basil, bought from a greenhouse and replanted for my own use. The dreams of delicious pesto made from its leaves.

I feel as though life is much easier now. I feel as though I have more control of myself and my actions, and that I CAN handle what will come. It may not be perfect, but it will be beautiful because I choose to see it for its beauty.

Not even a week later...

Time has passed, hours have turned to days and days to what is nearing a week, and yet...not too much has changed and even less has been settled. It has been a ridiculously hard and busy week for Matt and I, busy and stressful to both mind and body. My swollen abdomen is only coddled in the evenings when I fall exhausted in the bed.

This week we have:

* Used up the last of the packing tape and all of the cardboard boxes available within a 100 mile radius

* Loaded two trailer loads and pickup truck beds

* Dug up perennials

* Went to our new home, The Villa, and realized that our belongings couldn't be brought in.

* Unloaded two trailer loads and pickup truck beds in a barn

* Cleaned up about 2 years worth of feed, garbage, and dust from an old workshop so that our furniture could be brought and PLACED somewhere.

* Sweated the equivalent of the Red Sea

* Replanted perennials in one random spot, until our property can be bushhogged.

* Made two 8 hour round trips with one still yet to come.

* Emptied our bank account assuming it would be worth it.

* Got our first MAIL in our new home.

* Cashed in our change jar for a grand total of $137.87!!! That is about 40 pounds less we had to move! ;-)

* Watched as only HALF of our stuff fit in the truck that we were assured could haul it all.

* Watched the kids have so much fun living at Grandma and Grandpa's house that they may never want to move with US!

* Decided that as soon as a toilet is in place and water is available, we will be moving to our new home. Regardless of a completed kitchen or Amish guys hanging from the raftors.


It has been a tremendously busy time for Matt and I, and due to various issues, all the brunt work has been placed on Matt and I. That means, the list above was done by me and my swollen belly and Matt with his swollen biceps. I know in my head that pregnant people ought not to lift so much or work so hard, but when there is no other option (and no-there wasn't) one must rise to the occasion. Matt has been a gem and has worked so hard-and has praised me for all my work, and apologized for the need of it, and been frustrated to see me at it. I just sort of joke, we are pioneers in the 21st century. Modern day Charles and Mary Ingalls. People got through it all, in worse conditions, and we will too. Not only that, but we will step out from the work as it is finished with our heads held high and our smiles proud. Proud that we accomplished so much. Proud that we worked well, worked faithfully, and did it all TOGETHER.

It has been a difficult adjustment living in the home of another. Family routines are not just altered, but abandoned altogether. Discipline has been adjusted, bedtimes lengthened, and roles of the family sacrificed. It is hard to be the leader of your family in your father's house-and this is what Matt is trying valiantly to contend with. My own roles have changed drastically too-too much.

Much in this situation has not gone RIGHT. We could have gone off the deep end many a time: in regret, disregard, unfaithfulness, unbelief and absolute MISERY. While all this MAY be true: I CHOOSE not to look at it that way. I CHOOSE to see this situation for the good it has brought and is bringing. So, I choose to not only realize, but remember and VALUE the great good that is being revealed.

~ That though we emptied ourselves of every spare penny we had, I am thankful that we DID have the necessary funds available. Our last move was made on a credit card.

~ I am thankful that Matt was able to sell mower and truck, giving us a little extra while also ridding us of the responsibility (and cost) of moving these things.

~ That I was able to be present for my new nieces' baptism, something I was unable to do at my last nieces'.

~ That Matt and I are unified in the way we feel and that we are going through it all together. It would be infinitely harder knowing that my feelings were not met with understanding.

~ That Grandma and Grandpa were able to keep the children with them on our last eight-hour trip, freeing them from being cooped up in the car unnecessarily.

~ The recognition that hasn't always been there, but is now starting to bud in Andrew's face as He enjoys our relatives.

~ That our new home happens to be snug in the midst of family and friends. While I do not really relish living in someone else's abode, I am grateful we have an option other than living among paint fumes and pulling up a bush! ;-)

~That today is the first day of Matt's new and long-coveted job.

~ That we are slowly getting closer to dreams fulfilled.

~ That through it all, we have God's promises to lift us up and make us strong. He is here for us and He is in control. And He will not give us more than we can handle.

I have been able to get access to a computer only the (now) two times I have posted since this all began and so, return comments are out of the picture. So are visiting other blogs, commenting on them, and even posting pictures to my posts . For this reason, I want to thank each of you who offered encouragement in my last post. I can not overstay my welcome on this borrowed computer to thank you all individually, but I DO want you to know that I have cherished each comment and pondered them in my heart long and hard, returning to them in my darkest hours. I really, REALLY appreciate having not only an outlet to just let it all go but one that supports and encourages me along the way. You all are just so great. I don't know what I'd do without you, and that is no joke.




~

The Best Laid Plans

My heart yearns for opportunity to express my reflections in written form, yet time and opportunity have not allowed for it.

This move is more consuming than I had at first thought and what we thought was a nice straight and narrow view has become cumbersome and curvy-not allowing to see too far into the future. Like a haze, a fog. We can barely see the tips of our toes as we embark on this journey.

Our new home, The Villa, is looking lovely on the outside: but the inside is no further progressed than when photos were snapped a month ago. Still no shower, no TOILET, and no kitchen. Still dust, floating in the sunlight of the rooms and glittering the floor. Still the loud clammer of hammer and nail, meeting together and buzz saw ripping. Our move date has been postponed until Friday morning-but even that is too soon; even a week later than we had originally expected-the house is not ready to welcome us. Or our belongings.

Internal struggles have torn my heart and mind in two and we are in the "Strategy TWO" mode:

Find an alternate place to store our belongings, since we can't put them in the house.

Have access to powder room sundries.

Find a way for Matt to be set up for success at his new work on Monday, while working hard this weekend and in the coming weeks. Can he be fully rested sleeping on the floor amongst dust and showering elsewhere?!

And worst of all: the one thing I made perfectly clear as a contingency before any new job or move was approved, might have to be forced into reality. Moving in with the in-laws. Moving in with ANYONE. It wasn't to be so, I can't bear the thought of it. And yet/

My ways are not His. My plans are fallible and short-sighted.

So- my breath draws tight in my chest, tears trickle up and out, and desperation looms and I am left to wait and see, hope and pray.

I said it before, and mean it more than ever before. Lord, give me strength to endure anything that might come about. Might I not only endure, but do so with grace and ease-and might I be strengthened in the process.

Please.

Sightings

As promised: a few of my favorite spots at the zoo. Gorillas are always lots of fun.

We interrupted this big dude's lunchtime it seems.

Look at that perfect heart-shaped nose! His wife must see her own little valentine every time she looks upon his face.

"Did someone just say I had a Valentine nose?!?"

"Who was it?!? Who said that?!? I'll find you. I'll hunt you down-and show you just what this valentine nose can do."

"Was it YOU???"

um...maybe He isn't romantic after all.

I'd better be going. Nice seein' ya!

Tall Blondes

Of course, the giraffes were a favorite spot for me.

Seeing as how they are my favorite animal-and have been since I was about knee-high.

I have always had sort of a kinship to the giraffe species...maybe because of my knobby knees and ridiculously long legs. Most likely because of my towering above everyone else. I know-it ain't no fun going through adolescence head and shoulders above the boys who are already struggling with their own insecurities. Try finding a date to prom! These girls have their burdens written all over their face. Just look at their eyes. I feel your pain, girlie. I feel your pain.

But just look at it this way- you've got some GORGEOUS lashes! You've definitely got THAT going for you. If used properly, you could get anything you want out of life. Or, so I've been told.

Of course, I wouldn't know.

But between you and me~ woman to woman~ you really ought to consider chewing with your mouth closed. There is nothing that can have the boys scrambling faster than the sight of a woman chewing and sharing the view. Nope. That DEFINITELY won't help in your efforts to find a man.

Just trying to help out...