What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~ Martin Luther

Monday, July 23, 2007

Joys and sorrows

This past weekend... where do I begin?

We travelled 'abroad' this weekend (3 1/2 hours Northward) and in our great travels, we encountered creatures of all kinds (the zoo), sailed the great seas (kayaked in the lake), foraged for food (picked blueberries), happened upon some natives (visited with family), witnessed a miracle (watched first hand a water lily open up) and defied death (more to come on that.)

We had a wonderful time and a horrible time all at once, were happy AND sad, encouraged and DISCOURAGED; all these things in the space of three days. Here is just one example.

Saturday night, after an EXTREMELY full and fun-filled day at the zoo, we went to bed happy and exhausted. We needed no convincing once our heads hit the pillow. Mine hit a bit after midnight.

At 2:00 am, a horrible scream rips through the night, a petrified Corynn shrieks for me to save her from the crocodile that is about to bite off her arm. Matt jumped out of bed, soothed her and came back in. It was just a bad dream, we all thought. But then. Just minutes later, AGAIN. She screamed as if she were on the brink of death.

I ran to her and brought my pillow. She needed me near and Matt did not, so I would sleep weith her this night. Perhaps the zoo had left a more negative effect than I had anticipated. Yet,the moment I reached the bed I could feel the heat radiate from her body. She was BURNING up. She had a 104.5 temperature, just out of the blue! And those bad dreams were hallucinations. She SAW crocodiles. She SAW a man get hit by a car. She pleaded with me to get the mud and dirt from her perfectly clean hands, feet and pillow. She SAW her cousin Samuel in the room and pointed to him even after I assured her that he was in his own home, in his own bed. Every time she would fade into sleep, she would wake up terrified. Or she would talk nonsense. She spoke as if she were another girl. It terrified me.

A 2:30 am cold bath, drinks of OJ, and doses of tylenol later, we made a makeshift bed on the living room floor so as not to disturb anyone. A girl clad in only her little pink panties was wrapped in her Mama's arms for the rest of the night; the heat from her skin burning the skin that touched her yet crying from the cold, crying out in fear as her mind played cruel tricks on her despite the calm assurances I offered her. I stroked her brow and over and over, kissed her forehead, and whispered in the night about sweet little fairies going to a dance by way of the firefly's nightlights. I tried desperately to get her thinking of happy things-tried to get those horrible images out of her head. Eventually, in the calm of a quiet moment, my brain gave in to the sleep it so needed.

I woke up as I felt Corynn's little thumb stroking my cheek, over and over again, as gently as I had hers. I opened my eyes and saw my Little Miss snuggled with the blanket over her head, her big brown eyes staring at me. She saw me glance and whispered, "Mama, I finally feel warm. You are a good Mama." I smiled. She touched my heart just then. She smiled and said "I love you, Mama" then nestled her head into her pillow and fell asleep before I had even the chance to tell her the same.

Though my mind was ablur with lack of sleep, I was touched SO deeply that I couldn't help but think about the great gift of being a mother.

I realized the great blessing it was to minister to my child, even in the wee morning hours. When I had begun caring for my fevered girl, I felt badly for her AND for me. Oh dear. I hadn't gotten to bed until 3am a few days ago, then twice I stayed up until midnight. I had only been asleep for two hours before I had to wake up to face her crocodiles. Oh, woe is me! And I was JEALOUS of my husband, who was sleeping soundly and so comfortably in a bed just a few rooms away. But after those sweet words were spoken, my daughter showed me the great truth I had forgotten.

I was made aware of the great testimony of love and devotion I gave to her as I lay with her on that hard floor. She had no doubt in her mind that I loved her and cared for her. She knew my love and was comforted by it. And she was THANKFUL for it.
I thought about how terrible it would have been to have lost her at that very moment. But I thought that if I HAD lost her, she would have known her Mother's love. She would have entered into our Father's presence without ever leaving her mother's arms. What a great gift it was, that I could show her one more time, how dear she is to me. What a great gift it was, to REMEMBER how dear she is to me-because as a child, tender and frail, come face to face with illness-(s)he becomes that much more sweet. That much more lovely and wonderful and that much more undeserving of such sickness. You realize just how that frail little one means to you and how your life would be if you didn't have them there with you.

An even greater gift, the most wonderful, was that these lessons I learned did not come on the wings of reality-only hypothetical. My girl is still with me and though the next day she was still horribly weak and ill, she is now becoming the bright and vibrant girl she usually is.

We missed church on Sunday and a much anticipated visit with some friends (I am SO sorry to have missed seeing you dear friends!) and are still recouperating from lack of sleep, but all is well that ends well.


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I have spent much of today on the computer, as I wanted to finish the process of adding my items to My Etsy Shop. I did that this morning...if you look in my sidebar under linkerdoos, you will find a link to go there to peruse. Happily, oh SO happily, just a couple hours after I had posted them, my first item (of TWO!) had sold! Thanks to Shannon for purchasing from me! You did more than just purchase a bonnet, my friend, you have REALLY encouraged me in my pursuits! What a great gift and surprise it was!

For anyone interested in purchasing a prairie bonnet like
this one
feel free to contact me. I would be happy to make more (and plan to) in any size. Adult sizes will be $10.00, infant and toddler ones are $8.00 I say this here, because if you would like a particular COLOR of fabric, print or design, I would be happy to oblige in that area if at all possible. Just let me know in my comments section and I will seek out some suitable fabric.

Now-rest time is nearly over and I am OVERDUE to get something DONE. Following are a few pictures from our weekend. More to come, but that will be for another day!

:-)

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10 comments:

Mrs. B. said...

I am so thankful that Corynn is on the mend and thankful that the Lord used it in your life.

Tracy said...

I 'm glad that Corynn is feeling better. I've had those nights And days. Hallucinations are not fun. Poor children!

Kelli said...

Oh, poor Corynn! I have wild, crazy, awful dreams when I get a high fever too. I'm so glad she had her mama there to comfort and keep her safe. I'm also glad that she is feeling better. May you all get a wonderful night's rest tonight.
Hugs,
Kelli
P.s I'll email you about the bonnets. :0)

Gena said...

I'm so glad your Corynn is better and I so thank you for sharing. I just spent the entire afternoon talking with my neighbor, who lost her oldest son, a little more than a month ago. We talked about the gift of having our children, however long the Lord allows. I, like all mothers, hope that our children are here long after we're gone. This little story just brings home to me, once again, that we need to take joy in every day and every gift that we're given when it comes to our family.

Also, congratulations on your Etsy shop. You do make beautiful things!

devildogwife said...

I'm so sorry you had such a rough weekend. Poor little one. It's so hard when our "babies" are ill. I'm glad that she's on the mend and feeling better.

Mrs. Hurzeler said...

Dear Rebecca,
I am so thankful your sweet blessing is feeling a bit better. You brought tears to my eyes explaining what it is like being a mother. Someday I hope to experience that joy. God Bless your sweet family. Love in Christ,
Mrs. Hurzeler

Anonymous said...

I too was teary after reading this blog! You are so wonderful!
Hillary

Elizabeth said...

I too am sorry Corynn was so sick- I know what it is like to deal with high temps especially recently!

I'm glad little miss is feeling much better and I had a wonderful time visiting with you!!!

Mama Russell said...

Oh, poor little girl! How scary for her AND for mama! I sure hope she is so much better.

What a sweet blessing those words she spoke to you. Isn't it just AMAZING to be a mother???? I would not trade it for anything. Thank you for sharing!

smilnsigh said...

I totally see how you had a wonderful time and a horrible time. -sigh-

Hugs, Mari-Nanci