A Child Named Benefit

 

(I stole this photo from Adele' because I am a photo thief.  But an honest one.  ;-) )

A certain child-who-shall-remain-nameless-lest-embarrassment-ensue said, incredulously, as we were driving down the road the other day "I would NEVER name my child BENEFIT!!!"

Confused, I said, "I wouldn't either.  But I've never heard anyone named Benefit.  Where have you heard of someone named Benefit?"

"That wagon over there!  It had a sign that said BENEFIT CAN DRIVE!! with a picture of someone on it!"

Oh my stars.  I about died laughing.  

 These moments are getting fewer and further in between but when they come, boy, do they bless me!

I Feel The Same

Moses was eating breakfast in the other room when I heard him say 

"Mmmmm.  Cottage cheese.  I love it in a deep regard" 

So don't do it.

 "Mama!  I made this sign.  It says it is illegal to punch someone in the face."  

Leave it to the Professionals

The other day Moses said to me...

 "Mama- since you are so professional at cutting eggs, will you please cut these eggs for me?"

He's a charmer.  ;-)

February Days

 

These days are full of... snow.  Lots and Lots of snow.  Every other day, cloud kings decide to lavish   flakes of crystal upon the earth people...if they are stingy, just an inch or two- mostly, though, they are too kind and generous for our own good.

All the sleds were broken before winter even began, so children make do by throwing their bodies down hills.  Moses stares out the window and watches children at play until Mama takes pity and sends him outdoors too.  

Under all this white there are creatures starting to stir, sap that is beginning to rise, crocuses that are heading toward the sun.  Like the thoughts deep within, there is so much happening under the surface that we do see but trust is there.  I'm trusting, Lord!! 

 As long time readers of the blog know, Matt is a strange fellow who takes some of the coldest nights of winter and goes camping.  And he somehow finds this fun.  Matt celebrated his 44th birthday on February 13th by going cold-weather camping with the boys (it was maybe 4 degrees out that morning).  I found him napping, all snuggled in, on the couch later that day.  

Matt's birthday dessert looked a bit different this year- he has been really dedicated to making good food choices and I didn't want to subvert his efforts.  But low carb desserts usually stink, quite frankly, and it bugs me when people say "these taste just like so-n-so...maybe better!"  Because they usually taste like gritty, bitter cardboard.  Who are they kidding?!  And it is just MEAN to get my hopes up with a tasty looking picture and then have me be so utterly disappointed.  Well, I think I finally found a GOOD tasting cookie.  One that I actually WANT to eat.  (Wonder of wonders!)  So I made it BIG, topped it with peanut butter mousse, drizzled with chocolate  and dolloped it with whipped cream.  It was actually pretty decent, and that says something if I said it.  I am particular with my sweets.  

Also a part of these days...a broken toilet!  A home with seven potty-goers and a single solitary NOT WORKING toilet is no fun, let me tell you.  But Matt swooped in and saved the day, as he often does.  Three Newman boys squished into our teeny bathroom to fix the whole thing was a funny and ugly and beautiful sight.

My unicorn-loving girl made unicorn Valentine's for her friends and asked me to take a picture of them.  Which reminds me of a moment that tickled me this week...

Ineke, after reading this book:  "Mama?  Are wishes real? Because I have wished and wished... I've tried practically everything... and I still can't ride a unicorn!"

Blocks In Her Socks and other DON'T FORGETS!

"I have a headache in my belly."

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Last night I had a terrifying dream about Moses that left me near traumatized.  I could not fall back asleep- every time I did, the horrible images would fill my brain again.  So I just got out of bed to clear my head and set eyes on my precious boy.  I needed to calm my heart a bit.  I quietly tiptoed to the cradle, making not a sound, and leaned over to look in at him.  There he was just a few inches from my head, sleeping peacefully.  I lingered for a few seconds, gazing at him, and all of a sudden, he opened one eye just a slit and gave me the sweetest, most peaceful and contented smile.  Then turned and slept again.   It was like he had smelled me or felt my breath on his cheeks and it made him happy.  And just like that- I'm done in.

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After seeing a cute little smiling boy with dimples, Ineke said "I'd like to have that boy for a sister!"

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Words I never thought I would have to say:  "Boys!  You may not sled off the barn roof!"

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At the supper table, Ineke has taken to asking to be 'xcused to go potty whenever she feels lazy about finishing her plate.  In an effort to thwart her in that, we've taken to asking "Do you have to go #1 or #2?"  Or, in other words...is it an emergency?  She was asked this one evening and her reply was...  "NEITHER!  I have to go number 61!"

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After watching The Secret Garden, Ineke said "I would like to have a secret garden.  And in MY secret garden I would have two goats, a deer and a UNICORN."

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It was a particularly gorgeous day and as we were driving along to pick up milk, we rolled the windows down.  Driving past a farm who was in the process of spreading manure, Judah exclaims "Ooh boy!  Do you smell that, Moses?  That's the smell of GLORY!"

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Serving plates of spaghetti and meatballs, Ineke chimes out "Mama!  Will you please cut my marbles?"

Antics

Ineke, the Connect Four champion of the wooooorrrrllllldddddd!

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Judah asked Andrew "Can I pleeeease have a piggybank ride?"

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(The backstory: after having washed her hands after an encounter with a rotten egg, we were all in the van on the way to church.)
Judah calls from the backseat- "I still smell rotten egg!" to which Adele' replies, in all seriousness, "I washed my hands!  It must be Mama's armpit thing!"

I do keep my deodorant in the glove box and tend to only remember to put it on for church- but I refuse to believe it smells anything like rotten eggs.  OR maybe she was referring to my armpits without deodorant?

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Judah: "Oh no!  The mums got frost bites!"

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Corynn is growing so old (and she likes to believe, wise) that the funny-isms are few and far between.  But every now and again I catch one.

Having had a failed tooth extraction the day before, when I asked Corynn to change Ineke's diaper for me she replied in a truly Anne Shirley sort of way " Oh, but I can't!  I'm INVALID.  Er... I mean an INFIDEL.  Er....I mean...."

"I believe you mean INFIRMED.  Now, go change that diaper!"

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Describing the mutations of genes in hyenas- and specifically, the birth canal being too long and thin to safely deliver pups, Corynn referred to it instead as a root canal.  The aforementioned tooth issues must have been on her mind.

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After having gone to the drugstore for a prescription, Adele' spotted the bag on the table and said "Oh look!  Mama has been to the drunk store again!"